Death Of A Vegetarian...

And I'm not talking about the deer either.

That's my nephew above with an animal he recently offed, for sport, with a rifle.

If only I had the video footage from about six months ago...

We were out at the family summer house when the 15 year old chauvinistically declared to me, my first wife (his aunt), and his grandmother that he was now a *vegetarian*.

We couldn't even bring ourselves to react. I mean he's a typical teenager who sleeps until 2pm and doesn't exactly fetch water or in any way contribute to the family. So how exactly was he going to execute his new eating plans? He either has to eat what's put in front of him, what's found in the refrigerator, or starve.

Several hours went by, or perhaps it was the next day still at the summer house....and I don't know what precipitated it, but from afar I heard my nephew exclaim, "FINE, I'LL JUST EAT MEAT!"

We all got a nice chuckle out of this upstart moral crusader's endurance.

And now not only is he out there murdering deer, I believe that hunting weekend he also nibbled on a black bear's heart (that someone else shot).

Not for anything, but there were plenty of fruits, veggies, and non-meat items the kid could have eaten back at the summer house.

Of course, he would have had to get up off his duff and prepare them for himself if he wanted to stick to his diet.

Take That, You Vegan Animal-Idolaters!

Check it out - my BIL just showed me the head of a deer in his trunk.

He slew it this weekend in the Catskills with a bow and arrow from a tree stand.

Be grateful I told you the story instead of him...

Because my BIL's version was a full 25 bleepin' minutes. There's simply no speeding him up - questions and other interjectional ruses only prolong the agony.

Yeah, 25 minutes for *two arrows*!

Here's a little more detail specifically for the animal lovers...

The deer suffered miserably for at least 45 minutes before dying. He was hit in the belly with the first arrow, walked 30 yards and sat down. My BIL thought he missed him. Then after a good 30+ minutes he climbed down the tree, found the deer and fired an arrow through its neck. Even then it took some more time to croak.

Phil Mickelson = DONE

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. -- Forget chasing the No. 1 ranking. Phil Mickelson was more worried about being able to get out of bed.

Mickelson revealed Tuesday he has psoriatic arthritis, which causes his immune system to attack his joints and tendons and produced such intense pain he couldn't walk. He noticed the first symptoms five days before the U.S. Open, and the pain eventually got so bad he made a visit to the Mayo Clinic.

Weekly shots have brought the disease under control, and Mickelson said there shouldn't be any negative impact on his long- or even short-term health.

"I'm surprised at how quickly it's gone away and how quickly it's been able to be managed and controlled," he said. "I feel 100 percent, like I say. But when I'm laying there on the couch and I can't move, you know, yeah, I had some concerns. But I feel a lot better now."

As if that bombshell wasn't enough for the day, Lefty dropped another one: The burger connoisseur is now a vegetarian.

"I know, I know," he said as reporters laughed. "As long as I believe that there's a possibility that it will help me overall, yeah, I'll continue to do that. If it will somehow keep this in remission or stop it from coming back, yeah, I'll be able to do it. But I haven't been put it to the real test. The real test is driving by a Five Guys and not stopping."

Yeah, it's not the can't-even-move arthritis that's sealed his fate....it's the ill-advised VEGANISM!

John Daly tried to quit drinking and gambling - that didn't work.

Tiger Woods tried to quit whoring around - and that didn't work.

And once, my wife made me quit making *negative* remarks for an evening - boy did I turn into a dullard!

See also - On Vegetarians - which has a link to the story of Prince Fielder, a baseballer who gave up meat and lost all his hitting power!

Animal Worshipping Herbivores

Remember that doubly masculine superhero - He-Man?

Well today we have another animal altogether...

The so-called he-gan - a chromosomally male vegetarian of some militant sort.

See also - On Vegetarians.

Ruining Kids For Vegetables

Daddy, what happened to her?

Son, she ate a lot of vegetables.

Now what's going on here? Is she obese or is this Baal-worshipper pregnant?

Can vegans, given their oh-so-healthy diet, even cultivate such a paunch?

And who, in their right mind, would ever impregnate one?

Complicating the mystery is the fact that a *turkey baster* is probably off-limits as well to these carnophobes.

Don't misunderstand, I don't have a problem with vegetarians.

In fact, many of the animals I consume are in fact strict vegans!

See also - On Vegetarians.

On Vegetarians

I really don't want to be *that guy*, you know, the one who mocked golf his entire life as a sissy non-sport but then retired and was smitten by the golf bug - forever lamenting that they should have taken the game up years ago, back when they were *more flexible*.

I'm trying to be real conscious these days of personal closed-mindedness. Remember although I didn't ridicule yoga before, I let preconceived notions about it, and my impressions as to whom it was *for*, I let them build up a wall of resistance to the practice in my mind. Thankfully, I was able to break through.

In this spirit, I recently realized that I hadn't fully researched a number of things. A couple of weeks ago, in conversing with that Canadian *mom* I met, I came face-to-face with one of these very issues.

She was talking about being a vegetarian - something I've mocked for years. I asked the young lady why she won't eat meat:

CanadianVeggieMom - I stopped eating meat when I was 16. I had a bunch of friends who were vegetarian so I tried the diet unintentionally....My body felt so much better it was unbelievable. So I stuck with it.

Nowadays she also has a *global warming* justification for eschewing meat - she said that one could have their veggies overnighted, everyday from Australia and their diet would still have been supplied by less fossil fuel than what's burned by meateaters. She told me to go Google it.

That last part sounded dubious to me, but again, I freely admit that I haven't at all looked into how my fleshy foodstuffs are made. The Bible says its okay to barbeque critters, right?

And let's not even get into the false premise that burning carbon is going to kill us.

While I sat there listening to VeggieMom, I kept my mouth closed and my mind open. Then when I got home I relayed my thoughts on the possibility of vegetables perhaps being healthier to my wife:

Mrs. C-Nut - That part about *feeling better* is total bullsh*t....I've tried those fruit, vegetable, and bean diets for weeks at a time....not eating meat DID NOT make me feel healthier....I was starving and felt terrible!

So there you have it!

Just after I mustered the intellectual humility to admit that I had never tried meatlessness, and was about to give it a go,....

My wife came in and, as she's wont to do, slammed shut my wide-opened mind!

But, is there a way we can test the *veggies are healthier* proposition by proxy?

Sure. How about looking at the *free market* of professional athletes?

I Googled *vegetarian pro athletes* and found relatively nothing. Desmond Howard and a couple of no-names.

One might think if carrots, rice, and pomegranates were in fact better for the bod....that there'd be some empirical evidence in the way of vegetarian athletic out-performance, right? And one would think that *competitive* athletes would be going vegan in droves, right?

Alas, there aren't any that I can find.

But I did find this hilarious story of Prince Fielder - a baseballer who gave up meat and lost all of his hitting power!!!

For background on VeggieMom, see - Homeschoolers - Winning The Diversity Bee Too!.

See also:

Pagan Pizza

Those Militant Vegans Had It Coming

America - Where Beggars Can Be Choosers

Those Militant Vegans Had It Coming

Here's Ted Turner on not taking action against "global warming" - the apocalypse of his pagan creed:



"Not doing it will be catastrophic. We'll be eight degrees hotter in ten, not ten but 30 or 40 years and basically none of the crops will grow. Most of the people will have died and the rest of us will be cannibals."



Cannibals, huh?

Well, if there are no fruits and veggies, I say we eat the vegetarians first.

It's too bad that few of them are well marbled.