What is unschooling anyway?
I can't pretend to be an expert on unschooling, I can only say that its been an amazing gift for our family. I've been unschooling my son (who is 10 yrs old) for three years now. Unschooling will look different in different families, and "radical unschooling" simply means extending the philosophy of unschooling (that children will learn what they need to know when they are ready and want to learn it) into every other aspect of life (i.e. children will go to sleep when they are tired, eat when they are hungry, and will learn to be a functioning, helpful member of a family/household without being forced/required to do things like chores, given punishments, limited on tv/videogames, etc.) Radical unschooling could also be called Mindful Parenting, or respectful parenting (although one could be parenting mindfully, and their children attend school). In any case, I cringe when I hear parents say "We unschool except for math" or "we only do two hours of seatwork a day, then we unschool" or "we unschool on the weekends" or "we unschool, and I only require "X" amt of written work each week, but they get to choose the subject!" While all of that might work for a family, its not really true unschooling. That's like saying you're a "little bit pregnant"...if you're following a curriculum, or requiring work, it may be very relaxed homeschooling, or eclectic homeschooling, but not unschooling.
A couple of excellent websites to learn about unschooling are:
Joyce Fetteroll's site: link
Joyce has a daughter (i think she's an older teen?), and has been unschooling for quite some time. Her site has TONS of info about what unschooling is, how to get started, positive spins on chores, food, sleep behavior, etc. Enough info here to keep a new unschooler reading for some time!
Sandra Dodd's Website: link
(Click around on the links to different pages, to read interesting
essays on chores, college, videogames, and much much more.) Sandra is a mom whose three children (I think they are 14,17, and 20 now) have always been unschooled. Sandra is a former school teacher, and author of the book Moving a Puddle. I've seen her speak several times at two separate Live and Learn unschooling conferences, and she's really funny.
When I first began unschooling, and was asked what it meant, I would say that it was homeschooling in a child-led, hands-on way. That instead of learning math from a workbook or science from a textbook we'd bake cookies (with all that measuring )and plant a garden (photosynthesis and all that)....and while both of those activities have value, after a few years of unschooling I've come to learn that unschooling isn't really *that*, it isn't really a way to "teach" your child that is fun or hands on. Now I realize that when we bake cookies its because baking cookies is fun and we want to eat cookies, or if we plant in the garden its because we find joy in that. I, as the unschooling parent, TRUST that learning is happening with each activity because children are learning all the time. I don't place any more value in an hour of my child reading a book than I do in an hour of him playing on online computer game or videogame. It's all learning. It's all wonderful. It's my job as an unschooling parent to recognize the learning that is taking place, see its value, and
encourage my child's passions.
Homeschooling parents usually say to me "But when left alone, my child will just play video games all day" or "unschooling is great for a highly self-motivated child, but mine is lazy and needs to be exposed to other things." That's another vital component to a successful, vibrant unschooling home, that gets missed from the definition of "unschoolers don't use curriculum"....the concept of *strewing*. Strewing, as coined by Sandra Dodd, means that an unschooling parent will create a home environment that is rich and interesting, fun and hands-on, an environment that will spark new interests and connections. Unschoolers probably have the same types of materials in their home as most other homeschooling families:maps, globe, microscope, blocks, art supplies, musical instruments, books, games, etc. But unschoolers also see everything else around them as fodder for learning. I can't tell you how many conversations about history, politics, sociology, anthropology, science, economics, etc. has been sparked by something in a videogame, online role playing game, tv show/dvd, song on the radio, comic book, etc. And yet these are the very same things that some parents try to limit in favor of more so-called "educational" items. Another vital component in an unschooling home is Trust. A parent needs to take a leap of faith, and trust that their child is learning. This is usually the biggest one for many parents to overcome. They have to let go of the "school voice" in their head, the one that wants to tell their child to put down that controller and go do something "educational" or worries that if their child isn't reading, writing, or "doing math" on the same schedule as other kids, they'll never get into college. A new unschooling parent needs to give their child time to deschool, which often looks like sitting around doing "nothing" and they have to deschool themselves as well. I would say another vital component is Joy—how to get it and how to keep it. Its Priority Number One in our household, making sure everyone is happy. My son and I both have to time to follow our interests, separately and together, we have open communication, and a completely punishment-free home. We try to figure out ways that everyone can get what they want. Joyce Fetteroll wrote "Always Say Yes. Or Some Form of Yes" and it's a philosophy I try to live by.
Unschooling can look very confusing to those on the outside looking in. It might look like the parent isn't doing anything at all, or it may look like the child is spending "all day" on activities that have "dubious" educational purpose. Often, people will confuse not *requiring* something (chores, reading, bedtimes) with the child not willingly doing those things. (Just because I don't expect/require my son to clean, he quite happily does so. Just because I don't insist my son have "good manners" doesn't mean he refuses to say Please or Thank You. Indeed I have my suspicions that it is precisely *because* I don't require, that I get so much willing cooperation from my son.)
I've seen the positive impact unschooling and mindful parenting has had on my son, such as going from a "nonreader" and one who hates to write, to a child who willingly and passionately does both. I've seen our parent-child relationship go from one filled with power struggles, yelling, stress, and the occasional spanking, to a home filled with respect, love, kindness, and the real sense that we are both on the "same side" instead of me vs. my child. I've seen what happens when hundreds of kids, all of whom are being raised similarly to my son, are "set loose" in a hotel for four days, to play, learn, and live, and it's a beautiful sight. (Particularly touching that in an entire four-day period in a hotel at an unschooling conference with probably 600+parents and children of all ages, I did not see ONE child spanked, yanked, yelled at, demeaned or talked to disrespectfully. And the children were bright, outgoing, imaginative, friendly, and kind.)
That's unschooling in a nutshell.
Katherine
Speaking of NUTS, Katherine's last parenthetical remark is beyond ludicrous.
"I did not see ONE child spanked, yanked, yelled at, demeaned or talked to disrespectfully..."
It certainly says more about her own scarred(?) childhood and hypersensitivities than what may be a more optimal way to impart knowledge and skills to your kids. Is she serious, talk to a child "disrespectfully"???
For every ideological movement on planet Earth, there's always an element that takes it too far.
Faced with these nitwits, we all have to be careful not to reject an idea based on some of its proponents.
I should point out that "unschooling" is one of many varied methods of homeschooling. The two are not one and the same. As you could gather from above, unschooling is a completely libertine, child-led approach to education. (Economic discussions prompted by video games???) Plenty of homeschoolers use standard curricula, text books, and strict schedules to teach their kids.
Here's a broad breakdown of the reasons why families choose to homeschool:
Sorry it's not such a great chart. Click on it to enlarge.
This survey asserts that 48.9% of parents chose to homeschool because they believe they can give the kids a "better education" at home.
The second highest reason people opt out of mass schooling is for "Religious reasons" - 38.4%.
As far as I am concerned, if you don't think you can teach your kids a whole lot more than they'd pick-up from a 1-on-30 teaching ratio then you are most likely an uneducated Moron yourself. Furthermore, you and your brood will remain self-fufilling, circular arguments for government education for generations!!!
Like I said at the beginning of this post, I have done a considerable amount of research on homeschooling and am almost 100% certain that I will give it a go. The pathetic resistance to homeschooling should, all by itself, almost be enough to sway one's mind. I would confidently rank arguments against homeschooling even below the low carb arguments of anthropomorphic global warming. Click here to find the "socialization" myth debunked - for the billionth time.
Last week I read a book titled: Real-Life Homeschooling: The Stories of 21 Families Who Teach Their Children at Home. These types of testimonial books are more raw data than literature. For the most part, the profiled homeschoolers all got flack from their parents (kids' grandparents) and various other friends and relatives. When you do something as boldly self-righteous and morally superior as reject mass schooling, the insecure are guaranteed to take offense. When it comes to "sensitivity" and "taking offense" I always offer up this analogy:
If a three-year old kid came up to you and called you "stupid", there's hardly a chance you would take offense, right?
Now if someone older, more within your peer group, made the same allegation, any little reaction you have admits to a degree of credibility for the accuser.
The unwitting fact is, most people who outsource the mind control of their children do realize its folly. And when you homeschool (in their face) their guilt will fester into feelings that well, aren't that grown-up.
Homeschooling will especially agitate your parents. They don't want to think for a second that they were derelict in sending you and your siblings to government or private mass schooling factories. While all the homeschoolers in the book had to endure some social resistance, all but one of the profiled families' parents (et al) eventually came around loving the idea of homeschooling. (In a couple of cases, family members reported the homeschooling to the authorities. One man in Jacksonville was arrested, sent to jail, and fell into crippling debt fighting for his homeschooling rights in court. Years later he found out it was his mother-in-law who dimed him out! This was 25 years ago, before homeschooling was accepted by state legislatures. Though, without a doubt, mother-in-laws have since devised sundry new ways to terrorize.)
The one family who couldn't ever win over "Grandma" to homeschooling described her as a "career public school teacher" who was just extremely defensive of the system she devoted her life's work to. This is sort of where I am at with my own mother. I've known for a while now not to even broach the subject with her - herself a high school teacher. Her ego is, also, just way too wrapped up in what she does (or rather, what she thinks she does).
Her aversion to homeschooling isn't based on any in-depth research; she hasn't read any testimonials; she hasn't noticed homeschoolers winning National Spelling Bees. She's totally ignorant of the sordid history of mass compulsory schooling. Heck, she can't even find any time to read my blog.
No, her tireless argument for sending kids to factory schools goes like this, "We have one kid in town that I know who's homeschooled....The mother can't even spell."
There you have it. Send your kids to those government schools and they will get science teachers like my mother who thinks "for example" is rigorous PROOF.
Nonetheless, I'd still have been better off being homeschooled. Try not to extrapolate my mother's intelligence quotient from this one issue - it'd be ironically ignorant!
ALL the homeschoolers stridently claim that in the process of teaching their kids, that they themselves have stretched their minds to new heights.
I wouldn't doubt that for a second. What I have learned in the past 18 months or so about education: its theories, practices, and history, has been staggering. This one little door that John Taylor Gatto opened for me has already aroused my brain and fundamentally altered the course my family's lives.
And y'all remember that when I inveigh against mass schooling I am excoriating a system in which I thrived. I graduated early from UPenn (currently tied for 5th in those insipid rankings) with a double major and GPA high enough to merit an embellishing Latin phrase.
The unsettling truth is that the system held me back; it stunted my potential and sapped my humanity. I learned how to play the game - how to ace tests. I didn't attain or retain any real knowledge; I wasn't sculpted into a lifelong learner; and I certainly didn't develop any perspective on the real world into which I graduated. So much for a liberal arts education!
The realization that I was essentially brain-dead from ages 20-30 depresses the absolute hell out of me. For this I squarely blame the "school system" I was unfortunately born into.
On the bright side, at least I didn't wake up when I was forty or fifty.
6 comments:
Good post, minus the uncouth remarks about talking disrespectfully to children and labelling unschooling as "libertine" (careful now, you're about a month's worth of reading and consideration away from being comfortable with wanting to unschool your kids yourself... you'll feel bad about what you said when you do!).
In the strict sense of the word, there isn't anything "libertine" about unschooling. I think people get carried away describing unschooling a lot of different ways when it'd be a lot easier and more descriptive to say "unschooling is an educational process whereby you treat a child like a potential adult and let them learn on their own," because that's what unschooling comes down to the way I understand it. You give a child some FREEDOM, something that is so terrifying to people these days, and let the child use that freedom how he likes, just like an adult deserves freedom. Kids are generally ten times more curious and inquisitive than adults. I don't know where this idea came from that you could "teach" kids, curious as cats, more by locking them in mental prisons and force-feeding them information but its a ridiculous idea because it denies the child the benefit of their own wondering nature. (Scratch that, I've read Gatto and Rothbard, too, I know very well where this idea came from and what the motivation for implementing it is).
I don't know what was so odd to you about the "speaking disrespectfully to children" remark. The way you acted surprised, it seems like you think children can't be spoken to disrespectfully? That it isn't possible because a child doesn't deserve or can't make use of respect?
I don't know if I have that right or not, maybe you could explain what you meant, but respect is more than thinking highly of someone. Respect also means recognizing the reality of a person and their condition as a human being. For example, say you have an elderly family member in a wheelchair and the family is all going out to dinner and everyone hops into the car and no one thinks to help the elderly member out of their wheelchair and into the car. That's disrespectful because you're ignoring that the person is physically incapable of doing something like that.
Similarly, the idea of talking disrespectfully to a child, as this woman says (and coming from her, an unschooler, this is what I imagine she means), telling a child something like, "Study this math book!" or "Eat your peas!" is disrespectful, because maybe the child doesn't enjoy learning math in the math book, or maybe they don't like the taste of peas. When you handle a kid like that, you aren't taking into consideration who they are, what their values are and what they might think of the situation. That's disrespectful, laughable as you might think it is.
I was talking with a friend of mine today about spanking-- did we think it was or wasn't a useful child-raising technique. I was spanked occasionally as a child, I didn't ask my friend if he was but he said he was in the future-spanker camp. I said that I used to think spanking was okay but now I don't know so much. Here is a summary of our discussion:
I offered that spanking is not right because a child doesn't deserve to be hit and that hitting a child doesn't send the right message. You wouldn't hit an adult to get your point across, would you? My friend countered that perhaps children are incapable of reasoning at a very young age, making them animalistic, at which point spanking would be an appropriate behavior-transformation technique. I said that if a child is incapable of reason and is simply an animal at a young age, then spanking is further unnecessary because in that case you are punishing the child for being themselves. That is, if the child is misbehaving because of some animal inability to reason, then they aren't doing this because they are making a choice, they're acting out of instinct, so to speak, and in that sense you're hitting an animal for just doing its thing. It'd be like hitting a cow for mooing, or a dog for wanting to have its head scratched or something. These are just things these animals do, so why would you hit the poor animal?
But, if the child DOES have reason even at a young age, then spanking makes NO SENSE, because you're not teaching a child to utilize that reason and to make good choices, you're simply employing fear, the tool of tyrants everywhere. You are teaching the child that they will behave as you want, or else they will suffer pain. Furthermore, you are teaching the child that this is RIGHT... the child will grow up implicitly believing that might makes right (think about the implications of this for resisting tyrannical governments, for instance).
Another problem I had with the idea of spanking is... what level of force is acceptable? Is breaking bones acceptable? Is bruising acceptable? Is leaving red splotches acceptable? Where does one draw a line with the spanking? It seems to me that with the spanking violence is violence, and sure there are varying forms but striking a child in any fashion is still striking a child.
You're trying to instill in a child adult values and help them to grow up to be a self-responsible adult. How do you teach them to negotiate the world by spanking? You'd never hit anyone else you love, so why hit your kid? I thought it was an interesting discussion, what's your take?
So, I am taking this journalism course this semester called Families and Children (don't laugh! and yes, I am the only guy in the class) and everyone has to report and write an extended piece on a topic of our choosing related to the class. I went with homeschooling, and I am actually profiling this woman's family and experiences: http://homeschoolinginnewyorkcity.blogspot.com/
She has posted a LOT and I wanted to share this link with you as you might find it helpful to understand why she decided to homeschool her kids and how she does it. I spoke with her on the phone a week ago as part of my initial reporting, and I found the way she described everything to be quite exciting. She unschools her kids and has had a lot of success. I don't know if unschooling is right for every kid or not (my first impulse is actually that it IS, that regardless of a child's natural curiosity or ability... say a child is retarded for instance... no child should have any kind of education forced on them) but it sounds like it is working, and working great, for them. I find her family's story especially interesting because they are not religious/crunchy granola type, she said she was just fed up with the system and thought it was limiting her children's growth.
I am excited about the possibility of homeschooling/unschooling my children in the future. I think it is a great idea. I'll share my article with you in a few months when I have it written. I might use some of the links you provided in this post to do further research as well.
Check out her blog and tell me what you think. And cheers to you for deciding to educate your kids NATURALLY, as well.
Good post. I've homeschooled my girls their entire lives, and as far as I'm concerned, homeschooling is just an extension of life. I taught my children to walk, talk, eat, and use the toilet - it's perfectly natural to teach them to read, add, and understand politics, you know? It seems to me it's sending our six-year-olds away for the whole day, five days a week, that's unnatural.
That said, I've never quite been comfortable with the idea of unschooling. I believe that children need structure and limits, that they need to learn to do housework (whether they like it or not), and that they will benefit from doing some things they dislike. I also think that some things are harmful to them, regardless of how much they may like those things, and that children are not always wise enough to say no to something they like but may harm them. So we put limits on TV and video/computer games, and encourage them to use their imaginations.
And in spite of the fact that it causes some stress in our home, my kids do math and phonics or grammar daily. That said, I try to choose a curriculum that makes it as easy and interesting as possible, and I won't touch those insipid books that are written expressly to try to "teach" kids science or history. We use real books (biographies, historical fiction, and original sources) and real-life experiences (experiments, field trips, and free time to explore) to learn those subjects. My kids have tons of free time, and they use that for whatever interests them.
I wish you the best as you plan your homeschooling years. In spite of their objections, as you've noted, many grandparents are eventually won over (even the ones who teach public school). My mother-in-law feels very strongly about homeschooling, and the fact that both her other sons have homeschooled some and their kids have not done well has made things more difficult. But she has at least come to the place where she recognizes that homeschooling has not been bad for my kids, and that they have prospered through it. (She's still pushing us to send the girls to high school, though - and we'll see what happens when we get there - we still have a few years to go). Anyway, hang in there; keep being as good a parent as you can to your kids today, and you'll find homeschooling will come along naturally when you're ready. Enjoy!
What a fun post! I really enjoy your writing style! I'll have to come back later to poke around your blog, right now I need to go wake up my 3 boys for homeschooling ;)
Just wanted to drop a quick note to say that we have 3 public school teachers in our immediate family -- My mother-in-law, my dad, and my sister. My dad was the only one to give us (minor) grief. He came around though, the instant another teacher at his school began to pick on homeschoolers. Then dad started researching statistics etc. just so he could out-argue the other teacher! Now I know if I want my dad on my side, I simply need to plant an antagonist in his life :)
Anyway, have fun figuring it all out! Your mom will come around... The proof is in the pudding, as they say!
Cap Nut If you haven't already figured out from previous posts, I am a HS teacher. I have taught in MA and am currently teaching in VA. It's really interesting that most homeschoolers I have met from MA are about the education and most homeschoolers from VA are about the religion. I am convinced that any determined, caring parent could home school their kid and do a better job than we do in public education. SOO much less BS. However, parents need to be open to help. As adults, we all have strengths and weaknesses that need to be recognized. There is not any way I could teach calculus that the kids currently learn in school. It is the same material I got a D on in college. If I were homeschooling my child, I would hire a tutor (outsource?) to teach him the material I was not comfortable teaching. I would also be interested in seeing studies about homeschoolers getting into Ivy League schools. Does this help or hurt? Another question, would your kids have to take the "high stakes tests"? Which, by the way, I am in favor of.
Coach G,
Many homeschoolers collaborate or hire "specialists" to compensate in areas in which they are personally weak. My wife was just talking to a guy who homeschooled and he said he spends 2k a month on all the various little tutors he throws at his kids.
I believe all the tests are important: the SAT, spelling bee, competitive math, debate, geography bee, etc. Rapid computation is a life skill that kids need to thrive in the real world. Testing also helps highlight weaknesses.
Nothing the Knowledge Cartel (read: Big Academia) ever did would surprise me. So if they were holding homeschooling against candidates, well, that'll be their loss. Despite being a nationally recognized math whiz, MIT waitlisted me (because I was a white male?). So I went to UPenn. Since 1992, MIT has fallen in those insipid rankings and been surpassed by Penn, which has jumped a ton. One can't read too much into my example, but at some point, the public wises up to the non-educational, political priorities of these colleges.
I hope my kids won't even need to go to college. I didn't learn anything there myself; it's a waste of time and money to boot.
Taylor,
I am going to use all my scholarly powers to describe these parents who won't yell at their kids or punish them:
They are total effing Morons!
It's an irresponsible way to prepare youth for the real world. There are laws, boundaries, penalties, and consequences inherent in every corner of this Earth. If someone wants to prepare kids for a some idealized, fantastic world, then why not just send them to government schools?
Going to the dentist really sucks. Would you make that *optional* for your six year old as well?
I can't wait until your precocious brood googles your prior comments on parenting - say 15-20 years hence. "Hey Dad, what happened to your no rules and no yelling vows? Were you some peacenik hippie in college?"
What would you do with my 3-year old who keeps running around toward busy streets while I am juggling groceries, his baby sister, a diaper bag,...? Would you only use verbal persuasion?
Or would you lapse into "disrespect"?
That woman I blogged about isn't against "disrespecting children". She's against all confrontation. And it sounds like you agree.
If letting kids "learn" all day from video games isn't "libertine", then what is? Letting them stand up and pee on your bed?
Kids are learning all the time, but not all educational methods impart the same amount of knowledge. If a homeschooling parent's main goal is to shield their kid from factory schools then fine - at least admit it. I'll wager that the kids who are "forced" to learn about the classics and number theory will become far more educated - by every metric.
You said,
..careful now, you're about a month's worth of reading and consideration away from being comfortable with wanting to unschool your kids yourself..."
If I am a "mere month's worth of reading away" from unschooling my kids, then I guess you are at least a mere decade away from understanding what it's like to work, pay your own bills, get married, and have a couple of kids.
Deborah and Marcy,
Thanks for dropping in. As for my mother's approval, well, since she raised a real spoiled brat I have never really been hampered by her disapproval.
One hurdle with homeschooling here just south of Boston is the lack of homeschooling networks. Unlike the rest of the country, there are plenty of private schools here that have 1) kept the public schools from complete ruination and 2) given otherwise potential homeschoolers another option.
I've lived in five different areas these past seven years. Hopefully my next move will be to a more homeschooling-friendly one. Charlotte would be ideal.
God you're intolerable sometimes. Typical C-Nut strawman response. Never said anything about "no rules" and "no yelling." I did specifically mention that I didn't see the point in using physical violence against children, it seems to teach them the wrong lessons.
I made the mistake of trying to have a thoughtful dialog on a subject with you again, and I paid for it, again. Learned my lesson.
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