YouTube - The Forgotten Giant

Today we were setting up a YouTube account for my 7.12 year old son...

As I was keying in the info my son inquired:

John - Hey Dad, what's 'other'?

Hah! I ignored him, twice, and haven't gotten around to answering it. Although *Michael Jackson* might do the trick.

YouTube is littered with cussing and girls in thongs....even on SpongeBob videos!

So generally I don't let the kids surf the website.

BUT there are still tons of terrific, age-appropriate content on YouTube.

I send my kids videos of (other) amazing kids all the time. Y'all should do this too!

Right now my daughter is watching a young lady singing beautifully.

And my son, now that he has an account, is already subscribed for awesome, FREE chess lessons.

Critics thought YouTube would die from copyright infringement lawsuits; they said that it was nothing more than *pirated content*; that no one would create quality video content for free; and that Google OVERPAID.

Of course they were, as critics so often are, dead-wrong.

Now that I have an internet-enabled color TV in the house I find myself more and more opting to watch YouTube clips late at night, in bed - be they chess tutorials or interviews with famous entrepreneurs and whatnot.

Flying South?

I honestly haven't thought much about wintering in Florida this year. Maybe that's because it's been unseasonably warm the past two months? Or perhaps it's because living in New York now we are just so much busier?

Anyways I've tossed out a handful of lowball bids for unrented places in Naples the past couple of days.

We'll see if anything comes of it.

Of course I'd like to go, but my wife gives me such a hard time about taking the kids away from her for a couple weeks that it really mitigates the fun in the sun.

Either way I win. If I don't go....we'll save the $3,500-$4,000 total cost of the trip.

On the same subject, I am actually thinking about buying a place down there in Naples. It's not time yet, but it's getting close.

For less than $100,000 you can get a 2 bedroom place very close to Vanderbilt Beach now. At that price, the total annual cost of ownership (mortgage + taxes + HOAs) is only about $8,000 per year.

You could theoretically rent it out for just March and April for 4k+ and have half of that yearly nut covered.

Like I said, it's not time yet.

Those units are headed to 50k when the stock and bond markets revert to reality.

Indian 'Takers'

Yet another profoundly hilarious title by moi.

Oh, how I crack myself up...

Green Suckers

Saw this foolishness in TJ Max the other day - YummyEarth Organic Lollipops.

Licking them will save Father Earth! Seriously. Watch the video.

But upon further reflection I must say these are actually ingenious.

I mean every freakin' doctor and dentist in the wealthy suburbs (and all over California!) will buy them. Every Big Government, Big Bank will stock them...

Okay. For those of you provincials who've NEVER LEFT the Northeast....a *sucker* is a Midwestern(?) term for lollipop. So my clever title bears double meaning.

Attention - Pin-Heads

Did y'all see this new, upstart website - Pinterest?

I'm sure the site has some appeal - even if it was indiscernible to me upon first glance.

Funny Doctor Lies

I'm pretty sure that much of what that *doctor* said was outright distortion - particularly his assertion about the safety of natural birthing TODAY.

Still it was funny!

When they cut my wife's belly open for our first love child....one of the attending student nurses fainted.

I averted my eyes as best as I could!

And when our second child came, also via C-Section,....I went even further. I had my back to my wife!

Can you say Jaws? Well that was the invoked imagery.

'Old Coot' PDA

From Geezer Planet!

Awesome Fossil!

Watch the whole thing:

Last Minute Gift Ideas For HER

Last year, Lindsay Demma Gibson was thrilled to find a stocking and, under the tree, several carefully wrapped gifts from her husband Christmas morning.

That is, until she opened them.

Ms. Gibson, an elementary-school teacher, had been hoping for her favorite perfume, new boots or a nice purse.

Instead, her husband gave her golf gloves, a golf skirt and a golf shirt with a country-club logo on it—even though she rarely hits the links. He also presented her with a heating pad, Listerine breath strips and generic nasal strips to prevent snoring.

Tom Valentino, who grew up in a large Italian-American family, blames his upbringing. In his parents' house, Christmas was all about religious values—and food. Gifts were an afterthought.

Flash ahead a few decades, when Mr. Valentino, an accountant, had to pick out a holiday gift for his wife. "I started to think, well, we have three kids already, so no need for anything from Victoria's Secret," he says. "And I bought her a fancy watch last year for her birthday. How many of those does she need?"

Then he remembered his wife had said she needed a vacuum and a bigger pasta pot. Off to Macy's he went. "I could almost smell the sauce cooking with meatballs, sausage and braciole," he says. "How could a woman not be happy with these?"

He found out, because the gifts made his wife cry. "The worst part of it all were the looks the kids gave me," says Mr. Valentino, 52, who lives in Cheshire, Conn. "It's been about 15 years, and I can't tell you how many times I've been reminded of those gifts."

Those harrowing excerpts are from here.

Believe me. When women say, they don't want *anything* for Christmas/Kwanzaa...

They are lying!

Normally I charge $300 per hour for my sage *gift consultation*....but here are a few valuable(!), free suggestions:

1 - Pole Dancing Classes

2 - Books

3 - Clothes

The trendy knee pads are for scrubbing the floor, pervert!

4 - Exercise Feedback Gadgets

5 - Kettlebells

I got my wife one for Valentine's Day last year!

All these gifts are GUARANTEED to bring a tear(s) to her eye!

Stick with my suggestions.

*Lingerie* will get a Moron in trouble. As will a new *iron*.

And don't buy a new *vacuum* either or the wife might think you have an eye for the undocumented cleaning lady - since she's the one who actually USES it.

Arlington Christmas

While I'm certainly no flack for Big Military and these types of *forwards* often march as propaganda...

Still this is pretty cool:

Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine . The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one of the poorest parts of the state.

Christmas Cheer, For Heathens Too

All Hail The Puppet King!

The thing is, Big Media could have put an end to this if they were the slightest bit inclined. They could still have *their guy* in the White House...

Instead they choose to provide blanket cover - I guess rationalizing in favor of a *larger battle*.

Whatever Obama is, it's important to remember that he's merely a symptom - a symptom of runaway, unaccountable Big Government.

Ron Paul has been gaining steam, despite ZERO media coverage, despite murderous *friendly fire*, despite being anathema to the ruling elites, and despite some of his admittedly wacky stances.

But the people who discount him would be well-served by reading a little history.

Winston Churchill was also Marginalized and considered a loon by the entire political establishment before....before HE SAVED EUROPE from Hitler!

The Last Lion: Winston Spencer Churchill: Alone, 1932-1940 really ought to be REQUIRED READING for young Morons and fossilized Morons alike.

Measuring Manhood - 2 - Justin Bieber

Behold the chest *concavity*!

And you know his trainer definitely has him working out, too.

Selena Gomez too. She's a modern day Winnie Cooper!

Someone's Cranky...

This is going viral at the moment:

I think it was a computer monitor.

Whatever. There's padding in there, right?

And for all we know, the recipient might well be a deserving $*&#-head.

Have you seen the baggage handlers at the airport toss/slam the luggage all over the place - particularly when THROWING it on the belt?

On a related topic, I have noticed that much of what comes from Amazon, particularly the *books* show up with small damage - rips and whatnot.

Whatever. It's still worth it.

Amazon Prime makes me almost feel like a king.

Who Knew?

Of course it makes sense.

Jesus still reigns on Earth - despite Big Media and Big Government obliteration.

I'm still a HeadBook newbie, but I'm studying it more and more these days. Most likely going to do little Facebook Fan Pages for this blog and for HomeschoolDad.com. This way earthlings don't have to subscribe to my blog via a Reader. If they *fan* my page they can be alerted to new content via Fbook.

Starting to get mad at myself for chronically underestimating the power of social media!

Instead Of Worrying About Credit Risk...

So while the bank is losing tens/hundreds of billions....they still have time to promulgate an extracurricular POLITICAL CAMPAIGN.

For more on this very topic visit my killer classic post - Bank of America's Ken Lewis - Socialist Hero, Shareholder Villain.

Recall when Al Gore's sci-fi motion picture came out - A Convenient Myth - Kenny had them screening the movie, at work, all day long!

Look at that graphic above again.

Melvin Dwork???

Did God make him gay? Or did the people who named him? Seriously.

Perhaps it would have been wise for him to take his mother's last name.

Then again, perhaps he did!

For the record, I don't care who's in the military - SO LONG AS THEY CUT IT IN HALF budget-wise.

ATM Fees, SURGING

At Penn Station in NYC the other day I withdrew $340 from my account...

But it only dispensed $220!

I checked with the bank today and it did in fact confirm that I typed-in/requested $340 on Sunday. I had been doubting myself; and hadn't requested a receipt.

After a *first check* they haven't found any problems with the money count from that ATM. So I've had to file some sort of appeal.

Of course this is Bank of America we are talking about.

I've never had a problem with Capitol One. See an old receipt of mine above.

Cookie Flop!

So my wife goes to a *cookie swap* last night.

Great, right? She'll come home with all sorts of delicious cookies.

But it turns out most of them stunk.

Why is that?

According to my wife, "....there were just too many WORKING moms."

The Splits Too?

That's the Russian Kettlebell guy - Pavel Tsatsouline. Read my prior post.

He's got another book -Relax into Stretch : Instant Flexibility Through Mastering Muscle Tension - which is informative and fascinating.

Pavel asserts that most men CAN do the splits and that the only reason the only thing holding them back is purely *pschological*!

He says that most people can stand up and stretch one leg out 90 degrees on a chair....and they can do this also with the other leg.

So why can't they stretch both legs out 90 degrees at the same time?

Anatomically there is no connection from one side to the other - so raising one leg SHOULDN'T preclude raising the other.

Pavel says that our fearful brain is the culprit - NOT THE MUSCLES, NOT THE LIMITS OF OUR FLEXIBILITY.

Check out his book if your interest is piqued.

One warning - his hacks are time-intensive. He wants you to stretch until these involuntary, reflexive contractions/restrictions tire out.

December Software Deals

Need voice recognition software?

Then watch the video:



You can get it for $20 right now - $60, less $20 coupon code, less $20 main-in rebate. Email me and I'll send you the info. Just have to buy before 12/31.

I just ordered that. Hopefully it will help me get my *content* down for HomeschoolDad.com.

AND theoretically I can use it to get the kids dictating short stories. We'll see.

This isn't the only software I just snagged for a song.

A couple weeks ago I bought the full suite of MS Office for only $10.

Can't help y'all with that one, not directly anyway. It's a deal only offered to employees of my wife's company.

But you Big Business wage slaves ought to inquire to find out if they can get a similar deal through their employer.

Dentists - Self-Interested Thieves?

So some kid died after complications from wisdom teeth removal.

More accurately I should say that he died from complications from anesthesia.

Whatever.

Reading that article I came across:

Like any surgery, wisdom tooth extraction carries risks. The most common complication -- permanent nerve damage causing numbness of the tongue, lips or cheeks -- affects more than 11,000 people annually, according to a 2007 report in the American Journal of Public Health. But the surgery has also been linked to jaw and tooth fractures, brain tissue infections, life-threatening bleeding and hypoxia.


With all the risks, some dentists question whether the extraction surgeries are even necessary.
The American Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgeons strongly recommends that young adults have their wisdom teeth removed to "prevent future problems and to ensure optimal healing." But the science supporting prophylactic extraction is thin.


"Third-molar surgery is a multibillion-dollar industry that generates significant income for the dental profession," Jay Friedman, a retired California dentist, wrote in the American Journal of Public Health. "It is driven by misinformation and myths that have been exposed before but that continue to be promulgated by the profession."


American dentists and oral surgeons pull 10 million wisdom teeth each year -- an effort that costs more than $3 billion and leads to 11 million days of post-operative discomfort, according to the report.


"At least two thirds of these extractions, associated costs, and injuries are unnecessary, constituting a silent epidemic of [physician-induced] injury that afflicts tens of thousands of people with lifelong discomfort and disability," Friedman wrote.

Shocker!

Obviously, dentists and the oral surgeons they are in cahoots with WILL NEVER, EVER admit that wisdom teeth extraction is or even might be dubious.

They just make too much darn money!

Be cynical of EVERY PROFESSION - especially the *guilds* and the ones that are paid by third parties (e.g. government, banks, insurance companies).

CHECK. CHECK...for dentists.

Pre-Oinking Advice

Just a quick reminder...

Y'all realize that you are most likely going to consume small mountains of food and rivers of alcohol this upcoming Christmas weekend.

Obviously there's no avoiding it. Inlaws and outlaws are intolerable without such medication!

I'm working out vigorously every morning this week in preparation thereof. I'll still oink, but this should take the teeth out of the calories/cellulite.

Unicycle - A Killer Ab Workout!

Alright I mentioned in an earlier post that unicycling might be an *ab hack*.

Well I took my kids to a unicycling sort-of class today and had the opportunity to jump on myself.

Actually I jumped on a unicycle with training wheels (4 of them!) and even riding that misnomer, for only about two minutes, activated my abs to the point where I can still feel it a little 12 hours later. (I did have some problems trying to turn the dang thing!) I'm definitely tempted to give this doohickey some more consideration.

It was 20+ kids from our homeschool group. Here's the demo video from their website:

Thankfully, being mid-December, they have a nice indoor space too!

The guy who started this business has a great story.

He had Crohn's disease something fierce - surgical removal of much of his large intestine...

I didn't get the full story, but apparently he started unicycling and this fitness kick brought back his health - relieving him of the 23 pills a day he had to take.

We'll be back to his place soon for another session. I may come back a bit bruised as there's NO WAY I'll wear a helmet (or kneepads!).

Before SHE Cheats

Another celebrity divorce. I'm shocked!

In these cases it's rather easy to assume that the dude's unfaithfulness was the cause of the breakup.

But with the prospect of a huge *departing bonus* and the freedom to do whatever with whomever they want....I bet more of these divorces are initiated by the wife than most people think.

Back in 2005('04?) when I was living in Charlotte, NC I delivered one of my personally most memorable jokes.

The color TV was on at the bar and it was broadcasting the story of how a married Kobe Bryant allegedly raped that girl in Colorado.

I stately rather loudly, and with my trademark credibility:

"...That's BAD LUCK. The ONE TIME Kobe cheats on his wife he ended up getting caught..."

Taking the bait, some young lady near me went ape$hit over my remark.

PuddyInMyHandsChick - YEAH.  RIGHT.  THE ONE TIME HE CHEATED!

And then she stormed out of the bar in a huff.

I can only presume that she was a female chauvinist pig - if not a racist.

(BTW, there is a comedy routine on YouTube that shares the title of this post and parodies the Carrie Underwood song. But it was a little too raunchy for me to embed or link to.)

Funny Earthlings

Again, you 'old coots'...

This is a SLIDESHOW. It's more than one image!

Never mind.

And, for you younger fools....if you can't read/understand the image, click on it to enlarge.

Making people laugh is a such a chore. This is the modern day equivalent of *explaining the punch line* or something.

Can't Live On Beer Alone?

Or can you?

Not for nuthin' but one of my South Philly golf jabronis has lived for years - if not DECADES - almost exclusively on Coors Light.

Pranking A Sleeping Wage Slave

Shoot. This would have been a great idea for back when I was in my private Catholic high school!

Although, I would have been a SITTING DUCK.

I dozed off in almost every class. They piled on so much work that between 1 and 2 nights a week I really didn't get to sleep.

Quite often there was a puddle of drool on my desk.

Looks like tons of clips come up when searching for *fell asleep in class* on YouTube.

Oh how I wish I spent my sophomoric youth in the age of digital cameras!

Pranking Spoiled Brats

My son was laughing at first...

Then I asked him to send it to one of his friends.

But he wouldn't - said this video was *mean*.

Six Pack Abs Hack?

Like most earthlings, sit-ups, leg raises, and crunches kill my back and neck.

But I recently heard that there is a way to do them which not only protects those weak spots but also really hits your abs.

Apparently the key is to *flatten your lower back* all the way to the floor while doing them.

And now that I Google this a bit I can see that it's hardly a secret among the workout cognoscenti.

I'll have to give this a whirl now. Technique is everything in life!

Movie Skip - The Way Back

Looks good:

But was a dud!

You'd think a story about a 4,000 mile prison escape from Siberia would be teeming with drama. Except, there wasn't even a single memorable or well-done scene.

The acting was also weak and no doubt many viewers had trouble understanding the various fake foreign accents speaking English.

I'm sure the book was better.

Now I'm going to try to remember which fool it was that recommended this one to me...