So last week Boston Celtic Kevin Garnett briefly suffered *image trouble* for allegedly calling a hairless opponent a *cancer patient*.
Oooooooooohhhhhh. Uhhhhhhhh Ohhhhhh.
But KG was quick to challenge the accusation and publicly submit (Tweet?) his own version:
"My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact 'You are cancerous to your team and our league.' I would never be insensitive to the brave struggle that cancer patients endure. I have lost loved ones to this deadly disease and have a family member currently undergoing treatment. I would never say anything that distasteful. The game of life is far bigger than the game of basketball."
If that isn't one of the worst clarifying, denying, if-then apologies I've ever heard.
Instead of asserting that Villanueva was a victim of cancer....Kevin Garnett, in asking for understanding(?), calls the guy CANCEROUS himself.
Now would it be a worse insult to call someone a victim - or a CAUSE OF CANCER???
This jogs two South Philadelphia anecdotes in my memory...
I once heard *Out-Of-Whack* Jack say to *Enquirer* Frank's foursome:
"I hope youse[sic] all get cancer!!!"
After one of those guys in the group ahead allegedly picked up and pocketed *Out-Of-Whack*'s ball on the 6th hole (the one by the apartments!).
And here's the other blast from the past that comes to mind from KG's reverse apology:
Here is my favorite personal Big Mouth story. I played in a golf tournament in Philly about ten years ago. One of the guys I played with took more than a little license with the rules. When I found out the guy turned in a score of 75, I let others know what actually happened on the course.
Now the word gets out and the body-building drug dealer comes looking for me. He runs in the clubhouse and pulls me aside to "talk to me".
Jerk: Did you tell SOMEONE that I cheated?
C-Nut: No Bruno, I TOLD EVERYONE YOU CHEATED.
I'll never forget how far his jaw dropped when I laid that one on him. It's a wonder I am still alive.