Awesome Fossil!

Watch the whole thing:

Old School - Breakin' Em In

It says, *I will not hit my sister in the face.*

After some thoughtful, chuckling deliberation I decided to make my son, the 6.32 year old Prince write that out on two sides of legal paper.

Admittedly, I did crack myself up - justifying the masochism by the fact that he not only really shouldn't be whopping his (deserving!) sister in the face, but also by the reality that he really needs the handwriting practice.

I vividly remember my father making me *write* for punishment. My depraved aunt did as well.

And I had a teacher in 4th grade - a crazy, lazy Armenian "Mr. Ellion"(sp?) - who sentenced misbehaving students to write, well, about every 10 minutes or so. Usually it was *2 pages, both sides* but occasionally he'd erupt to 3 or 4 pages, both sides. He made you write *I will not...* whatever it was you were doing at the time.

Once, now we're talking 1983-1984, he waddled into the classroom and a racial minority was doing the centipede on the radiator. Caught, Mike Burrell had to write *I will not do the centipede on the radiator in Mr. Ellion's classroom ever again.* on a cruel 4 pages of paper, both sides.

That was called *breakdancing*, you Moronic children (and forgetful-'old coots')!

Anyways, my son keeps walloping his sister in the face. Just the other day, he bloodied her lip up good in the middle of a pizza joint.

He doesn't have to tell me as I well know how FREAKIN' ANNOYING she can be.

But he's got to learn to pound her on her arm - charlie-horse style. That's what I used to do. I used to pound my sisters on their upper arm with a full punch. Anything near the face and my biological father would kill me.

I'm so exasperated with my son's incorrigible face-hitting that I'm contemplating teaching him my method from way back when.

We're not there yet though; next time he'll have to do four pages, both sides, and we'll see if that is effective.

Here's a better video:

Rereading this post I found an error - I was actually the racial minority in that school!

Indian Dervish

Hah! Talk about uninhibited!

To see a classier Indian affair - click here.

Impressive Dancing

Jump ahead to the 2:10 mark...



That really gets me thinking.

I should learn how to dance like these dudes, get a time machine, and transport myself back to the 50s(?) where I'll no doubt be able to pick up tons of chicks...

Inverts Can Really Groove

Check out this clip from that popular dance competition show. I had never seen that particular program before and decided to tape it on a whim. It's not my flava of music by any stretch but the performance was impressive. Turn your speakers on - just not too loud.

Saturday Night Nostalgia

The other day was the first time I ever watched this supposedly famous guy:



Shoot, the guy can dance!

Why have I never seen this 'old coot' icon before?

Well, YouTube is relatively new and my curiosity had been non-existent, I guess.

Also, from Wikipedia:

Clips showing Astaire's filmed dances are rarely shown in public today, although they have recently featured in films such as The Green Mile and, more controversially [1], in 1997 Dirt Devil commercials. Astaire always retained the sole rights to film clips of his dances and after his death, these rights - which are essentially rights of publicity - passed to his widow Robyn Smith Astaire - who charges a fee schedule for the airing of these clips that some program producers consider uneconomic. Mrs. Astaire has contended that the license fees are moderate and are used to help fund litigation to defend against copyright infringement of her late husband's estate.

In recent years, following the issuance of most of Astaire's films on DVD and the advent of sites such as Youtube which feature many of his most famous dance clips, the public is becoming increasingly exposed to his work.

I think this one with 'old bag' Ginger Rogers is even better - particularly the ending:

So, They Think They Can Dance

I posted one similar before. But I think I like this one better.

Pretty cute girl for that guy, eh?

Obviously he has what my wife charitably refers to as *fat-guy-personality*!

And it begs the question, or long-running debate in my household:

What do we see more of in terms of odd marriages?

Hot chicks settling for ugly dudes?

Or handsome men settling for unattractive women?

I'm not so sure anymore. What I'm witnessing now, in my mid-30s age group, is that men and women do undergo major changes in *attractiveness* over time.

The chunk-a-do dancing above may seem to have married up at the moment...

But in a few years, perhaps the cutie goes downhill after a kid or two....perhaps the dude starts eating Subway sandwiches, discovers yoga or BootyBallet, maybe even goes on to win a reality show, getting their 100k *extreme makeover*, etc....

And then he decides to flick away his once perky bride like a fingertip booger!

Society Rests Upon Her Breath?

Dancing, is practiced in order to see whether lovers are healthy and suitable for one another; at the end of a dance the gentleman is permitted to kiss his mistress, in order that he may ascertain if she has agreeable breath. In the manner...dancing becomes necessary for the good government of society. (Jehan Tabourot)

I love it!

Go to some club; grind with some floozy, then, when the song ends, tell her she needs to kiss you both as an incumbent breath test AND for the good of society.

It's a darned shame that I am only learning these fail-safe techniques AFTER I got hitched. There's plenty of wisdom in these ancient adages and strategies: "get a good look at her mother", choose a tergo (link), etc.

But getting back to the halitosis theme - I do have friends who've dumped girls because of disagreeable odor emanation (from nooks and crannies additional to the mouth). And no doubt many of my buddies were themselves dumped on account of their hygienic negligence. In fact, a girl that worked with my wife was shocked when her fiancee moved in. She discovered that he didn't EVER change his boxers. He took them off at shower-time, bathed, dried off, and put the same exact pair back on. He reasoned that he was always clean when he put them on so the boxers must retain that integrity. (They did make it to the altar.)

It's probably a tautology, but my buddies who are still single in their mid-thirties, they have always been the most superficial. They are the ones unshakably hung up on the issues of breath and breadth.

Happy hunting.