Friday, August 01, 2008

What Else Would You Expect On Greyhound?

Knife-wielding man beheads fellow passenger on bus

A passenger traveling on a bus across Canada's vast Western plains stabbed, gutted and decapitated a man seated next to him in an unexplained attack, a witness told media Thursday.

The victim had been sleeping before he was repeatedly stabbed in the chest by a man with a large knife, witness Garnet Caton told public broadcaster CBC.

The other 35 passengers and driver were jolted by "blood-curdling screams" and fled. "He must have stabbed him 50 times or 60 times," said Caton.

When Caton and two others returned to check on the victim, he said they saw the attacker "cutting the guy's head off and gutting him."

"While we were watching ... he calmly walked up to the front (of the bus) with the head in his hand and the knife and just calmly stared at us and dropped the head right in front of us."

Riding Greyhound buses is always quite the *experience* - if not a full fledged NDE.

The last time I rode one, from Atlantic City up to Manhattan in 2003, I was lucky enough to grab the last seat, make that half-seat available. The other passenger in this unfilled row was so obese that he took up a full 50% of my seat. So I had to sit side-saddled hanging out into the aisle for the torturous drive up a jam-packed Garden State Parkway. Meanwhile, this fat, smelly, non-American at one point decided to start cutting his finger nails. I kid you not that the process took 30 minutes and twice I was pelted in the face by flying nails!

The penultimate time I was on Greyhound, I was also spilling out into the aisle for some precious fresh air. I forget where we stopped outside of Philadelphia when a gentleman got on and sat in front of me. He was brandishing some paperwork; he held it up and through his summer teeth (some are here, some are there) he exclaimed, "I can't believe they let me out of jail so soon." Fortunately, he didn't decapitate any other passengers.

Another time I was on a Greyhound bus when the driver pulled over on the Massachusetts Turnpike, stormed to the back of the bus, dragged some guy out of the bathroom and violently ejected him from the vehicle. He must have been getting high in the john - I think.

The first time I took Greyhound, outside of the Boston station some shady dude offered me $50 to go into a nearby luxury hotel and exchange some foreign currency. I was 18 and actually tried to make the transaction. How dumb was I?

And the Port Authority Bus Terminal in New York....I must say it was always one of the creepiest places I have ever been stranded. Your watch will surely slow down to a crawl in that building, especially late at night.

Those are two bus station residents pictured above.


Anonymous said...

hey its better than indians!

Anonymous said...

You should call the company Aboriginal Airlines, because our clientel consists of blueberry blonds
they like there pepsi and chips! ever sick BO!

Anonymous said...

i must travel to NY with that bus alone tomorrow its my first time travelling alone and i just saw his

CaptiousNut said...

Get there early and get in the line so you can choose your seat.

And sit up front!