Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Worst Baby Name Ever

SOMEONE within my extended family just had a baby and chose the most God-awful name imaginable. I wish I could spell it out for y'all. Instead, everyone will have to make do with a mere sampling of the reaction I've garnered:
  • Unbelievable.
  • Not in a million years would I name a kid that. WHY?
  • That is what everyone is saying - why, how? It sounds perverted in some way to me.
  • Poor kid. You almost feel sorry for the little guy, as like you say people will ask why, who, whatever...
  • I know - poor kid - people are getting really crazy with their made up names these days.
  • I think the grandparents should get together and talk to them about it - I mean he will get made fun of to no end.
  • No kidding. I just do not understand why people do that. They think it is cute or something.
  • Total a$$holes....
  • I'm going to be nonjudgmental on this one....I think they got the idea from "One life to Live".
  • Seriously...."cool" nicknames are one thing but what they did is selfish, bordering on abusive.
  • I keep reading this and getting more and more pissed off.
  • Classic….the kid better learn karate.
  • Usually parental mistakes happen a little later….not right at birth.

The last one was my favorite reaction because it came from an *expert* - a parent of a teenager who could easily write the "How to" manual on parental mistakes!

After I emailed my brother the *name announcement* he instantly called me on the phone from overseas. For a day or so he was downright convinced that I was messing with him. "No, seriously, what's the name," he kept pestering me with.

Now remember, this is just a fraction of the feedback I've gotten; it's only what was in my email inbox. The verbal reactions were pretty much unanimous in declaiming it the *worst* name anyone's ever heard.

AND my son, my 4.6 year old son went into hysterics when I told him the baby's name. In between belly-aching laughs he declared, "THAT'S NOT A NAME!!!"

Again, sorry I can't divulge the actual moniker on this blog.

Trust me, this name is absolutely terrible. And consider the one commenter above who said the name sounded *perverted*.

Well, I just googled the name and discovered that the first/middle name inverted is in fact the name of a male p0rn star.

So the middle-aged woman who offered up that comparison just inadvertently admitted to having somewhat of a naughty streak in her!

And the poor kid has to bear that stigma on top of just having a made-up, ridiculous name.

Recently I personally broke through in the baby name department.

And I also blogged a bit on kids' names in - New Parent Empricism.


Paul Mitchell said...

I want to KNOW. The worst one that I have heard was Espn. Pronounced just like the tee-vee network.

CaptiousNut said...


Espn? For real?

The name in question isn't quite as stupid, but overall it's worse.

And I'll never call you *Paul Mitchell* - at least not on a Worst Baby Name Ever post!

For everyone else, here's his coming-out post.

Paul Mitchell said...

I actually heard it on the radio, three babies named that at the same hospital in Chicago. I almost had to pull over and punch a light pole.

And sorry, that is certainly my real name. I get that stuff a lot though.

CaptiousNut said...

For almost 20 years my mother's Paul Mitchell shampoo/conditioner sat there in the shower staring at my blossoming, naked body.

Oh, the stories *he* could tell....

Paul Mitchell said...

Well, now, color me blushing.

CaptiousNut said...

You do color too?

Paul Mitchell said...

Yes, but not that kind, renderings and stuff. I still have not put any content on my website, though. I planned on being finished last December, FAIL.

Anonymous said...

Did they name the kid "Seven" after George Costanza?

CaptiousNut said...


After a male porn star....