Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Cheap Protein Power

Recall Tim Ferriss got me into early morning protein intake - *30 grams within 30 minutes of waking*...

So I started out with piles of eggs and beans (black or refried). But then I was happy to discover the Lean Shake.

They are a little bit expensive at over $2 per drink....

Yeah, THAT IS EXPENSIVE. I don't need to be spending over $700 a year on breakfast. Cereal and milk is probably a 50-60 cent per day meal.

I go into GNC (the store) and tell the guy, "I want the CHEAPEST protein shake mix you've got."

He steered me to the $70 jar pictured above and asserted that the shakes would be cheaper ($1 each) and better (less sugar). SOLD!

They didn't mix as well as the more expensive brand; they didn't nearly taste as good; but I rationalized these concerns away on account of the price.

Now the dude at the store told me that I needed to drink *multiple shakes* per day if I wanted to benefit. Note there wasn't a muscle on this scrawny Indian kid.

Multiple shakes?

Whatever. I may as well have been pitched by a financial adviser to make monthly mutual fund(!) investments....or an exterminator, "If I don't coming for monthly sprayings....the bugs/rodents will return." What kills me is how they lie so self-unconsciously. I guess they have to believe their own BS to get dressed each morning.

Anyways I was ramping up my shake-intake a little, perhaps to 1.5 a day.

But by Saturday of that first week I was, well, let's just say *on fire*. I would have stopped the shakes sooner but I didn't realize it was in fact these chemo-protein drinks that had me percolating something fierce.

The worst part is a strange lack of dissemination. You rip them without relief because they linger on your person like a cloud. There's just no getting away from your own stench a la Pig Pen!

My wife, not surprisingly(!), told me to trash the rest of the mix and just take the loss.

But I'm too stubborn and too cheap. I went back in last night and BANG, I lit up instantly again only minutes after one little shake.

So it's going to be a long month - in the spare bedroom, with the windows open.

Heck I should have known. If you read the jar it says "EXPLOSIVE amino acid blend" in what I now presume to actually be a legal disclaimer rather than a helpful description.

Only 58 shakes left...


DA said...


I've taken to a lunch mix of a 12.5 ounce can of white meat chicken, a 14 ounce can of sodium-free mixed vegetables, and mustard (for brain-boosting tumeric). 65 grams of protein, veggies, and brain food. That totals $2.98 at my local WalMart.

It's a huge bowl of food but goes down very easily. I feel like a million bucks and am $hitting like a champ.


CaptiousNut said...

Canned chicken?

I know it tastes good. We make that *buffalo chicken* dip that's so amazing.

Everyone tries to substitute real chicken breast for the canned kind....but it just doesn't taste nearly as good.

Will take another look but I had presumed that canned chicken was pretty unhealthy (salt?).

DA said...

The sodium is the downside. I rinse it repeatedly. I should just nuke some bagged breasts instead. Good point.