Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Avoid Mass-Marketed Magazines

Recently I bought something online and actually filled out a *spammed* customer survey. For my troubles I was granted a bunch of free magazine subscriptions - well for six months anyway. One of the mags my wife and I whimsically chose was Travel + Leisure.

The first issue came and today I perused it at the park. Let me just say that it's drenched in asinine environmentalism. Every third word is *green*, *sustainable*, *eco-friendly*, *local produce*, *low-impact*, *fair-trade nuts*, etc.

I mean, who the heck goes on vacation worrying about this garbage???

What the heck is *Leisurely* about fretting over your *enviromental footprint*???

Inside they had a review of the Element Hotel in nearby Lexington, MA.

Starwood’s first LEED-certified extended-stay hotel, in the quiet Boston suburb of Lexington.

Green Cred: From the outside, this 123-room property may look like your average business traveler’s hotel, but the difference is in the details: oversize windows make use of natural light; the pantry is stocked with treats from the Lexington Farmers Market; hybrid cars get prime spots in the parking lot; and the gym overlooks a solar-heated indoor pool. Rooms are Ikea-style minimalist, with smart space-saving touches such as a recycled-quartz kitchen table that doubles as a desk, and faux-leather stools. Free bikes are available for guests, but the hotel’s splashiest achievement is the inclusion of low-flow waterfall showerheads.

Hybrid cars get prime spots? I'll be they don't have reserved spots for pregnant women. (Charlotte had them all over.)

FYI, Lexington, Massachusetts is home to the most enthusiastic eco-pagans in this horrible state.

In the same issue they published some crap on minibars stocked with *food that gives you a sense of where you really are*. Here was their choice beer:

The mini-bars at the Hotel Monaco stock one of Portland's best beers: Drop Top Amber Ale ($5), made at a partially wind-powered brewery near the waterfront.

Partially wind-powered brewery???

Who could care?

Anyways, I'll only drink beer that was brewed by at least 90% alternative energy.

Then on the same page they highlight some mini-bar *seasonal* cheese featured at Vermont hotel (Twin Farms).

In the magazine they say that rooms at Twin Farms *start at $1,200*. Yeah, I looked, they do start there and reach up to $2,800 per night.

Ever been to Vermont? There's nothing there. When you drive through the Green Mountain State, the *seek* button will cycle all the way through the dial without hitting a radio station. I can't in my wildest dreams imagine any hotel being worth near that up there. What comes with the $2,800, a harem? Vermont is hardly scenic (compared to Maine and New Hampshire) and furthermore, it's very had to get to (you'll be driving). Methinks one has to be a complete Moron to spend that kind of money for a night in Vermont.

Now considering all the *save the planet* nonsense in Travel + Leisure, do any of these fools realize how many African kids someone could support for a couple thousand dollars?

I might just throw this magazine straight in the recycle bin trash for the next 5 months.


Unknown said...

Twin Farms is indeed expensive. On the other hand, they employ more than 50 people in a state where it's hard to find a job ... perhaps you want them unemployed? Or at McDonalds?

CaptiousNut said...

Yes, I would very much like them unemployed.

And sick too!

There's a big, important difference between the ability to *sound out* words and actual reading comprehension.