In Praise Of Dead Sports

Here's what I do with my beloved Boston Celtics in the NBA Finals yet again:

At night I tape, er DVR, the game. I wake up in the morning and check the score to see if they won.

If they were in fact victorious, I'm delighted and will thoroughly enjoy watching the entire recorded game on my low-def color TV.

If they lost, I delete the game from my cable box and from my memory.

Yesterday I was explaining my strategy to an acquaintance down here.

He scoffed, called my approach *ridiculous*, and insisted that it *defeated the purpose*.

The purpose?

With all the drama in my life: landlord fighting, moving, marriage to a 100% Italian broad, homeschooling, trading, and now living with the MIL(!)....I scarcely need the stomach-churning of a LIVE playoff sports event - with it's four-minute commercials and bazillion time-outs.

Now this guy was hardly the first to mock my policy of only watching DEAD sports - as I've had the DVR now for over 10 years.

In his defense, he's not a Boston fan, he's a New Yorker so he hasn't had the burden of watching so many important playoff games!

But to him and every other couch-potato big mouth I say this,

"Have you ever tried to tape a game and watch it knowing the outcome or fast-forwarded? Well I've done it both ways - watching sports both live and dead. How much free time to you have anyway, O sluggard?"