Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Pissant Newlyweds

Old pal Perry Eidelbus just got married and I am desperately trying to find out where he and his Mail-Order Bride are registered so I can send a proper gift.

But get this. Perry is on his blog announcing to the World Wide Web that he wants "cash" - and "cash is best".

Apparently someone wrote him a check and he cashed it so fast that it bounced. Then he proceeded to complain about it on his blog. What an ingrate!

Well, the check...bounced. They probably didn't expect us to deposit it so quickly. The bank didn't return it to me, so I presume it's being returned to my in-laws. They'll realize what happened, then, although we won't bring it up. They really didn't have to give us anything, and they were too nice to take us to dinner this week anyway.

Money is actually a horrible wedding gift. It's hardly thoughtful. When I was younger I'd just buy a card and insert a check. But over the years I've realized that it's much better to give newlyweds something they will use, enjoy, and/or treasure for a lifetime - like candlestick holders!

Perry's episode actually reminded me of one of my own. About seven years ago we attended the wedding of one of my wife's friends in Vineland, New Jersey. We actually did give cash - about $300 if memory serves me right - though in the form of a CHECK, Perry. The next morning, at the wedding brunch, the bride and groom ran up to us and thanked us profusely for our *generous gift*. We were startled to say the least.

We thought, "What the heck? Did they spend their wedding night opening cards and gifts?????"

It was a *lose an hour* daylight savings night as well!

I could be more specific about the ethnicity of this romantic couple - but I'll let you project your own stereotypy on the anecdote.

If you do go with the candlestick holders....make sure they are Waterford or something.

Other gift ideas would be Bose Noise Cancelling Headphones (haha) or a high-end vacuum from Miele (seriously).

Feel free to do a *chip-in* on these suggestions - particularly the latter one.

UPDATE - Perry has blocked my direct links to his posts. So to get to his blog from here, one must right-click on my links, copy the shortcut, and paste into another browser tab or window. For more on this childish tactic of his - click here.


Anonymous said...

I just loooove my Waterford champagne glasses we got. I have used them at least once in the 4 years since we got married. Awesome. The gifter was the best man and he said the funniest thing after: "Well, you know we can give you money or something off the registry, you know, something you really want. Or we can give you these ugly champagne glasses. Every time you use them for the rest of your lives you will remember who gave them to you."

You know what: He was right!

Slow out.

CaptiousNut said...

The best man shouldn't have to give a gift!

Anonymous said...

OK, it was the best mans nut job evil wife. But he said it to me. I gave him some very fine JW Blue. a little cliche now-but seemed good at the time.