Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Marginalizing The 30th Birthday Party

I'm so glad that at 35, I'm safely passed this ridiculous social stage.

I couldn't stand going to them because, well, what exactly were we celebrating?

Invariably, these parties were for people who delayed marriage or delayed breeding. (And always had a dog!)

And, often they were pathetically thrown by the celebrant!

If not, they were *surprises* from their significant other. Also, when one half of a couple threw a big one for their noopy....then we could be sure to be invited for the reciprocating one soon thereafter. For example, a handful of years ago we had to go to two identical *surprise*, husband-and-wife, 30th birthday parties at Morton's in Hoboken, NJ. The guest lists were also the same; and both parties sported the same flaming, huge, black party dude as the MC.

Now, I'm all for finding a minor excuse to pig out and fact we are turning our daughter's 3rd birthday anniversary into a large scale adult soirée this weekend.

But there's nothing at all inherently worth celebrating about hitting 30.

So all those parties really do is draw attention to the fact that somebody needs attention.


Taylor Conant said...


I like this post for the picture at the top. Nima is one fine looking 30 yo, if that's her there at the top.

CaptiousNut said...

One fine looking 30 yo *ho*, you mean, right?

Is she a stripper?

Did she pathetically throw her own party and CHOOSE THAT PIC????

Imagine if she were your daughter. After all, she is somebody's.

CaptiousNut said...


A fine looking unattached(?) 30 year old broad....

Well, what do y'all figure the odds of her having some serious *issues*.

I guess that lecture I gave you recently didn't dent your wanton superficiality!

Find a Plain Jane that can cook, weave, and conversate!

Taylor Conant said...


Ran a google search and Nima is a guy (clothing designer in NY?) and that woman is def not 30. Probably mid 20s. That esplains it.

Anonymous said...

That is one fine piece of Arsh. I know from experience! - Chris Farley

CaptiousNut said...

You googled her?

Anonymous said...

Wow, your sad. I was looking up ideas for a 30th birthday party and stumbled upon your post. While I agree that 30 is not necessarily any more spectacular than 29 or 31 it really doesn't matter what you think. People can make there own decisions to throw partys. By the way the fact that someone is in their 30's and hasn't had children yet (or may be choosing not to) is a sign of intelligence. The rest of you baby making 20 years olds need something to make you feel loved or keep your boyfriends/husbands around. Why don't you wait until you're fiscally responsible.

Have a great 36th!

Grumpy ol' Biatch