Sunday, January 31, 2010
Breaking My Vows
So last night I was out at some type of informal dinner party thing - a typical suburban couples thing.
Late into it, I was sitting there in the kitchen lecturing some guy on *self-denial*.
I gave him the example of how when I eat ice cream now, I only take two-thirds of what used to be my normal-sized portion. I most definitely had the gentleman's rapt attention.
For a second example I told him how I was going to go all year without eating pizza.
A moment later my wife's booming laughter interjected:
Mrs. C-Nut - HAH! You had pizza for lunch today.
Like being stomach-punched, I was frozen and speechless.
Mrs. C-Nut - You had those two pieces for lunch TODAY!
"Crap," I thought. I did in fact eat two leftover pieces from my wife's dinner last night for lunch. WTBleep!
Mrs. C-Nut - YOU DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT THROUGH JANUARY WITHOUT PIZZA!!!
[Yes, she was killing herself with laughter. Consider that it's very rare for scoffers to have the chance to unload on me like that.]
Now I was still stunned, and very upset. At Papa Gino's and the other pizza joints, all month long I had been getting sandwiches while my kids ate pepperoni pizza. But going to some fancy restaurant the night before, that was like a sneak attack on my consciousness. My wife ordered some less-than-masculine, wood-fired, pie with red onions, SWEET sausage, and goat cheese. I actually sampled it Friday night in addition to consuming the leftovers on Saturday.
It was bad enough that I broke my 2010 *resolution* so early - but to do so with that yuppified, broad-flavored pizza??? That realization really pissed me off.
And then guess what....this morning, in my REM sleep, I remembered that not only did I eat pizza on Friday night and Saturday afternoon...
But I also ATE PIZZA on my lunch date Friday afternoon with that castrato friend of mine. We dined at Pizzeria Uno and ordered a friggin deep dish - AT MY BEHEST!
For background, see - Sick Of Pizza.
Y'all realize that ain't (necessarily) pizza pictured above, right?