Saturday, December 25, 2010

Don't Ask....She'll Cry And You Might Be Abetting Murder

I've Marginalized a lot of people over the years on this blog.

But one sub-population that I've forgotten to indict consists of those - mostly women - who run up to my wife and ask her what I gave her for Christmas, Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, our anniversary, or her birthday.

The fact that I usually bought her next-to-nothing is between me and her. So please don't throw gasoline on the fire. Thanks. It's not my fault she's impossible to buy for and has ZERO hobbies.

One of the differences between us is that when I say I don't want anything for (fill in the blank holiday) I ACTUALLY MEAN IT.

One of the numerous side benefits of reading the Bible and becoming more spiritual is that I can skimp on gifts even more now, deprecating the rank commercialization of Jesus' birthday.

I don't believe in indiscriminate season's greetings.

So Merry Christmas to SOME of y'all out there.


DU said...

Just a thought. You could buy something for her that you would like for one of your children to have someday. Something of fine quality that will last generations. You will fulfill your duty in the present and enhance your legacy in the future.

As for me, I just ask for a list of what my wife would like. She has learned after 20 years that I can't read her mind, even though she would still love for me to be able to do it in regards to things she wants me to know but doesn't want to tell me.

Justin Time said...

DU, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you are a jeweler?

The problem I have with buying from a list is that the gift giving action has evolved from "nice gesture" to "requirement".

If you are buying from a list, there is no real thought put into it, and you are pretty much only doing it to satisfy the social peer pressures.

Don't get me wrong, I do the same thing, but I am waaaay too cheap to spend any real money in the process. I just buy her stuff that we're gonna need to buy anyway.

And as for the jewelry...I'll gladly forgo buying a piece of overpriced scrap metal now in an attempt to avoid eating cat food in retirement...

CaptiousNut said...


If I buy my wife what she supposedly wants....I'll still mess it up!

Plus, she likes to buy these things, herself. I can't deprive her of a trip to the mall!

I bought her jewelry once before. She said she liked it; never wore it; and wouldn't let me return it. It was a $400 bracelet I think.

After that I told her I'd never buy her jewelry again. Have kept my word too.


Careful with that dog/cat food alarmism - it comes from the diehard socialists. Stories of seniors eating Alpo have never been proven (I believe).

Justin Time said...

Alpo? God no! I was hoping for something more along the lines of Gravy Train.

I don't know about you, but I wont be receiving one of those COLA adjusted, guaranteed-for-life passive income streams that all the government workers get.

I actually have to save up the millions required to generate that kind of passive income...

DU said...

Actually, jewelry never crossed my mind. I was thinking of something like a antique book, clock, carved pipe, baseball card, painting, or something. I really didn't think through it very much.

As for the list, you make a point. But it is necessary for me to have something for her to open on Christmas and birthday for the simple reason that I feel better I guess. I do feel the pressure with kids and family to get something to not look like a jerk.

My wife and I talk about this stuff and what it means, what we are communicating to each other, the kids, etc.

I make an effort to buy her little things when least expected like flowers or chocolate. I just have a block when it comes to buying at birthday, Christmas, Valentines, etc. It helps me cope when I have a list from which to work.

Try just writing out love letters to her. I know that sounds mooshy but I think we all like to think that someone took time to think about us in a positive way and take the time to communicate it. It's sort of like keeping the courting going.