Saturday, April 23, 2011

Chess Chronicles - 'Old Coot' Jabroni Annihilation


Readers of this blog already know that sparked by introducing my youngsters the game, that I myself have developed a newfound interest in chess.

I've warred with my 97 year old grandfather.  See - En Passant.

I've avenged my humiliating loss to that 11 year old prodigy.

And I've been studying - if you can call it that - a handful of chess books.

Yesterday I took my incipient confidence down to my old golf course in South Philadelphia and was soundly defeated (3 times) by an 82 year old jabroni. True to his ethnicity, he walloped me with what's known as the Sicilian Defense. Taunts and ball-breaking, well, they sort of go with the territory down there.

CaptiousNut - I'll get you next time.

OldCootJabroni - Haha [uproarious, hyperbolic laughter]

CaptiousNut - I'll study up...

OldCootJabroni - Haha. YOU CAN'T. IT'S TOO LATE. IT'S TOO LATE FOR YOU!

And in a way he's right. I mean it's not 'too late' for me to surpass him in chess competence by any stretch. I'd wager that within a year I can crush him.

But it is true that I needed to start playing chess seriously when I was younger. Y'all should see how easily the game comes to the supple mind of my 6.41 year old son. There's no doubt in my mind that I would have been one heck of a chess player had I devoted even a fraction of the time and energy to it that I put into math competitions.

I insisted that I'd beat him next time and fired back, "YOU STILL HIT A MILLION BALLS ON THE RANGE....GUESS WHAT, IT'S *TOO LATE* FOR YOUR GOLF GAME.  IT'S TOO LATE!"

YouTube is an ambitious auto-didact's best friend:


Given the bounty of free chess videos and instruction on the web these days....the suggestion that someone should *hire a tutor/coach* is ludicrous.

2 comments:

Ladies Room Flight said...

"YOU STILL HIT A MILLION BALLS ON THE RANGE....GUESS WHAT, IT'S *TOO LATE* FOR YOUR GOLF GAME. IT'S TOO LATE!"
That's a great example of why in fact they are a bunch of Jabroni's. I try to hit a bucket of balls down there and eventually they one by one woddle their chain smoking, overweight bodies around me,to share the groundbreaking "tip" that will solve all of my problems. "SHUT UP, ya' Jabroni's!"
Oh and by the way, out of curiosity - is there any connection between this 'Old Coot' and the frustration you shared in your email? (The 10,000 hour reply)

CaptiousNut said...

LRF,

No, no connection that I can see.

Every few months I think about quitting golf. You know well how cruel the game can be!

My abrasive personality has always been a terrific and necessary shield against 2-cents offering Morons.

Hitting balls from the jacody(sp?) on the back of that range has always been where to find peace. PLUS you can aim at choice jabroni's on the other end!