Not even 2.5 months into 2009, after an inauspicious start, my *big* brokerage account was up 50% overall.
Now, here I am after this ridiculous short squeeze, down maybe 20% on the year.
One thing that I could theoretically beat myself up with is the fact that I closed out most of my flying positions at the very peak of my account. See - An Aggressive Flattening.
The only problem was, that I started putting those trades back on THE VERY NEXT DAY.
Then, those *trades* turned into long-term *investments*. FAZ and SRS got annihilated...yadda, yadda, yadda....goodbye profits, hello losses.
One of the reasons I got flat back on March 9th was that looking at my profits I figured I could take considerable time off from the grind, do whatever, and still be quite content with the finances. But performance momentum and ego got the better of me - only for about the 50th time though!
March and April were pretty rough months for me. I was seriously sick to my stomach most of the time. I couldn't concentrate on anything. My homeschooling discipline suffered, as did my blog output. Etc.
I generally brag that nobody handles losing money better then me, that no one has more experience at it....as if that's something really worth boasting about.
But I've been through so many ups and downs, been banged up so many times, that at least the body blows aren't new to me. There's a whole bunch of y'all out there who've never lost money (or a job) before, who've never endured any economic hardship, and are snapping at your friends and family members these days. On this matter I'm truly sympathetic; but that still doesn't excuse your behavior.
Anyway, I recently decided that if my account should somehow get back to its old high....that I'll close everything out and take some time off from financial gambling.
What would I do?
Well, while I tremendously enjoy the intellectual challenge of trading, always have, the hollowness of it has started to chafe me.
I've gotten a whole lot more satisfaction out of this blog (1300 posts now!) which I could easily ramp up. I could write a book. Or I could develop and potentially market a homeschool curriculum.
Watching, raising, and educating kids is a full-time endeavor by itself. But I could really generate some productive momentum without the hassle of figuring out which Morons to bet against on Wall Street.
Let's hope I only get the chance to make good (or renege!) on this *deal*.
1 comment:
20%? (yikes!) I guess I should TRY not to feel that bad for being down 12% in my futures account this year. I WAS down as much as 24% this year. At least I made back half my loss. My other accounts are down a few percent or less.
If it weren't for dumb mistakes (like daytrading without a stop-loss, or failing to cover a swing-trade short position when my rules told me to cover, or, ironically covering a short position too soon when it had been way underwater and then market moved in my direction)....if not for these mistakes, my futures account would have been up for the year.
I covered my S&P futures short (/ES) too soon this week because I had been worrying too much, due the size of the position. Luckily, I held my inverse ETFs until the close on Wednesday. Wish I had held my /ES short until then.
I'm currently in cash waiting for a new entry to get short for a swing trade IF we get a bounce. I also recently came up with a simple mechanical system for daytrading (usually no more than 1 trade per day, max) that looks very promising if I can have the guts to stick with the program during inevitable times when the system isn't on a role.
Trading can be very stressful...almost a stressful as a "real" job but maybe not as annoying as having to deal with an employer and dumb-ass clients or dumb-ass customers. ;-)
I'm hoping to trade for a living at some point. but the past couple of months have got me wondering if it's going to be feasible. Last year was a great year for me, but it's depressing to be in negative territory for the year (so far).
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