Armed 'Old Coot' Versus Dervish Hoods

My Identity....In High Demand!

They did it again!

I got a phone call Saturday afternoon from my credit card company to confirm purchases made somewhere in New Jersey: $240 at Gap Kids, $200 at Champs, etc.

Of course I haven't spent that much money on clothes, collectively, in a couple years.

Obviously someone had my credit card, at least a facsimile thereof, and was on a shopping spree.

Note this is about the third time in the past couple years that we've had this type of fraud on our account. It's the third time we've had to cut up our credit card....and then go and change our account # on a bazillion recurring bills.

And recall there's that guy down in Orlando that tried to take out a mortgage or something in my name.

Champs, the sports store? Gap Kids??? Those aren't exactly places to buy things which can be re-sold for cash.

Draw your own conclusions...

Stealing The American Dream

Hah!

A buddy/old-neighbor of mine up on Boston's South Shore just sent this to me...

Looking at the picture and the headline I thought for a split-second that it was my old a$$hole landlord!

But then I saw that it was in Maryland; and that it was ONLY $1 million worth of delinquency.

My landlord, as far as I know, still has 3-4 properties that totaled over $4 million in *non-performing* debt.

And he stopped paying everything, 4.5 years ago...

One quick excerpt:

"How is it people can stay in a house for five years without ever making a mortgage payment?” said Thomas A. Lawler, a former senior vice president at Fannie Mae who now runs his own consulting firm in Loudoun County. “That’s a screwed-up process. It’s an example of how the process is broken."

Can you believe this effin' guy quoted in the article???!!!

HE WORKED FOR FANNIE MAE - WHERE IT WAS THEIR POLICY TO NOT EVEN LIST A LOAN AS 'DELINQUENT' UNTIL IT WAS 2 FULL YEARS IN DEFAULT.

Fannie, his company, loses hundreds of billions, he goes out scott-free to run his own *consultancy*....and then waxes outraged at his own former boondoggle!

Bad Samaritans

Kid is mugged....others act like they are helping him out...

Then they pick his backpack clean!

Indian 'Takers'

Yet another profoundly hilarious title by moi.

Oh, how I crack myself up...

YOU Should Get Off The Phone

From the AP:

WASHINGTON (AP) -- For all the criticism and new legal bans, texting by drivers just keeps increasing, especially among younger motorists.

Most said they would answer a cellphone call while driving and continue to drive after answering. And nearly two of 10 acknowledged sending texts or emails from behind the wheel. That spiked up to half of drivers 21 to 24 years old.

More than half of drivers said making a cellphone call made no difference to their driving performance, and a quarter said texting or emailing made no difference. But 90 percent said that when they are passengers they feel very unsafe if the driver is texting or emailing.

I love it. They all think it's dangerous only when SOMEONE ELSE is texting/calling!

It's like how everyone hates Congress but continues to re-elect their representatives.

I'm a big advocate of heavy fines for roadway cordless cellphone usage.

BUT, these cops need to have a digital pic/video of you in order to issue a citation.

It's ridiculous that you can grab a candy bar or bend over and touch your shoes and some quota-bent cop can write you a $180 ticket for what they think is in-car phone use. You have ZERO recourse - at least here in New York - unless you want to miss an entire day of work and try to argue your defense with a judge.

Digital camera's would/should cost the police almost nothing. (Though I'm sure they'd find a way to spend $5,000 on each one!)

And it is my opinion that these dumb kids are texting, not simply because they are self-absorbed Morons....but probably more so because they are freakin' addicted to the devices.

Eligible Voter?

Hah!

Even though he got the money....El Morón ended up getting pounded, shot himself in the foot, AND got arrested.

Now who thinks this guy, A CONVICTED FELON should be able to vote?

The largest civil rights group in America, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), is petitioning the UN over what it sees as a concerted efforted to disenfranchise black and Latino voters ahead of next year's presidential election.


The NAACP says voting rights are being whittled down at every stage of the electoral process. First of all, the registration of new voters is being impeded in several states by moves to block voter registration drives that have historically proved to be an important way of bringing black and Hispanic people to the poll.


Four states – Florida, Iowa, Kentucky and Virginia – continue to withhold the vote from anyone convicted of a criminal offence. In Florida, offenders who have completed their sentences have to wait at least five years before they can even apply to restore their right to register to vote.


Across the US, more than 5 million Americans are denied the right to vote on grounds that they were convicted of a felony, 4 million of whom have fully completed their sentence and almost half of whom are black or Hispanic.

First of all, no matter what these race-baiters say....there's simply NO WAY that convicted felons in America are actually concerned with voting.

Regardless, I submit that not only should convicted felons be permanently disenfranchised...

I submit that instead of incarcerating them at taxpayer expense - we should BANISH them from America.

Drop them off in Ethiopia or Siberia. Pay the corruptocrats there a pittance for permission to do so.

We need to drop the ridiculous and failed idea of collective rehabilitation. After all, all education is SELF-EDUCATION. Let them ruminate upon their misdeeds among other savages far away from civilization!

I'm serious too. I got to thinking about *banishment* studying the Pilgrims with my kids recently.

I Use An Eye-Dropper...

I can't recall if I've ever blogged on this scam before...

But *concentrated* laundry detergent has got to be one of the biggest little rip-offs out there.

Every time someone over-fills the cap it's cha-ching, money in the bank for Big Laundry - sort of like every time a Vegas tourist hits with the dealer showing a 5 or 6.

And I'd wager that there are still plenty of 'old coots' out there filling the cap all the way up!

Fries With That?

Did y'all see this?

Call me cold....but these girls just about deserved it.

Regularly I remark to random earthlings about *fast food violence* these days...

And most of the time the Morons have no idea what I'm talking about.

"Don't you see all these videos of vicious fighting, riots, and beatdowns on the web?"

Nope, they haven't.

And I reminded that despite the liberated info/news on the internet, there are still millions of people living in narrow-band world of Big Media.

As far as I'm concerned they are *martians*!

Jammed In The Keyster

My wife called a locksmith to install a deadbolt today.

The guy charged her $400!!!

I am not happy at all - to put it mildly.

Every tradesman charges women more, especially in New York.

Of course she's supposed to consult her husband...

What do y'all think a deadbolt should cost???

I'm thinking $150, max - and that's assuming he gave us a decent lock. ("MaxTech"?)

Will Now Have To Ask For Directions

Someone broke into my car last night and stole the GPS out of the compartment thingy.

They must have jimmied the door open OR somehow gone in through the trunk windshield. Tonight, when taking my golf clubs out for safekeeping, I noticed that one of the wires that attaches to the rear defrost mechanism was broken off. So perhaps they pried that open, crawled in - kicking off a wire(?), and then exited out the driver's side door.

This was bound to happen. I've heard that in NYC anyone with those circles from the suction cups on their windshield gets their car broken into for their GPS. This is what pisses me off - that I was lazy and never got around to regularly washing those conspicuous marks off.

But heck, we're in a gated community down in Naples with only 16 units here. Someone either jumped the fence or a contractor with knowledge of the code came back for a $40(?) propina. The key code to enter here is simply the numerical address of the building. No doubt whoever the 'old coot' on the HOA board is who set that up....I'd wager that they not only use AOL for their email, but also that their password is *password*!

I'm just about 100% sure that I did lock the car last night - y'all might not believe how anal I am with that habit. But I'm going to do a little detective work nonetheless. From the web:

If they used a slim jim, they probably damaged the weather strip at the lower edge of the door glass.

If they went through the door frame, they damaged the door-to-body weather strip.

If the pried the door frame out, usually the upper rear corner, they may have actually bent the door.

I'm also going to keep my eye on Craigslist. A guy in the condoplex told me today that someone once jacked his scooter out of here but he tracked the crook down because the Moron tried to sell it on Craigslist!

I'm not going to replace the GPS - I don't think.

I'll probably just have to use my Droid phone for navigation. I wonder if there's a dock/charger that doesn't break the bank AND doesn't advertise itself to thieves...

An App For Mugging?

They say that people are getting mugged for their cordless *smart*-phones in cities.

They are also likely to be targeted by thieves in a smartphone crime wave fuelled by the enormous appetite for the machines that serve as status symbols, essential worktools and mobile entertainment centres.

The Paris police chief sounded the alarm last week when he said smartphones were the hottest item for thieves on the city's metro and that robbers were increasingly turning to violence to get their hands on them.

In Britain, a 30-strong National Mobile Phone Crime Unit is battling what a police spokesman said is "a general increase in the proportion of thefts which involve smartphones."

Susana Ramirez, a 29-year-old author and newspaper columnist in the Spanish city Barcelona, told AFP that a blog she wrote about her fear of using her iPhone in public sparked a huge response from her readers.

"I look to the right and to the left before I get out my phone," she wrote in the blog. "As if, instead of a phone, I was about to take out a knife or a stash of drugs on the street."

In New York, public announcements warn subway commuters not to display phones or other electronic devices.

Wraith noted that Britain and many other countries had systems in place that render stolen phones useless by blocking them from national networks by using the handset's unique International Mobile Equipment Identity number.

But that has led to stolen phones being shipped abroad for sale in places like eastern Europe, Algeria, Morocco, or West Africa, where an iPhone can fetch several hundred dollars and up to 1,000 if it contains data that can be exploited for credit card or other fraud, he said.

This has just got to be one of those crimes I almost condone!

Read a book on the train. Or carry a notebook and WRITE something, anything(!), down - that's what I do.

Are YOU addicted?

The Moronic Pols Of Yesteryear

These are, allegedly, some of the dumb laws still on the books here in New York:

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing".

Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun.

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

New Yorkers cannot dissolve a marriage for irreconcilable differences, unless they both agree to it.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM.

My favorite is *agreeing to....irreconcilable differences*!

Go to DumbLaws.com and investigate your own state.

And They All Want My Body, Too!

They got me again!

I just received a phone call from Bank of America - a fraud alert on my credit card.

Someone tried to spent over $1,000 on it at a Walgreens in Queens last night.  And somehow I sincerly doubt the criminal looked like the lady above.  Just saying...

Neither my wife nor I lost our card so they must have had a counterfeit one made up.

This is the second time this year our card has been co-opted by thieves.

AND recall also that a few months ago I discovered someone co-opting my identity down in Orlando.

Dumb, Dumber, And Death

I'm not sure which one got killed, but the Moron who initially went for the unarmed apprehension is responsible/

If you're going to go for the gun, you'd better freakin' get it or at least be sure you can immobilize the guy via a nut-punch, eye-poke, or something.

Obviously, you can't just go straight at him - you have to wait for him to look the other way, bend over, or for him to blink.

A case could be made for the Moron who let him in the building too.

See also - What We All Would Like To Do.

Marginalizing Ice Cream Truck Drivers

Fast forward to the 2:00 mark and see witness two ice cream truckers come to blows over a *regional marketing* dispute:



Not for nothin' but...

These ice cream guys are SOBs.

I had one such guy in Hingham, MA last year, an Arab, actually ASK me for a tip. He held out a tip jar and literally said, "Hey buddy, how about a tip?"

But my disdain for them was born years ago, before I was even married. In Brooklyn, we used to hear the ice cream truck music ALL THE TIME. These greedy capitalists would blast their trademark tunes all day long, everywhere they went. They certainly didn't care one iota about their incessant noise pollution.

My (future first) wife and I heard on the news years ago about an ice cream truck guy who was murdered with a hatchet in Queens. We both waxed sympathetic - FOR THE ASSAILANT!

And then you have the story of some crazy Albanian ice cream truck drivin' family in Nevada:

LAS VEGAS (AP) - Testimony resumed Friday before a Clark County
coroner's jury considering whether Henderson police were justified
killing a mother of three in a chaotic scene after her husband was
stopped for traffic violations in an ice cream truck.

Witnesses differed Thursday in descriptions of whether 42-year-old Deshira Selimaj had a knife and threatened two of her children and police before she was killed Feb. 12 near Coronado High School.

One woman who passed the scene said Selimaj "unequivocally had
a knife," and said she had had no idea there would be a dispute about that.

Selimaj's husband, Zyber Selimaj, 65, testifying with an Albanian language translator, insisted his wife had no knife.

He later bowed his head as he and the 10-person jury listened to
recordings of police interviews with his 12-year-old and 5-year-old
sons.

The boys arrived with their mother in her ice cream truck after she talked by telephone with a distraught Zyber Selimaj. He had been stopped by Henderson Police Officer Patrick Gilmore, but refused to sign a ticket Gilmore was trying to give him for speeding and running a stop sign in his ice cream truck. Selimaj said it was the second ticket he received that day.

Now check out this additional piece of evidence supporting my contention that ice cream dudes are lunatics:



Hey, at least the guy beeped, right?

Where Did That Evidence Go?

See if y'all can spot it!

The Punishment Sheathes The Crime!

This is one *feisty* self-defense product.

And beyond the Third World, I expect it to find a market in places like Cambridge, Massachusetts.

A Diversified Attack, On Scum

I found out that my scumbag landlord has scored himself a job, sort of.

So today I contacted his new employer and had a nice 10 minute discussion with him. Items of discussion included: integrity, debt, bankruptcy, fraud, lying, etc.

His new employer was very interested in the discrepancies between what he had thought about my landlord, and what I had just informed him of!

Next I called a State *loan regulator* with whom I wanted to discuss what might be *illegal* self-advertising on the part my landlord. I didn't get through today but will try again later this week.

Then I issued a formal letter of complaint to my local housing authority about some *ordinance violations* by my landlord. A formal letter requires a formal response - which can be appealed and publicized. (I've done a fair amount of leg-work on this one. And it's additional to my already filed Board of Health complaints.)

After that I contacted the office of the bankruptcy judge who is presiding over my landlord's appeal for a *clean financial slate*. I was told they have considerable discretion in meting out leniency. And I was told to write to the judge and convey the whole story of my landlord's theft/crime/fraud/harassment. Except the woman there (a clerk) essentially blew me off. She told me to go bother the *trustee*. So I did.

I called him up and discussed a couple of *misrepresentations* that I found on my landlord's bankruptcy petition. Though the petition is written under an explicit penalty of perjury, the trustee wasn't very receptive to my Captious input. He shrugged his shoulders and half-scoffed that he handles 600 cases a year. But he did tell me precisely the type of evidence he was looking for. So I'll see what I can do.

Now the C-Nut family is moving on and out of this rat-infested house very soon. So why should I care about this clown?

I'll tell you why - BECAUSE no one else does. BECAUSE that's what he's banking on. He sticks his elbows out, screams loudly, and the invertebrates back off.

Most everyone I've contacted about him (banks, utilities, law enforcement, etc.) has stiff-armed me. They simply don't care. They are large bureaucratic entities funded by third party pools of money.

I really enjoy being the ONLY ONE who cares as it sets me apart, as it elevates me into the saddle of a high white horse.

Understand that my landlord does everything in his power to game the system.

So I'm going to match him and do whatever I can think of to see that he loses!

Like a dabbling entrepreneur....I only have to be right but once.

Guess what his new job is?

He's become a *loan originator* for a distressed debt fund!

So he went from pushing toxic loans on minorities in Dorchester, Brockton, and Worcester...

And personally stealing millions from banks with unsecured HELOCs....

To now being essentially a vulture of the very toxic, now-defaulted loans that he helped proliferate (and profit from) in the first place!!!

He may be only one guy in Boston and perhaps couldn't even get a job as a boot-black in Lower Manhattan...

But his career path is nearly a microcosm of what happened on Wall Street these past several years. They trafficked in junk the entire the way up, and will on the entire way down.

Unmasking Criminal Morons

How hard will it be to find this criminal, with his conspicuous *M&M* jacket?

Another gaffe:

Police also believe a communication slip during the robbery revealed the masked man in the black ski mask is named "Jason."

Hah! I give these two clowns weeks before they are rounded up.

And, not for nothing, but the one above looks like my deadbeat landlord!