Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Dog People = The Worst

So my buddy down here in Naples has a dog poop problem.

His neighbor's mongrels $hit all over the edge of his yard. These aren't small turds either....we're talking Great Danes and there are 5 mutts in total!

He's asked them to clean up....he's complained to the HOA (the neighbor is on *the board*)....he's complained to some Board of Health (they sent out some old lady who loved dogs, apparently)....but nothing has come of it.

Me? Personally I would have been flinging the $hit on their living room window, on their doorstep, all over their cars a long time ago.  Return to sender!

I do think you can probably sue in this case - although the BOH not acting on a complaint will probably be held against my buddy in court.

The only solution now is to Google!

Check this out, it's some animal repeller:

I found one guy online that said that this thing's ultrasonic noises torture the crap(!) out of dogs too. He said that his neighbor's dog instantly kept their distance and duty far from his yard after firing up one of these thingys.

I would say something like this is definitely worth a shot and the money. Unless you are an organic DIY cheapo like me and get your thrills from waging war with jerks.

When I was in 2nd grade one of my classmates told me that his dog went into his neighbor's yard....and the crazy 'old coot' SHOT AND KILLED IT. Poor kid, eh? This was Massachusetts too - not exactly a Wild West sort of Red State.

I wouldn't be surprised if the fossil wasn't fully within his legal rights either. Does anybody know?

One bullet is cheaper than that ultrasonic repeller too...

Another idea I had - on the tip of my tongue too - was to lay out rib-eye steaks laced with poison....what can I say, I'm good at this sort of brainstorming!


Paul Mitchell said...

He needs to start leaving his open containers of anti-freeze near the area. Problem solved.

CaptiousNut said...

I thought for sure you would have voted for the bullet!

Paul Mitchell said...

Too dangerous in a residential neighborhood. It might hit a bone or something and go through a window. Better safe than sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm having difficulty summoning the level of outrage you display here.
Irrespective, in pursuit of a solution:
-1- the neighbor has 5 large dogs? No way they are going to notice if you flip any of the doo-doo back at them. They're probably knee deep in it already.

-2- poisoning the dogs won't help. They'll be replaced, probably with bigger ones.

-3- discharging a firearm inside the city limits will almost surely bring the cops upon YOU. If you miss and hit a human being or damage property your butt will be in a sling for sure. Not recommended.

- some kind of dog repellent is probably the best solution even if it costs a few bucks up front. It will work, there is no danger to life and limb, no legal or moral liability, and your yard will be doo-doo free.
Yes, your neighbors are jerks. You're not going to change them. Use a solution that doesn't expose you to more serious liabilities.