Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Living With The MIL Chronicles 4 - Leading 'Old Coots' To Water

It was painful and took MONTHS of convincing, but I finally got my MIL to buy a new computer.

Though maybe it wasn't necessarily my persuasion that did the trick. It might have been the fact that HER COMPUTER WOULDN'T BOOT UP.

In fact, it was so bad that you couldn't even start it up in *safe mode*.

Being five years old and no doubt riddled with viruses and malware, it was certainly time anyway.

'Old coots' just ALWAYS get computer viruses. But that's what happens when they forward emails to EVERYONE in their inbox, ALL THE TIME.

I told my MIL that she positively has to get rid of her AOL email account because, first of all, it costs her money (she pays for *technical support*!). Secondly, clearly her inbox has already been a portal for viruses. So it'd be downright Moronic to access it from the brand new computer I ordered and set up for her, wouldn't it?

But she won't change and doesn't want to hear it. She doesn't want to *learn a new email system* - because they are soooooo complicated.

She also leaves her computer on perpetually. And it's not just on, browsers are open as is her AOL inbox.

Now I don't care what anyone says - and I've heard the techno-quacks myself. One should not leave a computer on all the time. The fan is running hard and the longer connected to the internet, the more prone a PC to those ubiquitous viruses.

You know what, fine. Leave it on all day, mine essentially is. But there's NO REASON whatsoever not to turn it off at night.

I even put an e-sticky note reminder on the middle of my MIL's screen *TURN OFF PC AT NIGHT* but she still won't heed it. She actually tried to tell me *I don't think it's bad...* before I cut her off. Now all of a sudden she's a computer expert. Behold this one:

The other day she went into Manhattan to pay homage listen to Karl Rove at some event. After she left I walked up to her PC - which hasn't been turned off in maybe weeks - and turned it off.

But when she got home, she had NO IDEA how to turn the computer back on. Completely helpless, she called me frantically...

CaptiousNut - Do you see the big box under the desk? That's the CPU. Press the button in the middle of it.

MIL - I don't see it.

CaptiousNut - It's a circle in the middle of the box.

Now, after much agony, she probably found it and may have even pressed it.


CaptiousNut - Calm down.


CaptiousNut - Calm down. We just turned the CPU on. Now we have to turn the monitor on.

Oh, and forget that. New monitors today have those semi-invisible buttons built into the frame. She couldn't find that either. On the road and at my wit's end, I had to end the *tech support* call.

Essentially, despite spending 10 hours a day on the computer - forwarding and reading political nonsense - she HAS NO IDEA how to even turn a computer on. It's only two buttons, right?

Forget it. My MIL and technology make oil and water look like life-long best friends!

But they're all disasters with it, these 'old coots' and 'old bags'.

Check out my own parents:

I Swear...

My Crazy Parents - 1 - Tiny Pics

See also:

Living With The MIL Chronicles 3 - Already Over?

Living With The MIL Chronicles 2 - Off The Hook Phone Ringing

Living With The MIL Chronicles - 1

1 comment:

Paul Mitchell said...

According to my mother, who has done accounting for the military for 25 years, on a computer no doubt, she doesn't use a program to access the internet or e-mail. Really.