Okay, I've done this several times now and it is ALWAYS beyond hilarious.
CaptiousNut - What, are you losing a tooth?
Kid - Yeah.
CaptiousNut - Is it your first one?
Kid - No. I've already lost some.
CaptiousNut - How much did you get from the tooth fairy?
Kid - Two dollars. [or three or even less]
CaptiousNut - Wow. You're supposed to get $20.
NOW YOU SEE THE EYES WIDEN AND THE WHEELS SPINNING IN THEIR LITTLE DOMES...
Kid - Really?
CaptiousNut - Every kid I know gets $20 for each tooth from the tooth fairy?
Kid - Well I only get----
CaptiousNut - You put it under your pillow, right?
Kid - Yeah.
CaptiousNut - And it's gone in the morning, right?
Kid - Yeah.
CaptiousNut - Well, you should be getting $20 per tooth?
WHEELS SPINNING...
And this is where it gets really good. Because you only start this conversation when either their mother or father is within earshot. Watching their muted reaction to my provocation is gold, gold Jerry. (Roundtine)
CaptiousNut - $20 is the going rate now. [So and so, choose someone they know] just lost a tooth and found $20 under their pillow...
Right about now the kid is actively trying to pull out their next tooth right in front of me!
CaptiousNut - I'm pretty sure that you'll get $20 for your next one. Also, the two front teeth are $30 each!
Obviously, the nearby parent wants to kill me but can't reveal their *fairy* identity in front of their deprived kid and must therefore swallow their anger.
Y'all can use this one if you want - though it may take some of you lesser liars out there a bit of practice before you are sufficiently convincing.
3 comments:
Lying to children is the most fun ever. Giving them candy bars and getting them all wild and jumpy is even better.
I'm thinking $3 a tooth for my own - tops.
I believe it was my cousin in NJ who did inform me of $20 tooth fairies in her hood.
I lost all my baby teeth before you were born. We got a quarter.
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