Monday, April 14, 2008
Marginalizing Men Who Brunch
I can't think of a bigger waste of time, a bigger waste of humanity than waiting 30 minutes for a brunch table at 11am on a weekend. You people toting your newspapers, lattes, and wireless laptops certainly aren't winners.
I just don't get it. In my book, one toils all week so he can do what he really wants to do in life on his days off. If someone's weekly prize is sleeping late and a mushroom quiche then I pity their sad existence. Quite frankly, they probably need a new career and some new hobbies - or perhaps a primer on masculine couple obligations, i.e. she can very well brunch with her friends.
What about the women who crave brunch?
Well, since they can't cook eggs (due to impatience and excessive heat) they get a genetic pardon. The brunch menu obviously caters to the fairer sex, which most certainly buttresses my contention. Remember to never argue with the dictums of the free market. But seriously, breakfast foods are the easiest of all to make, the cheapest, the fastest, and pretty darn easy to clean up. So why turn a simple functional task into a grand production that wastes a good chunk of your precious weekend?
Real men are up at the crack of dawn on Saturday (without an alarm clock!) - either beating golf balls, fishing for largemouth, stalking deer, or doing something otherwise manly like washing their car.
They certainly aren't licking their chops for frittate or for Gingerbread Waffles with Apple & Vanilla Bean Compote (link).