Artic-Bound

My youngest cousin is getting married in York, Maine on Saturday. I'm very excited to go up north before the snow hits (next week?).

On my mother's side there were 12 of us cousins. And after this weekend they will essentially all have been married except for one, a forty year old, well-marbled male - who my first wife insists, despite innumerable girlfriends, is a closeted invert. Whatever.

Around age 30 we were in wedding-overload. Many were fun but there were plenty that were brutal - obligatory, boring, in undesirable locales, expensive, etc. Thank God we're finally out of this life stage. There are a few re-marriages on the horizon....but those tend to be, or SHOULD tend to be lower key.

It should be clear sailing once I get over the Throg's Neck Bridge tomorrow morning. It's been painful lately. The GPS says 5.33 hours to York; but it will take us 7 with stops and traffic.

The best part of the trip, sorry Cousin, is that I'm going to play Wentworth By The Sea Country Club with a long-lost buddy on Sunday morning in New Hampshire. This is my fifth private club invitation in the past two months....so why should I ante up and join a club of my own??? Plus I have nearby Bethpage...

Alright I was kidding.  I've very happy for my cousin and excited to see my entire family at what will no doubt be the last family wedding for several years.

Roundtrip to Maine

Portland, Maine to be precise. We drove up halfway on Friday and dropped my kids off with my parents. Then on Saturday we drove up to a wedding at Portland Country Club - one of the girls that used to work for my wife.

The wedding was nice but the 7 hours car trip home today was a little brutal.

AND we'll be spending another 20 hours in the car next week going back and forth to Ohio for that homeschool conference/family vacation.

Despite having vacationed in Maine for much of my juvenile life, I'd never been to Portland before. Is it beautiful? Whatever. Ask somebody from Kansas who's never seen the ocean. And prepare to freeze your butt off!

Supposedly it's renowned for its food. And we actually discovered a Mexican place for lunch - El Rayo - that was absolutely terrific.

On the way home we walked by the most crass bumper sticker either my first wife or I had ever seen:

I mean I've seen men wearing crass T-shirts....but they can wear those to a poker game or NASCAR event with their buddies and be done with it.

But a bumper sticker is effectively a perpetual declaration of said crassness! I mean don't they have to go to a workplace? Don't they ever park their car near friends' kids or younger relatives?

My first hunch was that the car-owner was a sapphist.

However it was confusing to see what looked like a guy in the driver's seat. Though even if it was his car how much of a man could he really be, given the other bumper stickers?

Y'all can Google it. Apparently the expression came from a movie.

More Outdoorsy Stuff

My original plan for this past weekend was to hike Mount Kathadin in Maine.

But it's a 7+ hour drive from my place. Furthermore, someone just told me that their friend went on Labor Day weekend and had to get in line at 3:30 am just to be able to do the hike.

I knew they *limited* the number of hikers each day; and I know that a holiday weekend will be especially crowded....but still, there's no way I'm driving that far up to deal with all that BS. Imagine if they didn't let you on the trail!

So we climbed NH's Mount Madison instead - and it was totally fine.

About six years ago, my wife and I went whitewater rafting up in Maine. We did the so-called Dead River and it didn't live up to either its moniker nor all the precautionary *death talk* from the guides. Later on I learned that one had to instead raft the Penobscot further upstate if they really wanted to get crazy.

This is a lengthy video so just watch a bit. In particular, check out the guy at the 1:20 mark. He looks like he is about to get sucked under and recycled(?) before some hero crash-saves him.



Here's a much, much, more intense video of Penobscot rafting - though there's no sound because the audio track was *unauthorized*:



I've had two kids since I first fancied Penobscot....so I don't think I'll EVER raft that one upon seeing that clip.

See also - Unconscious Morons.

And I just came across two more harrowing river vids - both featuring kayaks:

Gone Camping

Well, sort of.

I am up at Sebago Lake in Maine this week with my family. I apologize for not putting up a notice that posting would be light. Though, I do have internet access and should be back posting a bit now that we are settled.