Shriveling Down to Nothing - My Downward Weight Spiral

I still feel strong - always have. That statue above looks like me coming home from a bar late at night with a "new acquaintance"....back when I was 22 or so.

Anabolic steroids have nothing on 14 Yuengling Lagers plus hormonal adrenaline...

However...

In 7.5 months of London-living....I've now lost 17 lbs.

Early this morning I weighed in a new all-time(?) low - 159 pounds!

This summer, after my Sicily trip, I gave up carbs and sugar which took me to new weight depths.

But then I experimented with Tim Ferriss' "cheat day". That's one day (Saturday) where I could eat whatever I wanted, and however much of it I wanted.

But that didn't stop me from losing weight.

Then I went back to eating sugar. First a little here and there, and more recently almost back to my usual 1.5 candy bars per night.

Still no weight gain. In fact, I kept losing a little!

Even after adding bread a few times per week....nothing.

Then I stopped working out (down to 2 days per week) AND I stopped my morning protein shakes because the price, ON AMAZON, is $55 per cannister - it's only $22 at supermarkets in NY!

I'm in a downward weight spiral and nothing seems to be able to stop it.

Interesting...

I'm starting to look and feel "runty" and I don't necessarily like that.

Anyone else ever have this problem?

Oxygen For Mouth-Breathing Morons

Remember this guy - Dean Karnazes? Remember I read his book? See - Running Insanity.

He's freakin' totally ripped, obviously. Guy would run 50, 60, 100 miles straight!

His feet would blister so bad....they'd just shoot super-glue in-between his toes! For real.

Anyways when I run I try to think of his abs/bod. I have always hated distance running, going all the way back to childhood. It was just brutally painful. So I tried a Tony Robbins mind-over-matter thing while I jogged - you know, positive thoughts. If I kept going my abs would approximate his...

It didn't work for more than a minute or so.

But yesterday I joined a health club here in London and jumped on the treadmill. I hadn't run at all since at least Christmas or so - and probably not since Thanksgiving before that.

Nonetheless I got on the treadmill and promptly ran my personal longest (best) - a little over 5 miles!

Don't laugh. I could beat any of your a$$es in a dead sprint, or once around the track. But I always pooped out at about 1/4 of a mile.

So how'd I do it?

No, there wasn't some amazingly hot broad running on the machine next to me that I was trying to impress or anything. On the contrary, such a scenario would probably make me trip, over something.

The way this 39.5 year old set a personal best distance, despite running on ZERO ACLs, despite my botched, ill-advised back surgery, and despite being theoretically pretty out of shape....is that I finally figured out how to breathe, diaphramatically, through my nose.

It turns out I have "flimsy nostrils" - which I discovered on this website with this test:

Starting from the tip of your nose, the first thing you must do is to find out if you have flimsy nostrils. If you have a very narrow nose, or if your nostril openings are very narrow and slit-like, then you may be prone to having flimsy nostrils. Try this experiment: Take both index fingers and press them just besides your nostrils on your cheek. While firmly pressing on your cheeks, lift the cheek skin upwards and sideways, pointing towards the outer corners of your eyes. Take a deep breath in. Can you breathe much better through your nose?

I swear that when I manually lifted up the skin around my face....my nostrils flared open and I felt a gush of oxygen, instantly, like I've never felt before. Apparently, it's like throughout my entire life someone has been pinching my nose shut and depriving me of vast amounts of oxygen.

I would encourage y'all to read up on the benefits of "nasal breathing". Its advocates spare no exaggeration when touting it. According to them....it can bring about world peace and whatnot.

And I can attest that the effects of all this fresh, nasal oxygen were not only physical but mental too. I became far more relaxed with my flaring nostrils, immediately.

Now I've been (half-heartedly) trying to change my breathing, make it more nasal, for some time now. A few of you might even remember. Of course it's hard to break some of these deeply ingrained habits. I think it was just over the summer when I figured out how breathe a little better while running. I was quite happy to start doing 3+ miles here and there.

But yesterday I not only ran over 5 miles, but I wasn't even the slightest bit winded. I could have kept going if I wasn't worried about how my knees would react to this sudden "rudeness". (Indeed they did bitch and moan at me today!)

It's just like in golf...many hackers know what they are doing wrong, BUT they have no idea how to correct it.

Telling myself to breathe more through my nose wasn't doing anything....not with my flimsly nostrils shutting down my airways. Again, I had to manually open them in order to feel exactly how much air they could take in.

And I do disagree with the nostril opening suggestions on that website. I think that if one breathes diaphragmatically and probably does some sort of facial exercises they can open up their nostrils organically.

Can you say "Smile Therapy"???

Beach Muscles

What are beach muscles?

The look good on the beach but...

I used to teach my brother about having them too.

Work Out?

Probably only those who work out, seriously, will appreciate this...

I do wish I had a pull-up bar somewhere on my property.

Ideally you would have one in the house, in a doorway that you walk through each day. I heard one guy say that putting up a pull-up bar like that, and doing a pull-up every time you walk past (or thereabouts) does WONDERS for the bod.

And that's what everything boils down to - figuring out how to get more reps in.

You can read that guy's latest here.

Father Nature's Stairmaster

Up in Arctic Massachusetts this weekend...

My wife and I decided to tackle the *most climbed mountain in the world* yesterday morning.

It's only 3,166 feet, but ascending and descending Mt. Monadnock (in NH) at a brisk pace is quite the workout. It took about 3.5 hours of motoring on the popular White Dot trail.

My wife is still a little sore, but I feel energized and fantastic.

I wish I could figure out how to get that kind of quality vigorous exercise in more often. For some reason lifting weights, running, yoga, and other stale activities don't deliver the same uplifting results.

Maybe I need to start playing basketball or something again???

That pic is a little misleading...

The leaves have not changed up there, yet.

But just give it a week or so!

The kids, I left at my parents' house...and my wife is en route to Zurich on a work trip.

So I'm here alone in New York this week with my lengthy HomeschoolDad.com to-do list...

Punching Dorks

Thanks to LeagueIslander for this gem!

Weighing In

I'm tipping the scales at an all-time record of 173 lbs right now.

Only 6 months ago I was at my personal low of 161 and annoying family members were saying I looked *emaciated*.

I myself am shocked at this sudden reversal. My busy schedule has limited my short bursts (20 minutes of the elliptical) of aerobic exercise AND it has induced a lot of *eating out* for lunch and dinner (burritos and pizza)...

But still I am somewhat surprised and frustrated by the weight gain. I still do the kettlebells and 30 grams of early morning protein from The 4-Hour Body.

Added muscle? Maybe - but certainly not all of the bulge.

So right now I'm finishing up Day 2 of a serious diet (if I make it through bedtime!).

No pizza. No burritos. No ice cream. No candy. No soda. No bread. No pasta. And tons of fruits and vegetables.

My goal is to purge for 10 straight days.

I pretty much suck at avoiding sweets so these experiments never last long.

But this time I'm more motivated - not only by the *all-time* number, but also from reading about Tony Robbins and his ninja mental tricks. I'm really interested to see if I can pull this, a major behavioral change, off.

I'll weigh in again the morning of July 12th, shaved, naked, and post-defecation.

See also - Breaking My Vows.

Sitting Is Death!

Look, I've been saying that - *sitting is death* - for a while now....but since nobody listens to me, perhaps they'll listen to Tim Ferriss?

He's got a blog post up (laced with very high-priced affiliate links!) that pretty much corroborates my own independent assertion.

The opening line is a haymaker:

If you’re a white-collar worker, hacking your body isn’t limited to the gym. In fact, what you do outside of the gym might be more important that what you do inside the gym.

Recent research suggests that those who sit from 9-5 (more than 6 hours daily) and exercise regularly are more likely to have heart disease than those who sit less than 3 hours per day and don’t "exercise" at all.

Did you catch that???

Sitting all day MORE THAN OFFSETS exercise. Yeah, it's that bad.

And it explains why those European women can eat so much food and still stay thin...

THEY DON'T WORK - at least not at desks all day.

It's just too easy to sit, to drive, or ride the subway/train. None of our daily needs demand any exercise to be fulfilled.

You sort of have to manufacture situations of physical hardship. For example, nowadays I always walk and carry my own bag when golfing - as intentional exercise.

And yesterday when we got off the train at Penn Station I made my kids walk 2.9 miles through Manhattan to get to their art fair - not to save a subway/cab fare, but rather because they don't get near enough exercise naturally in my estimation.

The Hypocritic Oath

Hah! Just imagine what the results would have been/said if *doctors* were truly honest in their answers...

Of course it's understandable that doctors aren't totally forthcoming in delivering bad prognoses, in disclosing financial bias, etc. After all it's not like real estate agents, financial advisers, politicians, and the rest are pure by any stretch...

But in my experience, doctors do have an EXTRAORDINARILY LOW OPINION of their patients and the lumpen masses in general.

Why so arrogant and condescending?

Well you have to remember that they have been anointed by Big Education more than just about any other group. Medical school has been, by far, the most competitive and popular destination for *school nerds* over the past 30+ years - if not longer.

I myself haven't been to a doctor in MANY, MANY YEARS. A bunch of them messed me up with horrible advice/surgery after I suffered a car accident some 13 years ago. They actually all told me NOT TO DO precisely what eventually helped!

The idea that a physician can make YOU healthy remains ludicrous. Only individuals that accept their health as a personal responsibility will ever *look like me*.

Google your ailments. Find your own self-help regimens. And emulate the habits of the fittest people on planet Earth....that's all anyone has to do.

Oh yeah....and throw away that poisonous armchair and color TV!

The Splits Too?

That's the Russian Kettlebell guy - Pavel Tsatsouline. Read my prior post.

He's got another book -Relax into Stretch : Instant Flexibility Through Mastering Muscle Tension - which is informative and fascinating.

Pavel asserts that most men CAN do the splits and that the only reason the only thing holding them back is purely *pschological*!

He says that most people can stand up and stretch one leg out 90 degrees on a chair....and they can do this also with the other leg.

So why can't they stretch both legs out 90 degrees at the same time?

Anatomically there is no connection from one side to the other - so raising one leg SHOULDN'T preclude raising the other.

Pavel says that our fearful brain is the culprit - NOT THE MUSCLES, NOT THE LIMITS OF OUR FLEXIBILITY.

Check out his book if your interest is piqued.

One warning - his hacks are time-intensive. He wants you to stretch until these involuntary, reflexive contractions/restrictions tire out.

Unicycle - A Killer Ab Workout!

Alright I mentioned in an earlier post that unicycling might be an *ab hack*.

Well I took my kids to a unicycling sort-of class today and had the opportunity to jump on myself.

Actually I jumped on a unicycle with training wheels (4 of them!) and even riding that misnomer, for only about two minutes, activated my abs to the point where I can still feel it a little 12 hours later. (I did have some problems trying to turn the dang thing!) I'm definitely tempted to give this doohickey some more consideration.

It was 20+ kids from our homeschool group. Here's the demo video from their website:

Thankfully, being mid-December, they have a nice indoor space too!

The guy who started this business has a great story.

He had Crohn's disease something fierce - surgical removal of much of his large intestine...

I didn't get the full story, but apparently he started unicycling and this fitness kick brought back his health - relieving him of the 23 pills a day he had to take.

We'll be back to his place soon for another session. I may come back a bit bruised as there's NO WAY I'll wear a helmet (or kneepads!).

Six Pack Abs Hack?

Like most earthlings, sit-ups, leg raises, and crunches kill my back and neck.

But I recently heard that there is a way to do them which not only protects those weak spots but also really hits your abs.

Apparently the key is to *flatten your lower back* all the way to the floor while doing them.

And now that I Google this a bit I can see that it's hardly a secret among the workout cognoscenti.

I'll have to give this a whirl now. Technique is everything in life!

Moronic Respiration

A few times on this site I've discussed my congenital mouth-breathing problems. For the most recent reference - click here.

Well last week Tim Ferris ran an interesting post on the importance of nasal breathing.  See - The Painless Path To Endurance.

A few years ago I read how Goethe would only breath through his nose. Apparently the guy never caught a cold.

And now you've got Tim Ferriss' super-athletes also asserting the health benefits of nasal breathing...

Unfortunately I've been unable to really improve the quality of my breathing.

I just keep forgetting to breathe! Seriously.

The only time I actually remember to breath properly (through both mouth and nose) is when I'm working out.

I probably need to post sticky-note reminders at my desk, on the bathroom mirrors, on my steering wheel...

Still Searching For Fitness Hacks

I might get me one of these things this week.

Yeah it's a beast of a space-eater...

But one of my problems is that I don't get enough aerobic exercise.

I've always hated running (it's most unkind to my achy back) and just haven't been able to get going with full immersion swimming.

So I'm thinking that some work with the bags may finally be the answer to my cardio training deficiency.

Have any of y'all ever used these? Thoughts?

I mean I'm not even sure that it is a cardio workout. My arms are already ripped so what I'm looking for is a good sweat and maybe some more ab-work.  I'd like to kick the heavy bag too - so long as I don't hit the support structure!

Hucksters Of Yore

I just read another one of Tim Ferriss' 4-Hour Workweek book recommendations:

"This business has legs": How I Used Infomercial Marketing to Create the $100,000,000 ThighMaster Craze

It was a fast-moving and overall decent business/marketing book, I would say.  And it was definitely of interest to me as I continue to develop and market HomeschoolDad.com.

I'm sure y'all, or y'all's parents, have a Thighmaster collecting dust somewhere in the house....it may even still be in the box!

Cheap Protein Power

Recall Tim Ferriss got me into early morning protein intake - *30 grams within 30 minutes of waking*...

So I started out with piles of eggs and beans (black or refried). But then I was happy to discover the Lean Shake.

They are a little bit expensive at over $2 per drink....

Yeah, THAT IS EXPENSIVE. I don't need to be spending over $700 a year on breakfast. Cereal and milk is probably a 50-60 cent per day meal.

I go into GNC (the store) and tell the guy, "I want the CHEAPEST protein shake mix you've got."

He steered me to the $70 jar pictured above and asserted that the shakes would be cheaper ($1 each) and better (less sugar). SOLD!

They didn't mix as well as the more expensive brand; they didn't nearly taste as good; but I rationalized these concerns away on account of the price.

Now the dude at the store told me that I needed to drink *multiple shakes* per day if I wanted to benefit. Note there wasn't a muscle on this scrawny Indian kid.

Multiple shakes?

Whatever. I may as well have been pitched by a financial adviser to make monthly mutual fund(!) investments....or an exterminator, "If I don't coming for monthly sprayings....the bugs/rodents will return." What kills me is how they lie so self-unconsciously. I guess they have to believe their own BS to get dressed each morning.

Anyways I was ramping up my shake-intake a little, perhaps to 1.5 a day.

But by Saturday of that first week I was, well, let's just say *on fire*. I would have stopped the shakes sooner but I didn't realize it was in fact these chemo-protein drinks that had me percolating something fierce.

The worst part is a strange lack of dissemination. You rip them without relief because they linger on your person like a cloud. There's just no getting away from your own stench a la Pig Pen!

My wife, not surprisingly(!), told me to trash the rest of the mix and just take the loss.

But I'm too stubborn and too cheap. I went back in last night and BANG, I lit up instantly again only minutes after one little shake.

So it's going to be a long month - in the spare bedroom, with the windows open.

Heck I should have known. If you read the jar it says "EXPLOSIVE amino acid blend" in what I now presume to actually be a legal disclaimer rather than a helpful description.

Only 58 shakes left...

Shaking It Up

Tim Ferriss got me on that early morning, high protein diet. Mostly I've been doing 3 eggs and a pile of refried beans. Recall he asserts that you need 30 grams of protein within 30 minutes of waking to jump-start your metabolic processes - that is if you want to shed fat and build muscle.

But after 6 months of this diet I'm really SICK OF EGGS.

For now I'm going with the protein shakes for a little while.

I need figure out if it's more efficient (time & money!) to buy the pre-mixed liquid ones or the powder and make my own...

The pre-mixed liquid shakes are close to $2 each and they advertise *25 grams* of protein. So I'll be supplementing with a small bowl of beans.

I've been told by many people that the protein shakes will make me *fart my brains out*. But so far my firepower hasn't changed a bit...

See also - 4-Hour Body Chronicles - Shrinkage?.

Void Filled

I just snagged a 60 lb kettlebell. At $50 and a bit of an antique it wasn't as good of a deal as that last one...

But still it plugged the gap.

Now altogether I have 30, 45, 60, and 88 pound kettlebells.

Surprisingly, when I first picked this up from the dude's garage it felt light. But it's definitely 60 pounds because I threw it on his scale. I've gotten a whole lot stronger since starting with these weights in late December - and all with very little time and effort invested. So again I'd encourage anyone who has never messed with weights to at least give it a shot.

Currently I'm on the Craigslist prowl for a weight bench and some weights. I've never bench pressed in my life and am looking forward to giving it a shot.

Individual results may vary...

Other kettlebell posts:

Book Summary - The 4-Hour Body

Kettlebell Chronicles - Pavel

Kettlebell Score

My Blog Will Chisel Your Mind

Twice now in the past 2 months or so I have met individuals who've completed the P90X regimen. You may recognize it from the nighttime infomercials:



Both guys were quite happy and quite transformed by the product.

P90X is obviously the antithesis of these other fitness programs. Unlike products like the *Ab Lounge*, this one promises to whip your butt.

I have to admit that I an fascinated by infomercials. I watch them all the time. I find the marketing, the new *sells* very interesting.

Though only twice have I ever bought anything. I bought the some *ab wheel* about 10 years ago (It hurt my back too much). And I also bought the Bean so I could do back-supported crunches. The Bean lasted, and got used, for a couple of years. It recently went flat and I moved on to yoga and Hip Hop Abs.

The yoga has been great - read my prior post On Yoga.

But now I might modify my workout a bit. I think I am going to give Yoga Booty Ballet a try!



One note - they ought to make *new moms* off-limits from infomercial testimonials. No matter what they do, even if it's *nothing*, these women are going to lose a lot of weight after they have newborns. That is....so long as they don't get pregnant again.