Monday, November 22, 2010
Dumb Sober Okie
So Saturday night at a bar in NYC I find an Oklahoma driver's license.
The place is packed, I'm busy enjoying my manly beer, I'm catching up with a good friend, and really don't feel like looking around the bar to see if he's nearby.
Eventually I leave and take it with me - rationalizing that this 25 year old Moron from Okalahoma ought be taught a lesson about what should be his MOST VALUED POSSESSION.
You know, I could sell this thing for $100, or $200 here in wealthy NYC, in a heartbeat.
I could have my high school nephew or niece do the brokering very easily. Heck, my 15 year-old nephew himself might want it since he and the Moron bear a certain facial likeness.
But alas, if I did that, you just know some underage kid would use the ID, buy, get drunk, and run someone over. AND I'd probably get found out, hung by my testicles, and go to jail or something in this (bleeped)-up world we live in.
Can't sell hot dogs on the street or taxi people to the airport without a *license*, can't open a restaurant without building a handicap ramp and meeting a hundred other costly ordinances, and one can't peddle a single misplaced driver's license...
I messaged the guy on MyFaceSpace.com last night.
If he responds, I'm going to tell him I want $17.99 before mailing it to him. Heck, this Wednesday is the biggest drinking night of the year for his demo...