Branching Out

I'm playing in my first competitive chess tournament next month. It's a big tournament.

And yes, I'm playing in the lowest division (which is high, U1200) alongside my son.

I'm not afraid of having to play him - after all he beats me 50%-60% of the time now.

But I am petrified of embarrassing myself - losing all my games, losing to Asian girls less then 4 feet tall, etc.

In life it's hard to do new things - excuses not to branch out, not to take "risks" can be formidable opponents.

Yeah, this isn't really a RISK or a wild adventure....but I agonized a lot over the decision to sign up.

I know. Pathetic.

Regular People = Blog Material

So early today yesterday I braved 8 degree weather to be first in line for a oil change before my drive down to New York. There I met an interesting fellow.

First, he was trying to secure a *low price* with the mechanic for some front-end work.

Dude - The thing I'm concerned most about is the price, it being the holiday season and all...

Say what?

How are we supposed to interpret this? That he spent all his disposable income on Christmas presents or something?

I'll bet he did.

Does Christmas really qualify as a *financial tragedy*?

I asked my wife if we spent *$100* on each kid this year.

Mrs. C-Nut - No (bleepin') way!

More? No, a whole lot less. They get plenty of junk from others as far as we are concerned. They scarcely even know who Santa is for that matter.

But I remember as a child, some 25-30 years ago, that I believe my parents spent $100 on me and each of my three siblings. So proportionately, and judged for inflation, my working class parents wasted considerably more money each December.

I just don't get why parents extend themselves so much for mostly junk - toys that'll mostly be long-since-forgotten by next year. Christmas IS NOT a secular, commercial holiday - or at least not in its origins.

Okay, moving on...

This dude also told me about his *thrill seeking*.

He said he climbs Mt. Washington 16 times a year....and skis down it! (For those of you unaware, it's a small but nasty peak in New Hampshire - featuring some of the strongest winds on the planet, extremely variable weather, etc.)

And he also said he surfs, but only in really tumultuous weather, in the tail-end of nor'easters and hurricanes or something.

Dude - (leaning over, unblinking, and with his fist clenched) I've just got to get the adrenaline going....Because of my job (law enforcement), I can't do drugs....and when nothing's going on I have to do other things like *cheat on my wife*...

[quick pause]

Dude - Just kidding (without even so much as a smirk).

Egging him on, I didn't blink or react either:

CaptiousNut - Yeah, and you can't just go to Quincy and get a washy-washy....no....you have to, like, sneak out while your wife is in the shower and tag your next-door neighbor.

Dude - YEAH, TOTALLY!

Anyone else want to buy *puts* on his marriage?

Another Abusive, Self-Centered, Malpracticing Parent

He had climbed Mount Everest and Mount McKinley, won the respect of colleagues at the Brigham and Women's Hospital, and was known for his drive for excellence.

On Thursday, Dr. John Mislow and his climbing partner died while scaling Alaska's Mount McKinley after falling about 2,000 feet, the National Park Service said.

Mislow, 39, of Newton, and Dr. Andrew Swanson, 36, of Minneapolis, were roped together when they fell shortly before 2 p.m., the park service said in a statement.

Another climbing team saw them falling between 16,500 feet on the Messner Couloir and its base at 14,500 feet. The Messner Couloir is an hourglass-shaped snow gully with a 40- to 50-degree snow and ice slope that is sometimes used by advanced skiers, the park service said. It is rarely descended or ascended on foot.

Mislow and his wife have two children. "He loved being a dad," said Arthur L. Day, chairman of neurosurgery at Brigham and Women's Hospital.

"He was a terrific person, an inspiration. He had a great work ethic," Day added. "When he was your doctor, you knew he was going to be there with you day or night, completely committed."

Mislow was in the fifth year of a seven-year neurosurgery residency. He had a bachelor's degree from Princeton University and a Ph.D. and medical degree from the University of Chicago.

So, he was committed to his *patients* and his own thrill-seeking *self-amusement*....

....But not at all concerned about parental responsibility!

If you have kids, you're not only a Moron to dangle from 2,000 foot precipices, you're a full-blown jerk.

Full article is here.



Now, I've already touched upon this subject, AND received some caustic feedback, in - Unconscious Morons. Read the comments on that *thrill-seeker*.

And the subject also came up about 1.5 months ago with these married posts: Another Massachusetts Moron and Dumb Kid Versus Wild.

My "Moron Policy"

Single digits here we come! Atta boy, Ken Lewis!

Here's a very long article on Bank of America, with an update on its Merrill Lynch acquisition, which weirdly also offers up an extended biographical sketch of my whipping boy Ken Lewis. It reads, ironically or perhaps presciently, like an epitaph. The article is average at best so you lazy arses don't have to read it!

I just pulled one quote for its comic value:

The deepening U.S. recession is squeezing off Bank of America’s lifeblood: consumer spending. American households probably lost a staggering $7 trillion in net worth in 2008, according to an analysis of Federal Reserve, housing and stock market data by Thomas Lawler, former senior vice president of risk policy at Fannie Mae.

Did y'all get that?

*Risk manager* had to be one of the most ridiculous, most phony job titles in corporate America today.

But how about those crumbs at Fannie Mae!?!?!?

They don't even pretend to *manage* risk.....they merely have a *policy* toward it.

And that *policy* would be.....to ignore it, then to hide it, when caught redefine it, and ultimately to dump it all onto taxpayers!

Unconscious Morons

Some 39 year-old "experienced climber" died on New Hampshire's Mount Washington this Friday. He was climbing Odell's Gully (see above) alone when an avalanche sent him to his death.

In a telephone interview from her home in Memphis, she said her husband did not take excessive risks.

"He was not a thrill-seeker," she said.

Are you kidding me?

He was all by himself; since it was 20 degrees here south of Boston, it had to be zero degrees up on Mount Washington; AND there were 86 mile per hour wind gusts. Furthermore,

According to the US Forest Service, the posted avalanche rating for the gullies in Huntington Ravine on the mountain's east side was "high" on Friday, meaning natural or human-triggered avalanches were likely.

Here's another quote from his delusional widow,

"It's natural to worry," she said. "But it's not any different than a business trip."

Yeah, if your husband is Bear Grylls perhaps it's "not any different". But this guy worked in finance for International Paper.

I don't mean to pile on the bereaved woman but her insinuation that he was not a risk-taker is insane. Regardless of whether or not only 130 people have died on Mount Washington since 1849, climbing that ravine, by yourself, in that weather is simply Moronic. One could easily slip on ice, bang their noggin, and die unceremoniously out in this icy wilderness from simply hiking an innocent trail. I'll bet the reason so few have died climbing the mountain is because MOST people stay away from it during the winter.

It does, however, make it both less tragic and less Moronic that the couple hadn't any children. Could you imagine if they did?

The fact is, so many people underestimate the risks they take in life whether it's tailgating at 75 mph on the highway, buying a house with an adjustable mortgage, or "hiking" Mount Washington in January.

If only they all read my blog. I could learn 'em a thing or two.