Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Pooped From Paganized Christmas Festivities

I just got home today from 4 days at my parents' place in arctic Massachusetts.

I was met by 2 feet of snow in my driveway that needed to be shoveled.

That was on top of the 12 inches I had to help remove from my parents' house; AND I also helped shovel out my BIL's cars in Connecticut this afternoon. He had thrown out his back.

1.5 weeks ago I picked up my brother at the airport and since then it's been non-stop eating, drinking, entertaining, shopping, wrapping, unwrapping, and driving all over the place.

To say that my *productivity* suffered is to put it mildly. And I'm freakin' exhausted.

I'm supposed to be on the road to Miami now except that I haven't been able to secure a place to my liking as of yet. Of course there are tons of places to rent down there - given the imploding economy and the *overdevelopment* - except that these condo owners mortgagers are too Moronic to consider reality-based bids.

For example:

I emailed some guy - actually a bunch - with my standard questions, "Do you have internet?" and "If you would consider $2,500 for the month of January, please let me know."

The knuckle-head CALLS me back:

CaptiousNut - Wait, I've contacted a lot of people. How much are you looking for?

KnuckleHead - It's $3,200 for January.

CaptiousNut - I'm sure in my email I told you my price point was $2,500.

KnuckleHead - Well, you're never going to find a 2 bedroom for $2,500....maybe a studio...

CaptiousNut - Okay. It's December 26th, right? And you're not rented, right?

KnuckleHead - Yeah.

CaptiousNut - How about considering that YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO RENT YOUR CONDO, for January, for $3,200?

What pissed me off as much as his demonstrable stupidly was the fact that HE CALLED ME. The whole point of my emailed bid was to avoid conversations like that.

Then I had another one right after him. It was some woman who wouldn't answer any of my questions "Internet?" and "What price?" over email. She's just like my MIL. They do this so they can *screen* people over the phone. Whatever. I took her call and eventually she got around to telling me how much she wanted for her 2 BR condo on Key Biscayne:

DumbRealEstateWoman - It's $4,000 for the month.

CaptiousNut - Well, I'm looking to spend only $2,500 a month....my wife has me on a budget. (laughing)

DumbRealEstateWoman - It's *the season*. That's what it costs.

CaptiousNut - But the place is unrented still for January, right? It's December 26th...

DumbRealEstateWoman - I have two other people that are very interested. One is just about to take it.

CaptiousNut - So it sounds like you're all set then. You don't need me. (I'm trying to get off the phone)

DumbRealEstateWoman - Listen, I'm in the real estate business. It's THE SEASON. $4,000 is the going rate...

CaptiousNut - But you're not rented right? (still trying to hang up)

DumbRealEstateWoman - I'm a broker. I've been in real estate for 17 years.

CaptiousNut - So what? I've been in the real estate business for many years also. (slight embellishment!)

CaptiousNut - Look, keep my number and if you change your mind call me back. My price is $2,500. Thanks.

These fools would rather be unrented than step down in price!!!

The thing is, any deal they give a last-minute lowballer like myself would COST THEM NOTHING. It'd be a 100% private transaction. They could still hold out for their fantasy rates going forward.

For point of reference, 2 years ago I paid $2,200 for a typical 2 BR condo in Naples for the month of January - another last-minute, lowball situation.

Now Miami is more expensive than Naples, by a little, and I could very easily pay the *going rate* for a month down there.

But I always have my price points and I stick to them. Heck, an extra $1,000 is 5 days at Disney or a new computer for my Princess. Or new golf clubs for me!

A month in Miami is surely worth 4k but I can't pay it, not on December 28th, to one of these buffoons, on principle alone!

I'll talk more about this process as it unfolds.

Right now I'm going to try to get some rest.

No comments: