Sunday, October 26, 2008

My First Roadkill

That's right. About two hours ago my Chevy Suburban squashed an animal out in Worcester. It might have been a fox, a dog of fox-like color with pointy ears, or a cat that looked like a fox.

I was not driving recklessly fast, and I did hit the brake. It galloped in full-stride straight under my wheels. My brother will testify in my defense.

Now I didn't stop to identify the animal. Was I supposed to? I had just eaten.

I notified my father and instructed him to verify my kill in the morning. That is....if he can get there before the local Chinese restaurateur.

About 10-15 years ago, my mother actually hit a black bear with her car up near the New Hampshire border. She trembled in her demolished car - too panicked to use her *emergency* cell phone while the wounded bear circled about. State Troopers eventually came and shot the bear. So as a roadkiller I have good pedigree even though I've obviously gotten off to a slow start.

You know, the other day I was just thinking that I had never so much as run over a squirrel.

Hah! All I have to do is think.


Taylor Conant said...

I think my first kill was a bunny with my Civic coming home late one night from a buddy's place about a year ago. I live near a semi-wilderness area and around midnight the wildlife comes into the neighborhood... specifically bunnies and other rodentia

Anyway, on the topic of animal torture, check out these squirrel abuse vids, hilarious:

Anonymous said...

Honestly, and in all seriousness, it might have been better if you stopped. Something similar happened to a friend of mine in Western MA. Someone hit her dog, left it for dead and she ended up finding it on the side of the road. Not a pleasant situation.

CaptiousNut said...


So it's better that me, my brother, my wife, and my two small children deal with a dead or semi-dead carcass?

What's Western MA to you? Canton?


That one video was good. Thanks.