Sunday, November 08, 2009

No Salvation For Germaphobes

During Catholic masses, they have what is called a *peace offering* towards the end. Essentially, in the spirit of Christian brotherly love, people just quickly hug or kiss their family, and then shake hands with others in proximity.

But today, my wife was shocked when the guy behind her just nodded and kept his hands by his side. Why wouldn't he shake her hand?

I got a chuckle out of Mrs. C-Nut's surprise - because this has happened to me more than a few times at our South Shore church. You see, I attend mass more frequently!

Once in a while, understandably, a non-shaker might be a little sick and, out of pure consideration, not want to infect you. But there's an art to this; one usually makes a gesture that conveys the situation. He made no such indication so more likely I think the dude was afraid of catching something from my wife.

That's what it has to be, right?

It just has to be the swing flu.

Or does it?

Except even before *pig flu hysteria* grabbed the sheeple by the horns....I'd been shunned a bunch of times during mass at this relatively new church of ours. Been going to Catholic masses in a handful of states for 35 years, as has my wife, and we can't remember this ever happening before.

These Morons are just germaphobes - and yeah, their neuroses might very well have been aggravated by Big Government alarmism.

Ultimately, after thinking on it, my wife got kind of pissed.

Mrs. C-Nut - If they're so worried about germs....then they can go run straight to the bathroom and wash their hands or use hand sanitizer or something. C'mon already!


Anonymous said...

Agreed. After all, if you are going to be living forever after, then you ought to be swapping spit with these people. Then you can get to heaven more quickly, depending on the severity of infection, of course.

CaptiousNut said...

I told me wife that I was going to excoriate the next idiot to refuse shaking my hand!

Or, maybe I'll just turn around and aim a sneeze at them?

There was some d-bag in my trading pit back in the day, whom I harassed non-stop.

When I was *sick*, I used to go up and cough on the guy. Seriously.