Monday, December 13, 2010
But No Bite-Marks On My Tongue!
So the dentist last week told me that I was grinding my teeth at night.
Actually, they asked if I *was grinding my teeth*?
How the bleep would I know? I've never heard myself snore either!
But on one spot they showed me how my teeth were *level*. And on the inside of one there was faint yellow.
The yellow is from, I learned, not from plaque but rather from scraping off the enamel. Yellow is the inside color that manifests itself in the mouths of 'old coots' not because they don't brush, but because their enamel is gone - so I was informed.
So what does this mean?
It means that I was advised to wear a $325 mouth-guard at night.
Are you freakin' kidding me? For how long?
FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
I bought it - although only because we had $800 in our *flex-spending* medical account that we HAD TO SPEND before the year's end - or we'd lose it.
But I'm not looking forward to wearing a mouth-guard for the rest of my life. I don't care what anyone says, those things promote halitosis.
I was just Googling and learned that teeth grinding is actually called bruxism - from the Greek for *gnashing of teeth*.
And I was just Googling for *natural remedies*. Y'all know me by now, I'm a DIY'er to the nth: cutting my own hair, teaching my own kids, trading my own money, a self-taught golf swing, etc. There isn't a dentist in the land that's going to tell me to do *jaw exercises* to stop night-time grinding. No, just like those orthopedic quacks with the outrageously expensive inserts they peddle, dentists would much rather ring the cash register for $300+ bucks for every grinder that walks in.
I don't dispute the fact that I grind - not after seeing the up-close images of my teeth, and not after hearing that the main cause was psychological, anxiety! Yeah, I've got plenty of that. My dreams are crazy these days. My normal dreams would probably qualify as the average person's worst nightmare. Seriously.
Anyways, all I've come up with for bio-organic solutions to my grinding so far is....*relaxation therapy*.
But I do sense there is some type of jaw yoga out there that actually works. Only it's hiding behind a bevy of quackish infomercial-type products on the web. I'll keep looking.