Monday, August 11, 2008

South Shore Vampire

She's 2.16 years old, just about 20 pounds, and more than likely going to bite your kid at the playground or library. She particularly enjoys biting toddlers not long after their parents have commented on how cute she is.

Oh yeah, she's genetically my daughter.

Like all parents of incorrigible biters, we've tried everything to no avail. All the experts say to "bite her back" after she victimizes a child. I tried this and all it effected was her laughing uproariously.

All it takes is a slight touch, getting in her *personal space*, or, egad, another kid trying to take a toy that she has co-opted as her own. My little vampire doesn't discriminate - she's chomped 11 month old crawlers and, perhaps her favorite target, wussy 5 year-olds. Breaking the skin is at her discretion.

Clearly, my daughter overreacts; she comes way over the top. She responds to BBs with nukes.

I wonder from whom she inherited this proclivity?

Must be her mother.

The web says my daughter "lacks coping skills".


Anonymous said...

Cute kid. You should read "Alterna-dad" by Neal Pollock. You won't, and you won't like it, but there is big section on his kid who is/was a biter.

Slow out.

CaptiousNut said...


You totally read all the books: Dr. Spock, What to Expect When Your Expecting, etc. before the babies came, right?

Anonymous said...


Slow out

I do read what needs to be read though.

Alternadad is a very good read.