Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Sheeple - Dumping The Dude/Broad


I lived in a freshman dorm all three years of my stay at UPenn.

Why?

Well the upperclass housing options stunk, I had plum jobs in the freshman residence, and....for *socialization tactics*. Infer from that what you may. And note that I've always been making savvy decisions!

I saw it every year so by my third year amongst freshman chicks it was easy to predict.

My floor that year was 80% female - and almost all of them had residual boyfriends from government high school.

Ever the antagonist I laughed and scoffed at all of them. From the first week I flat-out told each and every one of these nerd-girls that by Christmas break they would be dumping the old boyfriend (or getting dumped!).

"Oh,"..giggling..."Don't say that!"

And I continued to razz them all semester long. My favorite time to do so was after midnight, when they were in the hall on an outstretched phone line. I'd whisper, "He's going to dump you," "It's almost ooooover",...

Sure enough, after Kwanzaa break EVERY SINGLE ONE of them was no longer attached!  (Long distance phone bills, which I delivered, became much, much thinner.)

People are indeed SHEEP, living scripted lives.

Not only will they break up with their sweetheart in December of freshman year...

But they will marry whomever it is they are dating at age 28.

They will have kids right away....OR they will get a dog right away.

They will convince themselves that daycare is good *socially* but really it's the bills in mailbox (fancy horseless carriages, large mortgage, etc.) that chose daycare.

They will convince themselves that the schools in their town are *the best*.

And between the ages of 35-40, if not sooner, they will start to really hate their chosen career, their industry will implode, or they will get laid off/fired.

They will pay thousands for tutors and SAT prep for these same kids who attend *the best* schools.

They will fork over all of their home equity to send their kids to college.

Their stomachs will turn with every little blip in the stock market - which holds their retirement hostage.

They will PRAY that their graduates get a job, ANY JOB, that first year out.

And they will PRAY that their kids, at age 28, don't marry the loser they've been slumming with for the past 5 years!!!

My favorite part about the graphic above is the weekly cyclicality, i.e. the *Monday reconsideration*.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Or maybe they'll have reasonably happy lives you miserable little cunt.