Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Yet Another Ridiculous, Illiterate, Crass Hit Song

I just heard it on the radio - it's called Birthday S*x. Read Decipher the lyrics below if you can:

Yeah, yeah, yeah

{Verse 1}

It's your birthday so I know
you want to riiide out,
Even if we only go to myyy house
Sip mo- weezy as we sit upon myyy couch
Feels good, but I know you want to
cryyy out
You say you want passion
I think you found it
Get ready for action
Don't be astounded
We switchin' positions
You feel surrounded
Tell me where you want
your gift, girl


Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
I've been feenin'
Wake up in the late night...dreamin' about your lovin'
Girl you know I-I-I
Girl you know I-I-I
Don't need candles or cake
just need your body to make good

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It's the best day of the year, girl

Birthday sex
Birthday sex

It feels like, feels like... lemme hit that...g-spot g-spot

{Verse 2}

See you sexy and them jeans got me
on 10
1-2-3, think I got you pinned
Don't tap out...fight until the end
Ring that bell; we gon start over again
We grindin' wit passion, cuz it's yo birthday
Been at it for hours...I know you thirsty
You kiss me so sweetly...taste just like Hershey's
Just tell me how you want yo gift, girl


{Verse 3}

First I'm gonna take a dive into the water deep until I know I pleased
that body (body ah oop)
Or girl without a broom
I might just sweep you off your feet
And make you wanna tell somebody
(body, how I do)
somebody body how i do
Or maybe we can float on top my water bed you close your eyes as i impry between your legs
We work our way from kitchen stoves, and tables
Girl you know I'm more than able to please, yeah
Say you wanted flowers on the bed (on the bed)
But you got me and now it's on again

{Chorus) (it's the best day of the year, girl)
(lemme know what it feels like, feels like, when I hit that G-spot, G-spot)

My wife's birthday is fast approaching - a time of annual stress for her husband. Allow me to remind y'all that there're freakin' 5 holidays per year where I'm supposed to gift-wrap a token of my love and appreciation. After 11 years of togetherness, I'm about out of ideas.


Yeah right - that won't suffice! Mrs. C-Nut went all out this year, against my explicit wishes, and showered me with several gifts last month for my 35th birthday.

It was absolute and total BS. It was simply a ruse to inflate her own July birthday celebration. For some reason chicks are crazy about their birthdays - no check that, they are crazy about their *birthday weekends* and even *birthday weeks*!

So I'm going to have to give the wife something material soon. Though, she definitely deserves to find this stupid song, as a joke(!), in her inbox next week.

[Just got another laugh running spellcheck on this post! The lyrics blew up into a sea of red.]

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