Before SHE Cheats

Another celebrity divorce. I'm shocked!

In these cases it's rather easy to assume that the dude's unfaithfulness was the cause of the breakup.

But with the prospect of a huge *departing bonus* and the freedom to do whatever with whomever they want....I bet more of these divorces are initiated by the wife than most people think.

Back in 2005('04?) when I was living in Charlotte, NC I delivered one of my personally most memorable jokes.

The color TV was on at the bar and it was broadcasting the story of how a married Kobe Bryant allegedly raped that girl in Colorado.

I stately rather loudly, and with my trademark credibility:

"...That's BAD LUCK. The ONE TIME Kobe cheats on his wife he ended up getting caught..."

Taking the bait, some young lady near me went ape$hit over my remark.

PuddyInMyHandsChick - YEAH.  RIGHT.  THE ONE TIME HE CHEATED!

And then she stormed out of the bar in a huff.

I can only presume that she was a female chauvinist pig - if not a racist.

(BTW, there is a comedy routine on YouTube that shares the title of this post and parodies the Carrie Underwood song. But it was a little too raunchy for me to embed or link to.)

For The Kids, Really?

Y'all can read that as-advertised article about yet another self-help parenting book for yourselves. Surely everyone knows at least someone who fits that bill.

The problem, as I see it, goes beyond the raising of the children.

Parents, spouses, who focus too much on their children, who don't communicate and continue to grow as a couple....when the kids leave they find they've grown apart and can't fill the void of an empty nest. Divorce is more than inevitable.

On the flip side you have those in horrible marriages who are well aware they are merely holding on for the sake of the kids. Those who are looking forward to spousal separation as much as they are to the empty nest!



My wife and I have this philosophical debate all the time. She thinks parents should stick it out almost no matter what. I'm a little more skeptical and think plenty of bad things flow from a sham marriage.

Is It Wrong To Laugh At A Divorce?

Getting divorced, huh? Yeah, what a surprise for that swivel-head Chris Evert!

From my prior post - Greg Norman - The Way Of The Shark:

Now the last subject on Greg Norman that I want to address is on the gossipy side - his personal life.

Almost thirty years ago he hit on a flight stewardess (how cliché!). They wed and had two kids. In the photo section of his book there are pics of his son and his daughter, but none of his oft-discussed wife. Right there I knew something was afoot. Throughout his autobiography, the way Greg was running all over the world chasing dollars I couldn't help but see a parallel to General Electric's Jack Welch. What kind of marriage and family life is possible when Dad is always elsewhere? Not a very pleasant or enduring one in my vicarious experience. Welch incidentally has been thrice married. Many athletes retire so they can spend more time with their family but Greg simply replaced one all-consuming passion (golf) with another (business). Seemingly, even when Greg wasn't building golf courses he was off on extended hunting and fishing trips. Most normal guys who merely hit the bar on the way home (for french fries) get an earful from their wives. Highly ambitious men and women simply aren't conducive to family life. They and their spouses simply grow apart.

My hunch was confirmed way back on page 291 where Greg mentioned his impending divorce from Laura, his flight stewardess wife of 25 years. It turns out, Greg was bopping his neighbor, tennis legend Chris Evert who's now 54 (pictured above). Chris was married too so a couple of marriages were ruined from this sordid affair. As of this post, Greg and his new love interest are supposedly engaged.

Now I don't know why any guy would marry Chris Evert with her record. Sure she was married to current husband Andy Mills for quite some time (by celebrity standards) but she was a "player" on and off the tennis court for decades. Her little black book is quite extensive: Jimmy Conners, Burt Reynolds, Geraldo Rivera, Adam Faith, Vitas Gerulaitis, Pat Boone, and John Gardner "Jack" Ford, son of U.S. President Gerald Ford. Then she married and divorced tennis pro John Lloyd before marrying skier Andy Mills the latest cuckold.

I guess one of the most prescient acts of the past century was Chris Evert keeping her maiden name upon marrying John Lloyd. Otherwise she'd be now known as "Chris Evert Lloyd Mills Norman"!!!

And wasn't it just over a year ago that everyone, i.e. Big Media, was saying how positive of an influence Greg's new bride (Chris Evert) was? Implying that somehow this coupling helped Greg almost win the British Open at the age of 53? See the beginning of this post.

Now that I think about it, I probably laughed when that first legal invert marriage fell apart as well...

Economic Transactions Masquerading As Love Marriages

I generally don't like to do this, but here I'm just going to link to an interesting column penned by a woman whose fiancée is trying to get her to sign a pre-nup - Will You Marry Me.

I think most of us marry within our *socio-economic tribe* so even if one half of a marriage brings a bit more financially to the table, the amount usually isn't too problematic.

But there are plenty of instances of trust-funded wealthy people marrying below their station. And in those cases the pre-nup idea most often comes from the *parents*. Think about it, if one is Moronic enough to marry down....then in all likelihood they are too clueless to think about *asset protection*.

Okay, that last line was a jest.

Now read this article - The Chilling Effect Of State's Divorce Laws - for some horror stories on alimony.

Though I haven't researched it much, I'll be that if I did, I'd come down against state-sanctioned marriage for both verts and inverts.

For the record, I'd never sign a pre-nup - not even if I was marrying Bill Gates' daughter.

Yeah, my ego is that big and my brain that small.