Monday, February 01, 2010

Eviction Chronicles

Before my (housing) court date scheduled only 10 days from now, there's still the small matter of February rent to manage - it being due today.

I have to say, that I was somewhat disappointed in how soon my scumbag landlord got a court day. Seriously, I missed only January's payment and he's trying to evict me by February 11th? What is that? Where's the compassion in this dire economy?

We've decided to pay February rent so that, if I end up having to go to court next week, I'll be able to tell the judge that I only missed a single payment; and of course, that payment was really just the legal return of my security deposit. How could a judge possibly order me to vacate under those circumstances?

And that would be without even going into the persistent negligence of my landlord: the rats, the flooded basement, the malfunctioning septic, the harassment, the frozen pipes, etc.

Should I end up in court, I'll tell the judge that March is my last month, and then I hope to be gone.

You see, it's a bit of a delicate balance. I can't paint my landlord as such a devil, and the house as such a pit, if I don't demonstrate the willingness to get the bleep out.

But I am going to deduct $867.44 (water bill) from my rent plus another $330 or so (due interest on my $5,000 security deposit/last month). In total, it'll amount to a mere $1,100.

So between me omitting a January payment, those deductions, and not paying for March (my last month), the jerk will only receive that $1,100 for the entire first three months of the year - a far cry from the $7,500 he was surely expecting. And hopefully his lawyer takes, or attempts to take, another $500 from him!

Then, at the end of March, with this clown down to his last or penultimate nickel, I'll present him with a new lease for $1,800 a month. Take it our leave it. Go ahead and start the eviction process anew. AND, then I threaten him verbally with things I won't specify on this blog. Let's just say that there's no guaranteeing that this place is rentable or saleable when I eventually move out. And that would kind of suck, for him (and the dumb-a$$ bank that lent to him in the first last place). Before anyone judge much would any of y'all pay for a rat-infested home? Ask your squeamish wives!

For the prior installment, see - Water Torture.


Funny Circus Bears said...

I'm chuckling. You're doing just fine.

Coach G said...

Well...I might make him start the eviction process..he must pay a sheriff to serve you papers..then..believe it or not..I'm pretty sure he has to put up a deposit in order to have your stuff moved out ( this is tru in the city of Boston)..then just leave before the day of the eviction..happened to me as a landlord..