Living In A HeadBook World...

So last Easter weekend a cousin of mine exuberantly their engagement (no, not that one, he's *unpairable*) ....by changing their status on FaceBook.com!

Some of the older set in the family were taken aback, remarking indignantly "I hope she told her mother first!"

Whatever. While I'm against HeadBook in all its aspects, I'm also against 'old coot' Luddites.

Plus, the couple was already living in sin, co-owned co-borrowed a condo, and was raising a wretched puppy I think. So it wasn't so much an *announcement* as it was an expected formality. As my 96.43 year old grandfather commented in his thick Polish accent, "I don't approve how she live with guy [sic]..."

But I'll tell you what - if they use Evite.com exclusively for the wedding reception....it'll most likely be a pretty YOUNG and hence FUN one to attend!

OldCoot@AOL.com

Remember these? They used to keep showing up in our mailboxes:



And guess what....it's up to AOL 12.0 now!

Actually, it could be higher; at least that's the version I saw running on my MIL's computer over Christmas. I submit that as far as technology is concerned, one should never utilize ANYTHING that's in it's 12th iteration.

It is somewhat incredible, that no surer *age test* exists at the moment. If someone has an AOL email address....then they are most certainly over the age of 60!

Because, of course, if they change to gmail or yahoo....their friends will NEVER, EVER be able to find them with the latest forward from the *FALSE* file at snopes.com.

So my cousin was valiantly trying to de-clutter her mother's (my aunt's) house a couple of years ago.

Cousin - Did you know my mom has piles of *100 Free Hours* AOL disks that came in the mail? She was saving them for years, thinking they must have been worth something - I guess.

That reminds me, I haven't heard from my dear aunt in quite some time. Either her computer is acting up (again!) on account of viruses, spam, and cheapness....or, perhaps she just hasn't made it to the public library. Because, as y'all know, the 'olds', both 'coots' and 'bags', go there to *check email*.

Watermarks Of The Jurassic

Nice pic of my kids, huh?

My mother just emailed it over. Oh, did some of you guess that?

Yeah, the *burned-in date* is a dead giveaway, right?

Tell me something, why, WHY DO THEY ALL DO THAT?

Why do fossils all, for some reason, rig their cameras to ruin EVERY pic with fluorescent, DOS-like fonted *dates*???

It's just got to be because....when they go through their albums today, they can't remember anything about the old photos they have. They don't know when or where pictures were taken; and they often can't even tell you which baby/toddler is which!

What kills me is that these 'old coots' and 'old bags' can't do ANYTHING technological. Heck, their VCRs all still flash 12:00 and their car clocks are off by an hour for half the year. But, by some fluke, they unanimously figured out how to ruin digital photos with unnecessary data.

AND, they all have their cameras set on ridiculously high pixel counts.

Then they try to attach like 10 of them in a single email....which invariably gets bounced back because of excessive size. Then jurassic techno-frustration rears its head....

And they call one of us thinking they have a *virus* - which many of them do get because they click on tantalizing *win $1,000* pop up ads and the like!

The clincher is that high resolution shots are only needed if someone is planning on printing out the photo.

But who really wants a framed picture with the date burned in?!

A Stupid Funny

My MIL sent me that one.

A lesser Luddite might have juxtaposed the sexes.

Hey, at least she's, as 'old coots' would say, *on-line*.

'Old Bag' Levity

Boston Globe Luddites

So, the other day, Barry Ritholz was self-stroking over the fact that the Boston Globe mentioned his site as an *influential finance/economics blog*.

And I Captiously offered up this comment:


Click to enlarge if necessary.

Well some potty-mouthed broad, who apparently lives in Texas, took offense to that factual statement of mine. See this comment thread.

Why would someone in Texas be defending the Boston Globe? Heck, why would anyone feel compelled to defend a newspaper or its readership?

Moving on.

Yesterday I got this email from my Luddite cousin:

C-Nut, I'm a little too analog here.
1. what is the address for the family blog
2. how do i get this pic [URL given] as a jpeg so i can upload it to shutterfly

Thanks
[XXXX]

Now mind you, this has to be at least the fifth time he's asked me for our family blog's URL. Note that he also didn't know how to right click on an image, *save it to disk*, and then upload it to a website.

AND, mind y'all, this cousin of mine is not only a practicing doctor, he's also only 36 years old!

With such premature techno-illiteracy, he's what I refer to as a *young old guy*.

Anyone under the age of 40 (in 2008) should at least be able to handle the fundamentals of computing. You know, bookmarking links, knowing how to google for forgotten sites, etc. At the young age of 36, his incompetency borders on the mindboggling. I wouldn't be shocked if he still paid extra to keep his AOL email address like all the other 'old coots' and 'old bags'!

By the way, my cousin, is an avid Boston Globe reader.

Do I even have to describe the *much older* generation of Massholes and the extent of their techno-illiteracy? They can't even get the cable box and television in simultaneous "on" and "off" positions.

So when I allege that Boston Globe readers can't open a browser....I ain't talking out of my bum.

Sliding Out-Of-Touch

I've identified three things on which I have become potentially, irrationally out-of-touch:

1) Facebook

2) iPods and their accessories.

3) GPS for the car.

I am afraid of doing Facebook because I don't want anyone to know that I have no *friends*.

The iPod is the one I am most likely to break down on. I thoroughly enjoyed my brother-in-law's this weekend. He had it docked(?) into a Bose stereo and we brought it out to our nighttime campfire and cigar session. Have to admit it was pretty cool - though his ancient music sucked. I had never heard of Little Feat before. Nor do I care much for The Grateful Dead.

GPS has been demanded by the wife. I don't need it. I enjoy mapping out destinations and getting the full visual on surrounding areas. GPS could be good, however, for unplanned excursions or for emergencies. Maybe I'll get if for her for Christmas, 2010.