Well it's been a long and interesting 7 months living under the same roof (hers) as my MIL.
But this week she *closed* on her new condo and is slowly, though eagerly, starting the process of moving her stuff out.
Her plan all along was to vacate and leave the house for us but it temporarily changed when we moved in. Back then it seemed like she had changed her mind and was going to cohabitate here with us.
She spent most of this brutally hot summer out in the Hamptons but when she came back I think she reverted to her original plan of moving to this fancy shmancy retirement community.
I could elaborate, colorfully(!), a whole lot more but will just leave it at that - for the moment. Anyone who is thinking about living with their MIL or own mother....shoot me an email on the side and I'll helpfully intervene.
The house is very big here, almost too big for the four of us; it needs a lot of TLC/renovation but should be spectacular before long. I expect the entire next year to be filled with household projects. In fact I may even do a walk-through with my camera and post the floor plan to solicit ideas from y'all.
Check it out. That's what my MIL *stores* in her oven.
So every time WE NEED TO USE THE OVEN....that pile of scrap metal has to come out and find a landing spot.
And in a kitchen with ZERO counter-space, it invariably has to go on the stove.
But if you're cooking, chances are you've got a whole lot going on on the burners already!
This is insane. Not only is there ample storage space in the cabinets and whatnot....but also this is PURE GARBAGE. She saves every piece of aluminum that enters the house. Every time someone gets take-out she has to wash and salvage the containers and whatnot (and metal coffee cans, jars, etc.).
The worst is when you forget the junk is in there and pre-heat the oven. Then you have a whole pile of hot metal to manage!
One day, finally, I asked her if I could throw that stuff away.
MIL - NO.
CaptiousSIL - Are you going to take it to your new fancy retirement home?
MIL - YES.
CaptiousSIL - WHY? (holding up the circular pan/sheet)
MIL - Because my mother-in-law gave me that.
At a minimum that means the cookie sheet, pizza pan, or whatever it is is 40 FREAKIN' YEARS OLD - but it could easily be half a century old.
Do YOU think it's sanitary to cook on that crap?
She moves out in about three weeks...
OH, the blog material I've been sitting over the past 7 months!!!
Obviously, whenever you move into someone else's house, there are going to be novel things for you to deal with.
The kitchen won't be arranged the way you're used to; there may be different *thermostat* policies; and so on.
One thing here at my MIL's house that's driving me a little bit bananas is her phones - which are throughout the house, ringing all day long.
It's telemarketers, charitable organizations, political fundraisers, et al. There are distant relatives that call and, of course, all the people that normally keep in touch with or do business with my MIL.
Except that the phone rings, literally, off the hook! There are a stupendous *41 missed calls* on the Caller ID at the moment. Have you ever seen such a number? I hadn't.
The other night the phone rang at 10:30 pm when we were sleeping.
There was one phone in my room, next to my bed that just had to go. My personal policy was to NOT AT ALL answer the phone. And why would I? It'd would never be for me. I'm not an answering service or a secretary - especially not when it rings that often. I really wanted to remove this phone - THAT RANG ALL THE TIME - from my nightstand but hesitated at first. After all, this wasn't my house and often times my MIL would be outside, hear her phone ring and run in and grab the closest phone which happened to be the one next to my pillow!
But I had to get finally get rid of it. A week ago, the phone rang and woke me up at 5:12 am. It may have been a wrong number, but still. Enough was enough.
That's the beauty of cell phones. Remember before them when you had to answer OTHER PEOPLE'S personal calls? Remember the small talk you had to endure with your buddy's parents or sister before getting a hold of them?
My own parents' phone seems to ring quite a bit as well. Generally, the longer you've been somewhere, I think the more your number will be dialed.
But with my MIL, not only has she had the same number for decades, she also donates money to numerous organizations. And once you're on their lists as *generous*, they're going to solicit you out the wazoo!
Of course just about everything, including the solicitation, can be done over email these days. My own cell minutes are now down to around only 150 minutes per month - as all the small talk has permanently migrated over to email and text messaging.
I've just about gotten to the point where I loathe everything about phones...
People have been asking me, on the side, what it's like now living with my MIL. After all, it's been some time now - by my count 24 days.
But there're too many other statistically significant variables at the moment to render a targeted analysis.
In a word, things have been totally *fine* thus far. This house is big - providing a large buffer zone for anyone in need of a little space.
Plus, y'all need to be reminded, multi-generational cohabitation is actually the historical norm. Grown adults have been living with their parents and grandparents for well....MILLENNIA!
Recall that I myself grew up in a two-family home, the other half of which was occupied by my maternal grandparents. Also, my wife's grandmother lived in her family house for a bit as well. And when Social Security/Medicare/pensions go bust living arrangements will revert back to what they always were.
Forever molested by foresight, I'm pretty sure that I want to be close to my own children when I'm a drooling, napping, forgetful 'old coot'. I actually asked my 4.01 year old Princess the other night if she'd take care of me when I was old. Without hesitation, she reached around my neck and gave me one of her trademark python hugs, gritted her teeth, and say YES!
So as far as I'm concerned, living with my MIL or even my own *inlawish* parents, is simply part of the family deal.
Note there are a score of benefits to having an adult roommate. For one thing, I can now run out to the store, to the train station, or to the driving range at 6am with the comfort that I didn't leave my small children alone (as I used to do!). And, I fully intend on some late afternoons, taking the train into Manhattan and meeting my wife after work for dinner. Grandma will be left in charge!
Yeah there's the to-be-expected clutter, and the 'old coot' idiosyncrasies that come with the territory....but in my case, thus far, they've been surmountable. And I'm starting to get very comfortable here.
What's funny, if you recall, is that I spent nearly two weeks at my parents' house before officially moving down to Long Island. Put it this way, after dealing with my folks and their cluttered fridge, their insane newspaper hoarding(!), and their queer rubbish disposal procedures (composting!)...
I came down here, to my MIL's house, and the similarities bordered on the profound, with her stockpiles of expired food, her papers everywhere (though mostly mail), and her wacko garbage can ritual (uses those grocery store bags only - about 11 per day that have to be toted down to the garbage!).
So limbo at my parent's house was actually a full-simulation training ground for what I was moving into!
And can someone, anyone, tell me why those all those 'old coots', the same people who run around turning lights off to *save electricity*....why they all have this deranged obsession with leaving a faint kitchen light on all night long?
She told me the other day that she bought "IHOP" (ticker DIN), the pancake place at $10 a share about a year ago when poop was being splattered by the fan...
AND that she just recently sold it for $46 a share!
She had two other decent flips in there, one was SLB and the other escapes me at the moment.
Tomorrow I pack up the car, drive down to Long Island, AND officially move in with my MIL!!!
And no doubt many of y'all thought living under the authority of my former landlord was crazy, if not somewhat Moronic...
Though surely her friends are exclaiming:
What? You're letting your SIL move in with you?....In no time he'll be badgering you about alleged clutter and expired food! He'll probably even try to get you to clean off the kitchen counters....And he'll most definitely try to secretly dispose of your phonograph and your extra, perfectly functional Zenith TVs. Are you out of your mind? ARE YOU CRAZY???
