Monday, May 14, 2012

'Old Coots' Versus SmartPhones - A Drubbing!


My mother recently told me that she and my father were going to get iPhones!

Son - Why? Are you going to get email and the internet on them?

BiologicalMother - No.

Son - Well then why are you going to get an iPhone? That's what they are for. Almost useless otherwise.

Okay, so then this weekend I saw them again AND they were equipped with iPhones.

Son - Did you get the internet on Dad's phone?

(Dad barely uses email!)

BiologicalMother - No.

BiologicalMother - I mean yes.

Son - You know it's 30 bucks a month, right?

BiologicalMother - The second phone is *included*, it's a family plan.

Son- No it's not. You have Verizon, right?

BiologicalMother - Yeah.

Son - It's $30 per month, per phone for data.

BiologicalMother - My sister said it was all included.

Son - Yeah, for $30 a month, per phone, it's INCLUDED. Is your sister getting a sales commission?

BiologicalMother - (silence)

Son - How much is your bill going to be?

BiologicalMother - $123 (?)

Son - There it is, $60 for two data lines....and $60 for phone calls. THAT'S YOUR FAMILY PLAN.

Son - You're paying $360 this year for Dad to have email and internet access...

BiologicalMother - Well if he doesn't use it, we'll just cancel it.

Son - NO. You can't. You signed a two year contract. You are committed to paying $720 for him to have functions on his phone THAT HE WILL NEVER USE.

The best is how my father whispered to me, multiple times that he didn't understand just about anything on the phone....as if I had no idea!

To mess with him, right now I'm going to text him! This works on 75% of fossils...

iPhones....what a great idea for 'old coots'!

I wonder who has their's stolen or lost first, and has to shell out for a new *unsubsidized* smartphone, Mom or Dad?

There were so many more angles to this that I didn't convey.

For example, my mother thought that if she wanted a data plan....that my father had to have one too. That's wrong of course. My wife has a clamshell phone and I have a Droid with data through Verizon.

Also, my mother said she wanted my father to have some mobile access to his email mind you this is all *rationalization*. So I informed her that she could set up his account on her phone too and it would be fine because they are together most of the time. (I myself have 4 Gmail accounts set up on my phone - my two and each of my kids' accounts.)

But the gist, to go back to the beginning, was that they decided to get iPhones not knowing really that such an acquisition implied a lot more money for something they didn't really need. So instead of scrapping the iPhone idea they bought them AND at least one extra data plan.

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