Sunday, April 11, 2010

Nowhere To Run!

So my first wife ran a local 10k road race today.

She runs a little bit, but has never before gone that long - 6.21371192 miles.

AND, making it even more difficult, we were *out* last night.

Before she was about to leave she articulated her primary fear to me.

You see, when Mrs. C-Nut goes running, it activates the *terminal stages* of her digestive system. In fact, there was a particular ice cream shop in Brooklyn Heights near the end of her *loop* that she often had to go barreling into!

Me? I never have any scat issues. I go when I want, with plenty of warning, and in a matter of a minute or so. No back-ups, no gushers, etc. I need not coffee, reading material, or any other catalysts.

I scolded my dear wife and suggested she *take care* of her needs beforehand. We are on our way out of town, but still an *accident* of this nature amidst 1,700 neighborly participants could be ruinous. To my chagrin, she pushed back, declaring absolute powerlessness in that department.

In a last ditch effort to convey the seriousness of the risk she was taking....I ushered her over to my computer and made her behold the pic of that poor fellow above.


Anonymous said...

Only my brother could follow a graphic post about "scat" with a post about C.S. Lewis on religion. Hmm..I never thought that the readership for these subjects would be identical, but what do I know about marketing?

I guess I should avoid reading the blog with my breakfast.

CaptiousNut said...

Everyone poops...