Coping...

Wowsers. What a horrible book title!

So last night I got a very urgent phone call. A friend revealed extremely tragic news...

His MIL was moving in with him!

Furthermore, the doctors have only given him *a month to live*.

Suffices to say he was very thirsty yesterday; and I did what any compassionate friend does in these circumstances - I took him to out boozing. He didn't get wasted, but let's just say his chin was leaning on the bar most of the night. At the last minute I tried to round up a couple of his other buddies, each of whom, although unable to personally mitigate the grieving process, they both expressed their most sincere condolences.

It reminded me of my days back in the option trading pit. Whenever someone lost a boatload of money (>100k), we were all morally obligated to go out drinking hard as a joint act of consolation; it didn't well matter whether it was Monday or not, whether one might have had plans, etc....everything had to be dropped. That's just what we adults(?) did in the face of tragedy.

Of course, some MILs are far worse than others.

This particular one, is the one who threatened to call social services on her daughter for child incarceration - that would be the very daughter that SHE ABUSED some years ago!

Christmas Gifts

I am more than halfway through one of last year's Christmas gifts - the Life Application Study Bible. I'm almost through Isaiah.

This year I got a few more books including:



For moi?

I received three more books in this bundle from my Brooklyn Heights uncle. Another title was Dimboxes, Epopts, And Other Quidams - Words to Describe Life's Indescribable People.

My wife got me a winter hat - and that's it!

I told my mother, who usually buys me all sorts of little crap, that if she bought me ANYTHING at all this year (not even a toothbrush) that I would not let her see her grandkids, ever again.

So what does she do? She omitted the trinkets but had my father give me a $100 gift certificate (supposedly from him) to REI. Do y'all know that store? It's a high-end outdoors store for Cambridge trust fund kids. It's got $70 walking T-shirts and whatnot.

I went into REI the other day to try and spend the money but couldn't find one item in the entire store that I fancied - not even a pair of socks. What a waste! Every penny my parents blow now I will have to cover in their dotage. Remember it's not just me; I have three siblings who're eager recipients.

Again, my parents think themselves *rich* because they've got pensions and Social Security money in the pipeline.

But I know I'm *poor* because I have no such financial backstops and because I know I am going to have to pay for theirs one way or another - directly or via confiscatory taxation.

Can't Be Grateful

Or *gracious* - whatever the proper term.

My father brought me a $1 off coupon for Pop Tarts the other day - because he's seen the product in our house before.

CaptiousNut - Dad, I don't use coupons. There a pain in the ass.

MrNut -It's a buck off!

CaptiousNut - Do you know how many ways I can save a dollar? I'd go crazy if I exercised them all.

Yeah, I was ungrateful and a spot rude. But here's what would have happened otherwise.

My father would have started clipping not only Pop Tart coupons for me....he start scanning my house to see what other foodstuffs and products we consumed. Then he'd be bringing me piles of coupons that I still wouldn't use. I had to nip this one in the bud.

Almost ten years ago, a good friend of mine brought in some *Pasta Rosa* to work for me. He was married and apparently it was one of his wife's signature dishes (I detected Knorrs soup mix, shhhh). I was a starving bachelor - or so they thought; they probably made a big batch; etc. It was loaded with sweet sausage as well. I ate it, complimented his wife the chef, and thanked him for it.

The next thing I know, every two weeks I was getting a shipment of this pasta rosa at work. It really started to taste awful. Pasta is my favorite thing in the world. I could eat it every other day. But this wasn't worthy. So the food started to languish in my fridge.

Then my buddy started hassling me for the GladWare. Now isn't the whole point of GladWare that it doesn't have to get returned? That it's disposable?

So I'm forced to start emptying the Knorrs Soup Mix Pasta Rosa into the trash if only so I could wash and return the GladWare.

But the pasta just kept coming. Finally I had to put my foot down. All of this started by what I thought was an innocent compliment. It's been experiences like these that have conditioned me to be chary with praise and gratefulness today.

Ironically, I have another story along these lines ALSO involving sausage with my food-obsessed MIL (mother-in-law). Her meat even sent me to the emergency room one Easter weekend. Though that's a tale for another post.