Extortionary Church Taxes

We just signed up my son for CCD (Catholic church school) for next year.

Guess how much they are CHARGING for the classes plus the *first communion* fee...

How about $195 !!!

Okay - the teachers are volunteers and they simply use the extant school buildings. So what exactly is the money for?

As I've mentioned before (I think).... in 30+ years and at nearly 10 different parishes, the Catholic Church has NEVER ONCE asked me for my *time*, only money.

Squeezing A $100 Million Church Through The Eye Of A Needle

A commenter from a post earlier today introduced me to Joel Osteen - someone I'd never heard of. He's apparently the *most popular* preacher in America:

So the critics assail him for being too light on Jesus and Scripture; for promising his followers worldly rewards; etc. Almost like an infomercial that's too good to be true, right?

Well I for one love infomercials. I watch them quite often on my low-def, round-screen color TV - even if I NEVER buy anything (only The Bean). Even though I'm not a big fan of brainwashing, the marketing is usually ingenious. The packaging of these too-good-to-be-true products really does highlight latent consumer demand.

So the commercial success of Oprah, American Idol, iMorons,..., and the *lite* ministry of Joel Osteen is definitely preaching some truth worth noting - even if it's not the TRUTH outsiders are holding them too.

You know the Jesuits were (and might still be!) VERY UN-ORTHODOX in their methods, in how they courageously spread the Word to frontier heathens. It's all too easy for armchair do-nothings to sit back and criticize. Here's my boy Will Durant:

"Wherever men do things, other men will arise who will explain to them how things should be done."

Indeed!

So I say *so what* if Joel Osteen isn't running the perfect ministry for whatever YOU think YOUR NEEDS are. YOUR fear of him becoming a Big Media caricature is just that, YOUR SELF-INDUCED problem. Live and let live (and tune out Big Media). Like I said, I'd never even heard of this guy before today. And I'm not afraid at all to investigate him further.

Erecting Boondoggle Idols

Remember all the money, the *confiscatory* 10% tithe that went to beautify Papal Rome and those palatial cathedrals back in the day?

Well, these new *public* schools being erected today, amid some uproar, represent a historical analogue.

They are just monuments to the regnant power of Big Government.

My Crazy Parents - 5 - Our Lady Of Blessed Vindictiveness

After 35 years at their local Catholic Church my parents have moved on down the road - to another Catholic Church.

My mother apparently was miffed at how their long-time parish handled the funeral of her mother last year. So she's taking her business elsewhere.

But here's the crazy part - SHE DOESN'T EVEN GO TO CHURCH and hasn't for years, only my father attends mass regularly.

So essentially SHE told him he had to go pray (for her?) somewhere else!

I just don't get it. One doesn't, or shouldn't, go to church based upon the imperfect HUMAN minister. That detail should be mostly irrelevant in the larger scheme.

And I know for a fact that my angelic grandmother wouldn't have given two hoots about the alleged *mishandling* of her funeral.

Lastly, now what are we going to do with my vindictive mother when her time comes?

A *burial at sea*?

See also:

My Crazy Parents - 4 - The Cluttered Fridge

My Crazy Parents - 3 - Russian Gangsters

My Crazy Parents - 2 - Bend Over

My Crazy Parents - 1 - Tiny Pics

Making It Easier To....Text God!

Recall that a church spire used to legally define the highest point in a faithful community. See - Weed Worshippers.

But now, not only are sky-scrapers throwing shadows on churches....now one parish is attempting to pimp out its spire for rent!

Check that number...

The installation of cell phone antennas in church steeples is not unusual. Next door in Hingham, three churches in the downtown area have installed cell antennas in their steeples in recent years: First Baptist Church, Hingham Congregational Church and New North Church.

Weed Worshipers

It used to be that towns and villages would never dare building a structure higher than the church's spire. It'd be deemed blasphemous.

But today, we have skyscrapers, monuments to and icons of the prevailing religion du jour - that of selfishness and monetary wealth. Obviously, they tower over traditional houses of worship, and do so with impunity.

Recently we've had to make way for ascendant new creeds like modern day earth worship. Heck it was 2.5 years ago now that I taught my son about those eco-pagan idols that are euphemized as *windmills* and *clean energy*.

Now consider this proposed, re-purposed building in Oregon:

As part of a $133 million renovation, the General Services Administration is planning to cultivate "vegetated fins" that will grow more than 200 feet high on the western facade of the main federal building here, a vertical garden that changes with the seasons and nurtures plants that yield energy savings.

"They will bloom in the spring and summer when you want the shade, and then they will go away in the winter when you want to let the light in," said Bob Peck, commissioner of public buildings for the G.S.A. "Don’t ask me how you get them irrigated."

The G.S.A. says the building will use 60 percent to 65 percent less energy than comparable buildings and estimates a savings of $280,000 annually in energy costs. Solar panels could provide up to 15 percent of the building’s power needs. The use of rainwater and low-flow plumbing fixtures will reduce potable water consumption by 68 percent. And energy for lighting will be halved.

"It will be one of the more energy-efficient high-rises in America, possibly in the world," said James Cutler, whose architecture firm, Cutler Anderson, led the design work.

A green skyscraper? Bam! That's real clever, delivering both idolatries in a bundle!

But $133 million to save (maybe) $280,000 in utility bills per year? What's that? A best case scenario of 2.1% ROI?

Meanwhile, Oregon's businesses, i.e. the candidates to fill such ambitious buildings, are heading for the borders. See Mish's nice post - Oregon's Death Spiral; Business Owners Say "I'm moving out".

Thanks to Taylor for alerting me to this one. Nothing in the Times ever escapes his attention. I believe he's actually a paying NYT subscriber!

Greg Mankiw, Finally Right!

If Greg can confess partial embarrassment to admitting that he's been listening to *Lady Gaga*...

Then I'm going to confess substantial embarrassment in agreeing with him!

I too cannot get that song Bad Romance out of my head.

Though I will not, ABSOLUTELY NOT watch the freakshow video on YouTube. It has to blare in the background.

What is that Lady Gaga anyway?

Some sort of transgendered, undescended-testicle hermaphrodite or something?

Whatever. I am most certainly not going to watch her it in such a fleshy video.

It is a darn shame that we have to patronize and listen to these un-Ladylike singers. The lyrics are complete trash and they're horrible idols for our precious children. BUT they do make the best music.

Simply put, all the money is in trash, so it attracts the most talented singers, song-writers, producers, etc.

The relationship is sort of a reversal from the time of Papal Rome.



Back then, all these inverted, pagan artists were adorning churches and glorifying God with their art. They did it because they had to - as the Church paid the best!

Feeding AND Medicating Frankenstein's Creation

(FYI, That's not *Frankenstein* pictured above; it's the unnamed monster of Dr. Frankenstein. I just learned this and narrowly saved myself from scholarly embarrassment.)

So I attended mass yesterday....and people actually shook my hand! Pig flu hysteria must be abating.

But something else there really got me fired up.

Perusing the weekly bulletin I was met with:

Dear Parishioners,

Tell Congress: Remove Abortion Funding & Mandates from Needed Health Care Reform:

[blah, blah, blah].....

NEEDED health care reform?

In other words, nationalized health care is fine so long as abortion is not explicitly covered.

Are you bleepin' kidding me?

Now I've already touched upon the monumental hypocrisy/immorality of the Church on this matter in - Big Stones, Big Government, and Big Church.

Robbing Peter to pay for Paul's healthcare (or anything for that matter)....it just doesn't quite jibe with the code of conduct Moses delivered from on high.

And here's the form letter from the bishops' website:

Please adopt the House-approved Stupak Amendment that upholds longstanding policies against abortion funding, and please protect conscience rights in health care reform. Health care must be made more affordable and accessible to those in need, and immigrants must not lose or be denied health care coverage.

Just pass a law to make it more *affordable* and *accessible*!

That's all they have to do!

Ignorance and naivete may not be explicitly proscribed by the Decalogue...but they are given the *rod* in the Old Testament - e.g. Proverbs 26:3.

And let's not forget those unmodified *immigrants*...

Why again does the Church have a policy on fence-jumpers???

Oh yeah, that right. The American Catholic Church is actually a *political* organization.

I know, in their stout incompetency, they think their advocacy COMPASSIONATE.

But there's nothing at all Christian about what they are effectively doing. They are merely feeding the most inhumane, voracious monster in Big Government. Once the morsels are swallowed....look out feeding-hand!

The abortion aspect of Obamacare, I suspect, is nothing more than a deliberate and ingenious deflection. It's got all the Morons focused on this one detail while the larger depravity of fully socialized healthcare creapeth onward.

After all, abortion is already OVER-SUBSIDIZED by Big Government - a reality not lost upon those really, really bad people out there. See - Morons Arguing With Morons.

It's going to take a miracle so we might as well pray - for the Church to regain an iota of self-consciousness.

No Salvation For Germaphobes

During Catholic masses, they have what is called a *peace offering* towards the end. Essentially, in the spirit of Christian brotherly love, people just quickly hug or kiss their family, and then shake hands with others in proximity.

But today, my wife was shocked when the guy behind her just nodded and kept his hands by his side. Why wouldn't he shake her hand?

I got a chuckle out of Mrs. C-Nut's surprise - because this has happened to me more than a few times at our South Shore church. You see, I attend mass more frequently!

Once in a while, understandably, a non-shaker might be a little sick and, out of pure consideration, not want to infect you. But there's an art to this; one usually makes a gesture that conveys the situation. He made no such indication so more likely I think the dude was afraid of catching something from my wife.

That's what it has to be, right?

It just has to be the swing flu.

Or does it?

Except even before *pig flu hysteria* grabbed the sheeple by the horns....I'd been shunned a bunch of times during mass at this relatively new church of ours. Been going to Catholic masses in a handful of states for 35 years, as has my wife, and we can't remember this ever happening before.

These Morons are just germaphobes - and yeah, their neuroses might very well have been aggravated by Big Government alarmism.

Ultimately, after thinking on it, my wife got kind of pissed.

Mrs. C-Nut - If they're so worried about germs....then they can go run straight to the bathroom and wash their hands or use hand sanitizer or something. C'mon already!

Big Church, Big Government, And Big Stones

First off, I don't know whether this is true or not, but I heard that Ted Kennedy had the stones to ask the Pope for a funeral benediction.

Generally speaking, people usually ask for a priest, ANY PRIEST, when they are dying so that they may make a final confession of sins.

But freakin' Kennedy wanted, not to admit guilt, but rather to have the highest Catholic priest publicly whitewash his portfolio of atrocity!

Though long since brain dead, the old dog was playing politics to the very end. He had 77 full years to worry about his *legacy*, didn't he?

I hardly doubt Mother Theresa or any other virtuous types were worried about such outgoing clerical approval. Both Ted's insecurity AND his true colors manifested in this final desperate act. This piece of garbage thought all it would take was a phone call from the right man. Was there ever a doubt that to Ted, morality was always and merely a relative political construct?

Apparently the Pope did have a lengthy correspondence with an ailing Ted Kennedy and judging by the sparse press release of it,...I think it's safe to say that, thankfully, the Pope refused to oblige Ted's egomaniacial request.

But that didn't mean there wouldn't be more than a few other members of the Catholic hierarchy itching to turn Ted Kennedy's death into their own political statement - particularly in the Roman Catholic wasteland that is Massachusetts!

See local (IRISH!) Cardinal:

O’Malley, writing in his blog, also revealed the substance of a conversation he had with President Obama near the altar of the Mission Church as the congregation assembled for Saturday’s funeral. He said he told Obama that the Catholic bishops are "anxious to support a plan for universal health care, but we will not support a plan that will include a provision for abortion or could open the way to abortions in the future."

Does this mean that the Catholic Church is FOR socialized, Big Government healthcare?

They are FOR *robbing Peter to pay Paul's medical bills*?

Thou shall not steal, anyone?

Now look, first of all I was born, raised, and still consider myself a practicing Catholic.

But I've learned a bit about large institutions recently.

This Cardinal O'Malley is not a person, he's a type. Just who do y'all think ascends within the ranks of Big Business, Big Government, and Big Church?

It's the *company men*, those who do what their told, those amiable fellas who *manage up*. I would no sooner expect genuine competence in the Catholic hierarchy than I would expect it in the management of Bank of America!

I don't care - this Cardinal O'Malley, and any other person on this planet who advocates Bigger Government in light of its record of havoc, is a complete Moron.



For a minute there ponder those guidelines and one Ted Kennedy....

Adultery?

CHECK!

Murder?

CHECK!

Stealing?

CHECK!

Lying?

CHECK!

Coveting?

CHECK!

Even though the blue-blooded Kennedy didn't himself need to covet....far more damning was his relentless encouraging of millions upon millions of others to do so.

Could you imagine how stressed out you'd be if you had done what Teddy did and were on the cusp of meeting your maker?

I'm right sure that Ted's personal suffering started well in advance of his final breath.

Without Me, There'd Be Mo' Morons

Two weeks ago, my wife took my son to church while I stayed home with wild Princess C-Nut.

Later that evening, she confessed what had transpired.

Apparently, during the homily/sermon, at one point the priest said, "Okay, now bring all the children up to the altar...."

My wife, paying attention for the moment anyway, picked up our 4.65 year old son and approached the altar. You see, the kids join the priest up on the altar often at our church's family masses. So in stepping to the front, my wife was sort of gliding on auto-pilot.

The only problem was....this was a baptismal mass!!!

Furthermore, my wife didn't catch her mistake.

She stood up there, unaware that the *kids* next to her were newborns in Christening gowns, surrounded by well-clad parents and godparents.

Mrs. C-Nut said that at one point the priest stopped and looked at her funny....

How long did she make a spectacle of herself in front of the entire parish?

That's a good, painful question that remains precisely unanswered. But, does it really even matter. She obviously stayed up there WAAAAAY TOO LONG!

It suffices to say that she was embarrassed as all hell; and that she didn't feel like returning to the scene this past Sunday.

She was pissed too. My wife exclaimed, "See, this is what I get for *listening*..."

But was she really?

Me, as a fail-safe mechanism, I'd never be the first one up. Everyone knows that pioneers either get slaughtered by Indians....or they get trampled by the settlers behind them.

My wife is simply lost when I'm not around - not unlike Taylor when I take a break from blogging.

Seriously though, ten years ago in Brooklyn, Mrs C-Nut once padlocked the super for her mom's building in the basement. Why? Because the staggering Moron asked her to.

Then later on that night he called the police saying he was trapped!

We were eating dinner at the White Dog Cafe in Philadelphia when she confessed that one. And it may have indeed set our future marriage back a year or two.

Calling Out The Pious

At my local church there is a wonderful woman that stands upfront and *signs* the entire mass for whomever in the parish may be hearing impaired.

I've noticed that she keeps and sips a water bottle on her little podium. What's that all about? She doesn't *say* a single word for about an hour. How could her throat be dry?

Now I know very little about signing so perhaps it's a real athletic, real exhaustive endeavor.

But if it ain't....I say she should be allowed hand lotion but nothing more!

True Story - my brother's ex-wife, who wasn't too familiar with religious services, once cracked open a Snickers bar during Christmas Eve mass. We were sitting up front to boot!

What Separation Of Church And State?

The more history I read, the more I see humans collectively as a horde of robots. Read this Will Durant excerpt:

The piety of the people had by 1500 made the Church the economic master of Scandinavia. In Denmark half the soil was owned by the Church, and was tilled by tenants verging on serfdom. Copenhagen itself was an ecclesiastical fief. Clergy and nobility were exempt from land taxes: the nobles because they served at their own expense in war, the clergy because they organized worship, morals, education, and charity. The universities at Copenhagen and Uppsala were of course in ecclesiastical hands. The Church required a tenth, annually, of all nonecclesiastical produce or income; it exacted a small fee for every building raised, every child born, every couple married, every corpse interred; it claimed a day of gratis labor from every peasant yearly; and no one could inherit property without making a contribution to the Church as the probate court of wills. These imposts were defended as financing the ministrations of the church, but complaints rose that too much of the proceeds went to maintain bishops in regal splendor.



Now just replace the "Church" with the "State". Do you see the clear and powerful parallels with today's Big Government America?

The "imposts" today are income and corporate taxes and are much higher than 10%. They are defended as necessary for "infrastructure" like roads, schools, cops, high school football, and keeping 'old coots' from eating dog food. The "regal splendor" that they nourish is best thought of as a vast bureaucracy, career politicians, and their army of self-defensive lawyers.

Today no one can inherit property without a proper contribution to the State either - the death tax. Marriage also now bears a tax penalty. "A small fee for every building raised"? Hah! Construction is barely permitted today, even on private property - and never for a "small fee".

Universities today are run, not by "ecclesiastics" in the old sense, but rather by a monolith of evangelical socialists. Why the heck are the best and brightest young people, college students, all geeked up about dimwits like Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton? Well, Cuius regio ejus religio - it's a scholarly Latin expression meaning "whose region, his or her religion" or "the religion of the ruled must be that of the ruler." Muzzling dissent has been the most efficacious form of brainwashing throughout the ages.

While 16th century Scandinavia sported Copenhagen as an "ecclesiastical fief", today one might as well call the numerous blighted urban areas, with their government housing, schooling, and welfare fiefdoms of the State. (For good measure they fraudulently stuff the ballot box.)

The Old World clergy used to organize "worship, morals, education, and charity." Well, today's high priests of Statism have ramped it up a notch. They've graduated from organization to coercion. Thou shall worship the "environment". Thou shall not offend. Thought crimes like "hate" have been codified and sins of yore like envy have become standard tools of the State. A new moral order has been cast based upon diversity, relativism, and whatever ideo-fad that might tout favorable demographic trends (e.g amnesty for border hopping identity thieves). It goes without saying that the State has both cemented and enlarged its penchant for "charity". Welfare, entitlements, subsidized student loans, affordable housing, Head Start, ....the list is interminable. Charity my ass. It's all at once coercive redistribution, class-baiting, mind-enslavement, and LCD politics by incumbents eyeing 51% majorities.



Ah, the good ole days of 10% taxation and swift executions. Now we get lifelong torture via emasculation and the harassed productivity of 50% tax brackets. Who today wouldn't take compulsory Sunday mass attendance in exchange for a return of 10% taxation?

Modern day Statism has all the hallmarks of yesteryear's worst religions. I am hardly the first person to assert this, but the State simply became the Church. Secularists in Europe took down the Papacy by pouncing on its warts - then they incorporated the very same ones into their rule.

The odds are that whenever you hear someone today mention the "separation of church and state"....you are listening to, if not a modern day Statist, then one of their brainwashed minions.

Red Sox as Religion - Take Two

The priest at our church decided to incorporate the Red Sox into his homily today. Ugh!

I just can't get away from this nonsense.

He had all the kids (it's a children's mass) come up to sit on the altar for the sermon. A good 80% of them were dressed in Red Sox gear. This would have NEVER happened down at our church in Charlotte. There everyone wore their Sunday best. They also sung ALL the verses of the songs, they came EARLY, stayed until THE END of the mass, etc.

Pathetically, in the short time I've been at my new church, the parishioners were never more animated, more awake, than I saw them today listening to the priest yammer about what apparently REALLY MATTERED: David Ortiz, Jacoby Ellsbury, and the Sox's 3-0 lead in the World Series.

Five minutes into this absurdity, a woman in front got up and walked out, muttering all sorts of unintelligibilities as she marched down the aisle past me.

I was quite sure she was, as I was, stupefied, disgusted, and defiantly protesting the Red Sox talk but it remains unproven if that was in fact the case.

On the other hand, she could have been a possessed Yankees fan...

Today's mass really was a symbolic clash, a religious face-off if you will and the victor spoke volumes about the times (and place) I live in.