Saturday, April 17, 2010

Meatball Frustration

I'm about at my wits' end trying to make some passable meatballs.

Over the last several months I must have tried 10 times to make them edible to no avail. In fact, my latest batch was terrible.

I've tried a lot of parsley, and no parsley, heavy on breadcrumbs, and light on breadcrumbs, two eggs up to 6 eggs, with Parmesan cheese and with a whole lot more cheese...

I've tried frying them and I've tried baking them.

I've even tried expensive organic beef!

I've Googled for recipes....and I've interrogated good cooks I know. All to no avail.

My latest tinkering, in hopes of reproducing the out-of-this-world meatballs some homeschooling *mom* I know makes, involved ultra-lean beef, Worcestershire sauce, and of all things - jarred sauce! (All three ingredients were novel in my experimentation.)

I did just about everything she told me but mine came out, like I said above, the worst batch yet.

There are still some variables I can tweak - like my brand of breadcrumbs (homemade), my brand of cheese (pecorino romano), etc. But my frustration is so high I'm about ready to quit on this one, for now anyway.

My wife laughed her hiney off at me the other day as I cursed this last batch botch. The 100% guidette said I was just proving that there's no way a Polack such as myself could ever concoct a decent meatball!

What kills me is that I can really cook otherwise.

See also - Pasta Rotation - Bolognese.


Taylor Conant said...


Why the hell are you baking them you old coot? They need to be quickly sautted and then simmered in a sauce lest they completely dry out.

Anonymous said...

Taylor - what about freezing them right away? My mother (also a Polack) did this, and they weren't half-bad. Of course, the cheese, and also three types of meat - pork, beef, veal also are important I think.

If all else fails, C-nut, I heartily recommend the IKEA brand ones from the Stoughton store [you will have to brave the accident trap that is Rt. 24] - tastes just like the Vasa Swedes used to make in old Poland or some marketing crap like that. But seriously, that and the sauce packets are friggin' sweet. Can definitely taste a hint of juniper in there.

Anonymous said...


CaptiousNut said...


I think I'm with you on mixing up the meat. The veal may be too light for my wife, so a 50/50 beef and pork attack may be up next.

But I have to wait until my wife is out of town for a while. I don't need her laughing at my meatballs again!