Ask And Thou Shall Receive!

Here's an email I received today from a reader:

Hi, I have read most of your homeschooling posts. I am so amazed at your teaching capabilities and at your children's ability to grasp everything and do so well. Really, is it your kids who are super smart or do you really think any reasonably intelligent kid can perform at this level? How do you do it? Can you write a post on how you structure their day/do they never complain/ask to watch TV etc? Your son's blog posts are unbelievable. He is not even 6!!!


My son is in Kindergarten. His preschool teacher and another professional who did an evaluation said his cognitive abilities are way above his age level and in language testing for his school he tested as advanced for his age. I don't really feel the difference - but I do know he is pretty smart and he is very curious and loves to learn and thinks a lot about the things he reads about. When I see your posts I feel like I am not doing enough to nurture my son's capabilities. He may not be able to do as much as your kids have but reading your posts makes me feel like he could certainly do more. For example he reads level 2 books comfortably but if I bring him a magic tree house books (which we have read to him for a year now) he would prefer that I read it to him saying "it has too many words". I don't want to force him to read if he is not keen on reading it on his own. But I know he can do it. I have a daughter who is almost 3.5 yrs old. Your daughter is also so ahead of most kids her age.


Anyway - if you don't mind please do give me some tips or write a post on how you discipline them w/out them feeling scared or stifled as children to do so much academic work.

Okay. There are a lot of good questions in there.

Are my kids *super smart*?

I really don't know. But what I do know, is that I do many things that no other parents I have met do.

First off, increasingly my advice to EVERYONE is to eliminate color TV - eliminate it almost completely. Even an hour or 30 minutes a day, I now firmly believe, does irreparable harm to nascent brains.

I know full well how hard it is for a parent to give up this sedative crutch. Dinner needs to be cooked; phone calls need to be made; the days can be darn long for parents of young children; and losing *outside* in the winter-time is a damn tough void to fill. After all, the brats are up 14 hours a day!

But still, the TV needs to go. (BTW, *educational television* is an oxymoron in my book.)

It's going to be tough to pull this off if Mom and Dad sit in the living room everyday and stare at the idiot box themselves. I only watch television in my bed, late at night, far out of sight from impressionable children; and when they come into my bedroom in the wee hours I immediately turn it off - like I'm a teenager sneaking a drag! Our living room television NEVER gets used. When someone comes over, namely Grandpa, and puts the ballgame on....I turn it off right away and tell him to play with or read to his precious grandkids. My kids are now at the point where they think people who watch TV all day are practically diseased. They call their grandmother, the MIL who lives with us, they call her *TV-head*!

Once the TV and the video game player are gone....kids' imaginations will percolate naturally and seek an outlet. I remember reading about some homeschool mother who couldn't get her kids to read until they went on a *around-the-world* sail. Eventually, on the boat and bored out of their minds, the kids picked up those dusty books and magically morphed into voracious readers.

Look, I don't blame your son for not wanting to read those Magic Tree House books by himself - they are brutal!

In fact, my wife has been long dreading having to read them to our daughter.

If memory serves me, most of those books my son read along with his mother. (I co-read a few at the end.) I believe she coerced some reading out of him as he was prone to offer the exact same rebellion. I think she made him read a paragraph here and there, and then the first page of each chapter or something. That was the deal, if he wanted to be read to that night...

Having bashed the books, I must say my son absolutely loved them. They are a great intro to history, science, biography, and geography. Click here to read the post I wrote on them last year.

One thought on reading to your child...

I've heard homeschoolers who are really into reading (Charlotte Mason-types) say that while it's important for a child to read to and along with a parent, it's also important to have some books that are strictly read to them - even up through advanced ages like 14.

So what you could do is read a few books at a time, and stagger the reading levels. Have some easy stuff that he should read on his own; then the intermediate level material like the Tree House series; and a higher tier of books that you read to him without any pressure for him to help out. For that last group I suggest the Great Illustrated Classics: Ben Hur, Robin Hood, War of the Worlds, The Time Machine, etc. All libraries have them.

And for the easier stuff that you want your son to be totally self-propelled in I suggest looking at the goofier books. My son loves the graphic novels more than anything; he simply devours them in single sittings. And I think what really got him into those were the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books.

Mostly just keep your eyes peeled (after you have removed the tele-mind-poison!) for whatever seems to pique his interest. Once you find it, start reading the book and then procrastinate finishing it. This will cultivate his desire to discover the ending and read it himself! I believe this momentous event happened with my son in the Andrew Lost series.

Okay, so how do I structure my day?

After breakfast, always stay at the table for *seatwork*. If they tire, tell them to go get dressed and take a 15 minute break. Use the timer; be strict. At this point, my kids just think it completely normal to do workbooks every single day. Yeah, all summer, and Saturdays and Sundays included! We even do work in the morning when out at beach houses, when house-guests, on ferry boats, on park picnic tables, and in the backseat of our car. Everything might be a deal - if you want to go to the park...you must do X pages of this workbook. You can have dessert AFTER you finish your *work*. Read my guest post for more on my *work, work, work* philosophy.

I guess when I look back, my daily edu-structure was to start early, taking breaks all morning long for dressing, LEGOS, outside time, lunch, drawing, computer time, etc., with the end goal of being done by 3pm.  At that time, I would generally take my kids to the playground for 2-3 hours (or the pool in the summer).

My kids are older now and involved in many organized activities so a somewhat variable schedule dictates when we do our work. But mainly it's still done in the AM.

For a schooled child, family reading at night, which you obviously do, is a no-brainer. If there's an opening for additional work, I'm guessing it's on the weekends and those vacation-type days.

I say just do 15-20 minutes for starters on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Once the regimen is in place, it's fairly easy to ramp it up.

Of course, most all kids will push back; they are simply testing the parents. In that case Mom and Dad have to take away something. I know very few parents who actually mean *no* when they say it, very few who follow through on threats to 3,4,5, and 17 year olds. I am most certainly not that person. I am as strict as they come. And yeah, I do smack them here and there for emphasis.

And I completely understand that the last thing a working parent wants to do at night is come home and discipline a child....but sometimes often that needs to be done, sternly.

It's amazing how smart these kids are. Mine give my wife such a hard time for things they WOULDN'T dare try on me. But she's soft, Italian, works 12 hours a day, and is *their mother*. As I type this I just had to go up and stop my daughter from screaming her head off after my first wife put her to bed. The second I opened her door and she saw me the ducts went dry and she laid down. I deadpanned:

"If you don't stop crying right now, I'm going to take away your night-light and your radio..."

My wife simply does not demand or command that type of respect.

As my kids have gotten older, they've learned not to mess with my *if-then* threats and have become far better behaved - particularly my son. That's the hard part about 3 year olds....they just don't comprehend threats yet!

I am by no means a sage Greek god or anything - heck I've only been a parent for 6 years. Pretty much all I do differently is more work, more discipline, more one-on-one instruction, far less TV, and far less scurrying around. Oh yeah, and I do a whole lot of computer-based stuff with them. I've yet to meet anyone else who utilizes the PC even a fraction as much for learning as we do here. Definitely keep that in mind.

One question from the email I haven't answered yet:

Really, is it your kids who are super smart or do you really think any reasonably intelligent kid can perform at this level?

First of all, let me say that the 5.99 year old Prince is incredibly slow and lazy! There are a host of things he doesn't do well at all - probably a good subject for a future post.

I hear it, and sense it, all the time - that my child is an aberration. "He's C-Nut's son, so of course he's a genius."

Those would-be geneticists need to meet my father....(sorry, Dad!)

Heck even my own mother, who's well aware of how much time we spend personally educating our kids, has remarked, "I think he (the Prince) is just really, really smart."

I can't tell you how much that comment infuriated me and my wife - if only for a year or two. Note my mother is a government school teacher, so no one who's paying attention a little bit should be surprised.

There are many reasons I publicize my children's educational progress. Sure I'm proud of them, and of myself, but to infer mere boasting would be erroneous.  I believe in homeschooling so much and disbelieve in age-graded, curriculum-bound government schools so much more that by sharing our experiences and successes in this space I hope my posting will inspire others.

Can other kids do what mine are doing?

They most certainly can - and go far beyond!

See my posts on these two important books - books that dovetail perfectly with my everyday edu-regimen:

Outliers - A Must Read

Book Rec - Talent Is Over-rated

One final note - because I could go on forever(!) - reading is important but there are plenty of other fun and effective ways you can supplement your son's education.

Of course there's art and music. Does he like to build? Everyone knows about LEGOS, but there's also Knex and Erector Sets. And my son absolutely loves Snap Circuits.

The term *afterschoolers* describes parents who try to supplement school work on their own. In fact I know a guy who tried to formalize this endeavor with his daughter, for years. It simply doesn't work - for a variety of reasons. And this guy has since pulled his daughter out of the system entirely.

Fire Island - Good Ratios and Mucho Dinero

Guess what....I think that is actually IT - the entire school district!

Well, not exactly.

Some guy today, an independent educator, told me he periodically teaches classes out there on that sandbar where Barney Frank hangs out.

He said that in grades K through 2nd....there were only about 6 kids, TOTAL.

As an expensive NY beach town/destination, Fire Island certainly has a nice property tax base.

Except no one lives there year-round (outside of some Coast Guard families).

Therefore the district spends something insane, like $50,000 per pupil annually!

I assume there's some (state?) ridiculous law that requires this town to have a fully-equipped school system - replete with special ed, handicap ramps, a nurse, a librarian, administrators, etc.

Homeschool Paperwork - More Problems Bubbling?

To homeschool in the state of New York a parent must:

File a 2-sentence letter of intent by July 1st

File an IHIP - Individualized Home Instruction Plan - by August 15th

File quarterly progress reports and an annual report by year-end

Recall I've already had a good deal of *friction* with the local school district over the letter of intent and the content of my IHIP. See - An Educrat's Intro To Homeschooling.

The *special ed* woman assigned to deal with me is 100% irretrievably stupid. I brought her to tears about two months ago by communicating her incompetence to the Board of Ed and her superintendent.

I figured she'd be so shell-shocked from that episode that she'd be petrified to hassle me, ever again.

I even thought hard about leveraging my strong hand and pushing the envelope a little by submitting a bare-bones, detail-light quarterly report. Check out what Angela from CitySchooling submits:

SCHOOL YEAR 2009-2010
QUARTERLY REPORT #2


HOMESCHOOLING STUDENT: ____________________
STUDENT I.D. # : (optional)
GRADE LEVEL: 3
THIS QUARTER COVERS: 11/16/09 to 1/30/10
DATE SUBMITTED: January 30, 2010



_______ is progressing at a satisfactory level or above in all subject matter.

We have had instruction in all the following areas, as per Section 100.10 of the Regulations of the New York State Commissioner of Education and ________’s Individualized Home Instruction Plan (IHIP): Reading, Writing, Spelling, Language Arts, Arithmetic, U.S. History, Geography, Science, Health, Physical Education, Music, and Visual Arts.

We have covered at least 80% of the planned material for this quarter.

________ had no absences from instruction this quarter, and has exceeded the required hours of instruction (225).



_______________________________
Parent’s Signature

Short and sweet, eh?!

Well, I did in fact use that template, but then I wimped out...I added a list of completed workbooks, a list of educational field trips, a list of books that my son has recently read, AND the 4th grade curriculum outline from Time4Learning.

It took me all of 20 minutes and I figured that by being somewhat thorough and going beyond my legal obligations that I would be rationally saving myself time, energy, and hassle in the process. (Plus it might be a good idea to keep a full record of my son's work anyway.)

However...

After emailing my quarterly report in, this Moronic bureaucrat responded back saying that she would need a signed hard copy!

So of course I asked other homeschoolers if they had used email and took another close look at the law. No where does it say I have to send a signed copy of my quarterly. All it states is that I must *furnish* the report to them. And others have told me they have strict email-only filing relationships with their government school districts.

I haven't responded yet and I'm not sure that I even will. As far as I'm concerned, I've submitted it and she's acknowledged receipt.

Even though it would take 10 seconds to print the thing out and put it in the mail I'm compelled to flout this woman's extra-legal demands, yet again.

Two of the things I hate most on this Gaia-forsaken planet are mail and stupidity.

Occasionally I might give one of them a pass, but never the *combo*!

Working Weekends

Blog traffic is always 30% lighter on weekends since *wage slaves* are furloughed and thus not at their desk surfing the web.

Given that and other farsighted considerations....I've decided to lighten up my blog posting on Saturdays and Sundays - perhaps even ending it altogether. Instead, I'll aim to use that time to concentrate on my new *education* website. Hopefully I'll be far enough along by the spring that I can unveil it by then.

Homemade Homeschool Math

These days I'm making my own my mathsheets for the 5.98 year old Prince:

Click any of them to enlarge.

While he can do 7th grade math....that doesn't mean that he completely understands it.

So here we're in a constant state of drills and review.

While my son is still using some math texts (Life of Fred and Singapore Math), with my daughter I've decided to step aside from the workbooks completely. Here's the assignment I gave the 4.42 year old Princess yesterday:

Recently I started saving and scanning these worksheets. We'll see if they amount to anything substantial over time.

After all, that's how the Kumon guy got started - from making homemade worksheets for his kids.

Daily Priceless Sunsets

This is the view from the top of our street.

We get to enjoy these magnificent sunset skyline views of Manhattan....365 days a year.

Click to enlarge.

Alright, admittedly these views cost a little more than *priceless*.

Post Office = Federally Subsidized Trash Dissemination System

Hah!

Of course, that ain't really news to anyone with a clue.

Morons have all sorts of ideas to stem the tide: cut delivery to fewer days, raise postage rates, allow them to NOT FUND their future retiree benefits(!), etc.

But all that amounts to mere tinkering - rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

The US Post Office should simply be ABOLISHED, tomorrow.

We do not need mail. And if we do....a private company will arise to satisfy market demand.

Plus....taxpayer subsidized mail is an environmental disaster!

I seriously get pissed off when I see that guy in the white truck swing by my house, 6 days a week, and deposit trash on my property.

95% of which I just dump right into a receptacle, which is shortly thereafter emptied by another inefficient taxpayer-subsidized arm of the government.

Aliens from above must be watching this insanity and wondering if there might be another intelligent species SOMEWHERE ELSE in the universe.

For Wannabe Ideal Wives

100 Ways You Can Love Your Husband ~ HIS Way

1. Respectfully communicate with him.

2. Let him know he’s important to you.

3. Purposefully try to understand his feelings—even when you disagree with him.

4. Show interest in his friends giving him some time with them if they’re trust-worthy.

5. Let go of the small stuff. We all have annoying habits and preferences that are different from our spouse’s. (Dave Ramsey)

6. Tell him you both love him AND like him.

7. Either show interest in his hobbies or allow him space to participate freely. (Dave Ramsey)

8. Protect his dignity on a daily basis.

9. Be tender with him realizing he has feelings also.

10. Foster an atmosphere of laughter in your home. Look for ways to laugh together.

11. Try not to make sudden major changes without discussion and giving him time to adjust.

12. When you go out on a date together don’t bring up problems—have fun instead.

13. Focus on what he’s doing right, instead of focusing so often on the negatives.

14. Show interest in what he feels is important in life.

15. Give him special time with you apart from the children.

16. Recognize that the first few minutes after a spouse comes home often sets the stage for how the rest of the evening will go. So try to make the first few minutes a positive experience. (And then ease into the negative if it’s necessary.)

17. Give him half an hour to unwind after he gets home from work. Your evenings will be much more enjoyable. (Dave Ramsey)

18. Don’t allow any family member to treat him disrespectfully. Be the one to defend him to any family member that dishonors his place as your husband.

19. Compliment him often.

20. Be creative when you express your love, both in words and in actions.

21. Talk with him about having specific family goals for each year to work on to achieve together so you will both feel closer to each other as a marital team.

22. Don’t over commit yourself. Leave time for him.

23. Extend God’s grace to him and be forgiving when he offends you.

24. Find ways to show him you need him.

25. Give him time to be alone. (This energizes him to reconnect at other times.)

26. Admit your mistakes; don’t be afraid to be humble. Peel away your pride.

27. Defend him to those who disrespectfully talk about him. Remember that love protects

28. Respect his desire to do well—not his performance.

29. Rub his feet or neck, or scratch his back after a hard day.

30. Take time for the two of you to sit and talk calmly (schedule it when necessary).

31. Initiate going out on romantic outings (when he’s not tired).

32. Email him when he’s at work, telling him how much you love him.

33. Surprise him with a fun gift of some kind that he’d really enjoy.

34. Express how much you appreciate him for working so hard to support the family.

35. Tell him how proud you are of him for who he is (giving him specific reasons).

36. Give advice in a loving way — not in a nagging or belittling way.

37. Help your husband to be the Spiritual head at home (without “lording” it over him).

38. Reserve some energy for him so you’re not so tired when he wants you sexually.

39. Don’t expect him to do projects beyond his natural capabilities.

40. Pray for him to enjoy God’s best in life.

41. Take special notice for what he has done for you and the family.

42. Brag about him to other people both in front of him and even when he’s not there.

43. Share your feelings with him at appropriate times (but keep it brief when he’s tired—sometimes men can feel “flooded” by too many words).

44. Tell him 3 things you specifically appreciate about him.

45. Honor him in front of the children (differ respectfully in private when necessary).

46. Give him time to unwind for a little while after he comes home from work. Arrange ahead of time to take your “time out”, giving him a few minutes with the children.

47. Get up with him, even when he gets up earlier than you want to and pray with him. (Hopefully you can go back to sleep afterwards. If not, it’s a sacrifice worth making.)

48. Be his “help-mate” in whatever ways you sense he needs it.

49. Do some shoulder-to-shoulder activities with him (like watching a movie or taking a drive together) without talking. Sometimes men just like to BE with you and not talk.

50. Be a student of his ways so you show your love in ways he best comprehends it.

51. When your husband is in a bad mood give him time to recover. Don’t crowd him.

52. Help him to finish his goals, hobbies, or education when your see he needs it.

53. Treat him as if God has stamped on his forehead: “Handle With Care.”

54. Work to get rid of habits that annoy him.

55. Be kind and thoughtful to his relatives. Don’t make him choose between you.

56. Don’t compare his relatives with yours in a negative way.

57. Thank him for things he’s done around the house. (It means a lot to men).

58. Don’t expect credit for all you do for him. Do it as “unto the Lord.”

59. Make sure he agrees with everything important that you’re planning to do.

60. Do little things for him— let him sleep in, bring him coffee and/or breakfast in bed, etc.

61. Don’t belittle his intelligence or be cynical in your words with him.

62. Initiate sex periodically. And respond more often.

63. Sometimes let him enjoy his day off work without having to “work” at home.

64. Get to the point in your discussions. Spare him details unless he wants them.

65. Discover his sexual needs.

66. Surprise him with a 15 second kiss when he gets home from work.

67. Wink at him from across the room when you’re out at a group function.

68. Give him the benefit of the doubt when he mis-speaks.

69. Don’t quarrel over words.

70. Be kind and courteous with him. (Don’t be kinder to strangers than to him.)

71. When things go wrong, instead of assessing blame, focus on how to do better.

72. As a kindness, don’t say, “I told you so.”

73. Try not to argue over money. Peacefully discuss future expenditures instead.

74. Take him out on dates—pre-planning all of the details ahead of time.

75. Hold his hand and snuggle up close to him at times both at home and in public.

76. Praise his good decisions; minimize the bad ones.

77. Tell him you love him more often.

78. Put love notes in his pockets and brief case.

79. Sit with him while he’s watching TV—even if the program doesn’t interest you.

80. Don’t expect him to read your mind. (Family’s are spared grief when a husband isn’t required to read their wife’s mind despite the fact that the wife thinks he should.)

81. Periodically, give him time with his family alone.

82. Check with him before you throw away his papers and stuff. (He may view them as more important than you realize.)

83. Work to keep yourself in shape in every way.

84. Let him express himself freely, without fear of being called stupid or illogical.

85. Carefully choose your words. Remember to “speak the truth in LOVE.”

86. Don’t criticize him in front of others—keeping his dignity in tact.

87. Visit his childhood home with him.

88. When you’re angry, express it in respectful ways. Don’t give the silent treatment.

89. Pray for him.

90. Make him homemade soup when he’s sick.

91. Look your best—dress to honor him and make him proud to be seen with you.

92. Support him when someone tries to put him down. Be his best cheer leader.

93. Don’t disagree with him in front of the children.

94. Take him for a weekend get-away without the children.

95. Cheer his successes whether in business or in other areas of everyday living.

96. Graciously teach him how to demonstrate his love for you.

97. Give him coupons to redeem—maybe for a back scratch or a shoulder rub.

98. Buy him a gift certificate to his favorite lunch spot and put it in his wallet.

99. Hide notes for him around the house where only he will find them.

100. Thank him for just being himself.

I found that on a *chick* blog that I'm too embarrassed to credit. So instead, here's the original source.

I haven't even read the list. But all it took was a initial glance and off it went, emailed to my wife along with a reminder to *read it on the train, every night!*.

It reminded me of what I did before her bridal shower. Into the gift pile I inserted a hilarious wrapped present from anon.

In the interest of fairness, I just Googled for *ideal husband* but didn't come up with much. Although, Maureen Dowd has broached the subject - her of all people! Perhaps our friend Anne Galivan can fill in this void.

I'm guess that any 100 bullet points written by women on the ideal dude will at least mention -*minimum blast radius*...

At Least Another ONE Out There!

There just aren't that many *homeschool dads* out there - I don't think.

Although the other day, while pondering my absence from the nominees for the Best Homeschool Dad Blog Award, I did come across another male who looks like a very active homeschooling parent - Almighty Dad.

Get this he also went to HS in Massachusetts and he's the exact same age as I am.

The similarities continue:

Look at that, he's almost as ripped as me!

I think he's a martial arts instructor or something so he'd probably last more than a round with me...

From what I can tell, his blog is well-written and widely-read and, surprise, surprise, he also sports a pagerank of 4.

What Is This?

Speed stacking?

Though, in fairness, visiting aliens might also conclude that spending 5 hours whacking a little white dimpled ball all over an 18 hole track is just as ridiculous.

Libertarians Should Resonate

It's amazing, but NO ONE in New York cares that a librarian gets compensated like a Knick point guard:

Warren Redlich of Libertarian Party said the head of the New York Library makes $689,000 a year. "Now I know it’s a big library, but that’s a little much," he said. "There are 110,000 bureaucrats in New York State who make over $100,000 a year. We can save nearly $3 billion if we cap bureaucrat pay at $100,000 a year and cap pensions at $75,000," Redlich added.

Alas, Mr. Redlich, whom I voted for, only garnered about 46,000 votes in his bid to become governor.

Libertarians are still waiting for their messiah. Ron Paul is okay, but at his age, certainly not the one.

But check out this guy - Andre Marrou. If only we could go back in time, and pull him forward to the present!

As impressive as he is, I had never even heard of him before tonight. Videos and web info on him are almost nonexistent.

That clip I just played....had only 400 hits! And look how bare his Wikipedia link is!

QE - A Bailout For Big Oil

That chart isn't up-to-date.

At the moment, the oil retrace is back near $90 a barrel.

The economy has handled oil that expensive before.

It's just that last time it was there, PEOPLE HAD JOBS and BONUSES so they could potentially afford the higher prices at the pump, their property values weren't as far underwater, and savers were earning more than 60 basis points on their cash.

Tonight I paid $3.20 a gallon on Long Island for regular, self-serve.

Unless quantitative easing currency debasement is ended as the official national economic recovery plan....I expect to see $5 gasoline within 2 years time.

Maybe I will get that Hyundai Sonata after all!

Homeschooling Zen

So I'm reading this book right now - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance - and it's pretty darn good.

I had never heard of it before recently but apparently it's been out since I was in utero - 1974 - and it's become sort of an instant cult classic despite having initially been rejected by 121 publishers (a Guinness World Record for bestsellers!).

While it's a great book, I don't know that I'll do much of a post on it when completed. But I do want to mention, especially to those out there that have probably already read it and didn't notice, that on page 195 or so it most certainly becomes full-fledged *homeschooling propaganda*.

So if you did read it long ago, it might be worth another look with fresh, wiser eyes.

The author's story is interesting as well. And I do feel a touch bad that I just laughed real hard at this sentence on his Wikipedia bio:

In 1979, Pirsig's son Chris, who figured prominently in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, was stabbed to death during a mugging outside the San Francisco Zen Center.

I guess Chris refused to surrender his *zen* or *chi*!

Who wants rapidly depreciating dollars anyway?

Criminal Fro Trimmers

Clipped from John Stossel.

Ohhhhh - You Is So Wrong!

Click to enlarge and see if you can spot the *challenge*.

See if you can reconcile the second sentence with the ultimate sentence!

These Singapore Math books are just littered with mistakes. I don't understand how the bleep Frank Schaffer Publications could have published them. And I don't understand how the bleep major booksellers agreed to peddle such sloppy content.

I mean, what could me more frustrating for a kid learning or struggling with math than to assign impossible or incoherent questions???

And, again, it would only take someone of slight mathematical aptitude maybe 2 hours to edit the entire book.

Furthermore, it's by no means just this text. Almost every website I've visited with *sample SAT questions* and other math problems is similarly riddled with egregious mistakes.  It's potboiler math!

See also - ESL Homeschool Math.

Living With The MIL Chronicles 4 - Leading 'Old Coots' To Water

It was painful and took MONTHS of convincing, but I finally got my MIL to buy a new computer.

Though maybe it wasn't necessarily my persuasion that did the trick. It might have been the fact that HER COMPUTER WOULDN'T BOOT UP.

In fact, it was so bad that you couldn't even start it up in *safe mode*.

Being five years old and no doubt riddled with viruses and malware, it was certainly time anyway.

'Old coots' just ALWAYS get computer viruses. But that's what happens when they forward emails to EVERYONE in their inbox, ALL THE TIME.

I told my MIL that she positively has to get rid of her AOL email account because, first of all, it costs her money (she pays for *technical support*!). Secondly, clearly her inbox has already been a portal for viruses. So it'd be downright Moronic to access it from the brand new computer I ordered and set up for her, wouldn't it?

But she won't change and doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to *learn a new email system* - because they are soooooo complicated.

She also leaves her computer on perpetually. And it's not just on, browsers are open as is her AOL inbox.

Now I don't care what anyone says - and I've heard the techno-quacks myself. One should not leave a computer on all the time. The fan is running hard and the longer connected to the internet, the more prone a PC to those ubiquitous viruses.

You know what, fine. Leave it on all day, mine essentially is. But there's NO REASON whatsoever not to turn it off at night.

I even put an e-sticky note reminder on the middle of my MIL's screen *TURN OFF PC AT NIGHT* but she still won't heed it. She actually tried to tell me *I don't think it's bad...* before I cut her off. Now all of a sudden she's a computer expert. Behold this one:

The other day she went into Manhattan to pay homage listen to Karl Rove at some event. After she left I walked up to her PC - which hasn't been turned off in maybe weeks - and turned it off.

But when she got home, she had NO IDEA how to turn the computer back on. Completely helpless, she called me frantically...

CaptiousNut - Do you see the big box under the desk? That's the CPU. Press the button in the middle of it.

MIL - I don't see it.

CaptiousNut - It's a circle in the middle of the box.

Now, after much agony, she probably found it and may have even pressed it.

MIL - IT'S NOT WORKING.

CaptiousNut - Calm down.

MIL - IT'S NOT WORKING!

CaptiousNut - Calm down. We just turned the CPU on. Now we have to turn the monitor on.

Oh, and forget that. New monitors today have those semi-invisible buttons built into the frame. She couldn't find that either. On the road and at my wit's end, I had to end the *tech support* call.

Essentially, despite spending 10 hours a day on the computer - forwarding and reading political nonsense - she HAS NO IDEA how to even turn a computer on. It's only two buttons, right?

Forget it. My MIL and technology make oil and water look like life-long best friends!

But they're all disasters with it, these 'old coots' and 'old bags'.

Check out my own parents:

I Swear...

My Crazy Parents - 1 - Tiny Pics

See also:

Living With The MIL Chronicles 3 - Already Over?

Living With The MIL Chronicles 2 - Off The Hook Phone Ringing

Living With The MIL Chronicles - 1

Newlywed Numerologists

A few weeks ago I attended the baptism of my niece and nephew.

I was BS'ing with the priest and asked him why that day, a Saturday, the church was free for him to do a private baptism.

After all, October is the most popular month for weddings. I'll bet y'all thought it was June, right?

It turns out, a handful of couples wanted him to marry them the next day, Sunday October 10th.

Now why is that? Sunday weddings are a pain in the arse for anyone that has to travel. Not to mention, more than a few people, close relatives(!) might be unable to attend on account of their pagan worship of an American football team. Catholics, so far as I can tell, simply do not do Sunday weddings.

Except this particular Sunday would read "10/10/10" on the invitations. And that symmetrical date must have appealed to more than a few pinheaded couples!

Priest - They all wanted 10/10...

CaptiousNut - What, are they numerologists or something?

Priest - THAT'S WHAT I WAS WONDERING!

I know someone who waited a whole other year, drawing the engagement out to 1.57 years because they were dead-set on a having a June wedding.

Guess what....it freakin' POURED - ALL WEEKEND LONG that long-awaited June.

May God curse the unions of those numeric pagans!

Sorry About The Last One...

As if the food wasn't UNAPPETIZING enough!

Those Barefoot Wackos, Again

Recall that some time ago, shoeless wackos descended on my blog post - Is Your Brood Shod? - and ran the discussion up to 100 freakin' comments.

Well the barefoot movement has really taken off, apparently. Not only are people shedding footwear....they're running marathons and whatnot unshod!

And I count myself among the converts - around the house anyway. Shoes are 100% unnatural, a bailout for the feet. Like all bailouts, there are substantial unforeseen side-effects and they're doomed to continual, escalating failure.

Consider this excerpt from a New York Times article this week:

As the practice has grown in popularity, however, it has drawn criticism from podiatrists who say there is no scientific research that shows barefoot running reduces injuries. The American Podiatric Medical Association recently released a statement urging runners to be wary of the method, noting the lack of peer-reviewed studies and expressing concern it could lead to puncture wounds from road debris or added stress in the lower extremities.

Hah!

I'm like so wicked shocked that podiatrists are officially against barefootedness!

Without shoes they won't sell any of those expensive, useless inserts that constitute the sweet spot of their 150k average salary.

This is perfectly analogous to those quack back doctors who examined me and could only come up with taking Vioxx/Celebrex FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE....and expensive, invasive, dubious surgery instead of yoga. And this is the same certified guild that looks with disdain upon *chiropractors*.

One point of irony worth a mention here is that, I believe in the doctor pecking order, at near the very bottom dwell podiatrists. I don't think technically they even attend *med school*. The way I always understood it, podiatry was for the medical school applicant manqué. Look ---> a link!

The New Recurring Homeschool Question

When my son was a little younger, and I was pontificating on homeschooling (and the only parent in my peer group actually having the kids do *work), I was continually asked:

"Are you REALLY going to homeschool?"

But now that my son is at the age (6) where he's legally supposed to be in school, but isn't(!)....I'm continually bombarded with a new question:

"So HOW LONG are you going to homeschool?"

In fact last night I told my wife I had be asked this so much I was going to mention it on my blog.

She replied that she had suffered that same line of inquiry just yesterday!

I give a diplomatic answer:

CaptiousNut - I have no idea where or what I'm going to be doing in 5-6 years. If you had told me, 6 years ago, that I would relocate from Brooklyn to North Carolina, start blogging, then move up to Boston, have two kids, move to a coastal town south of Boston I'd never heard of and LOVE IT, decide to homeschool, and them move to Long Island - a place I'd never been fond of - AND MOVE IN WITH MY FREAKIN' MIL....I'd have thought you were crazy....So I really have no idea what the future holds for me, if I'm going to be homeschooling or what.

And that answer does pacify the interrogator. From my response they take that *I probably won't homeschool my kids forever* and that my kids *will eventually become normal, go to high school, and then college*.

Now if I instead express my ACTUAL current belief - that my ultimate goal is for my kids to NEVER step foot in a school or college - that will definitely provoke some discomfort.

Of course the appalling irony is:

While these people are explicitly questioning my MY long term plans....it's actually THEM who don't have any!

I'm the one who's spent considerable time contemplating how I want my kids to turn out and researching how best to achieve that end.

And THEY have done nothing whatsoever in this department!

Blindly following groupthink and inertia just DOES NOT constitute a thoughtful, comprehensive parenting or educational plan.

Still Passing Milestones

Sometime last night Marginalizing Morons recorded its 600,000th hit!

While that puts me far below my ambitious goal for 2010 of 1 million hits, it shows that I'm still chugging along hit-wise anyway.

My traffic would have had to double - from 1,000 daily hits to 2,000 - to reach anywhere near my target.

Ironically, it did in fact double over the past six months.

It's just that sometime in the spring (March?), my traffic was mysteriously halved (Google algorithm change?) down to a mere 500 hits per day - before slowly creeping back up to 1,000.

That was indeed very frustrating, as is looking at 0% YoY overall blog traffic growth, but what exactly am I going to do about it? What Google giveth....Google can certainly taketh away.

On the other hand, I could blame: the economy, Obama, and maybe MyFace.com!