So Saturday night my buddy and I are enjoying some adult beverages at Crabby Jacks, a joint in Gorham, NH....
There's an amateur DJ blasting some tunes....
And plenty of large, young broads throughout the bar. One of whom was sitting 7.5 feet away from me on a stool, gabbing away with her girlfriend....
One song ended, rather abruptly....
But the 250 pound girl next to me was slow to reduce her speech volume....
I heard, loud and clear:
HE TOLD ME HE JUST WANTED TO GO IN THE BACK DOOR----
My head instantly swiveled, the zaftig one and I made eye contact, and even her friend turned around to assess the damage.
Realizing what I heard, the kiss-and-teller's face went white and I snapped back to my straight-ahead posture. How was I going to react to this one? How was I going to polish this sizable nugget? How, pray tell, was I going to not urinate in my slacks???
I could very well have burst out laughing to aggravate her mortification....
Or, I could engage them in compassionate, mitigating conversation. I might holler over, "No way! Not on the first date!" or "Personally, I prefer the front door".
During the 4 seconds in which I dispassionately pondered my reaction, I looked over and saw that the two of them had thrown money on the bar and raced for the exit.
With my options suddenly revoked....all I could do is revel in the moment with my buddy who, most ironically, also happens to have an extensive record of LOUD TALKING inappropriate content after the music has stopped!
Sorry for the raunch folks, but this one was hilarious!
I've got one more crude story from this weekend to relay - but y'all will have to wait for tomorrow.
[Here it is.]
5 comments:
http://www.break.com/index/he-puts-it-in-the-wrong-hole.html
I just watched it.
The major difference between the two situations.....*intent*!
I can hear the little warnings from Viagra going off in C-Nut's head.
If your erection lasts more than 4 hrs, please consult a doctor.
250lbs, thats a whole lot of woman. But this is just another example that bigger "healthier" woman are willing to try a little harder to keep their men...
On a side note, was she drinking Busch or PBR?
kfell
Sales and uhh this: The only difference between persistence and pressure is technique.
Slow-rion out.
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