Saturday, November 08, 2008

The Bottom Quartile Of New Parents

So my sister's kid weighed in at the *5th percentile*. Who could care?

New parents with their percentiles are nauseating.

It's real simple - if you can see their ribs, feed them more. If they look like the Michelin Man, then maybe you ought to think about some portion control.

The obsession with this statistical crap is out-of-control. I am going to start asking parents what *percentile* their kid is in with more important things like with their *numbers and letters*. Or throw out stuff like,

"Hey, your kid is three and still has a binky! Got to be in like the 5th percentile for maturity. Doesn't bode well for the college application process."

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