Friday, February 19, 2010

Midnight Warfare

This is what my wife does.

She goes to bed *overdressed* - with flannels and once in a while even socks!

Consequently, she's sweating right from the get-go; and then all night long she's throwing the covers all onto my side. Then I'm over-covered, and have to ventilate by periodically dangling my leg off the edge.

BUT, in the morning, she's freezing. She gets pissed AT ME for cover theft, grabs the blankets with two hands, and not only pulls them hard, she performs a *rollover and pin* to punctuate her rage. The *pin* prevents any re-acquisition.

And there I lay in my naked glory, completely uncovered and freezing my unvasectomized stones off!

Now being a little hot or a little cold at night....I can handle that.

BUT the self-oblivious, belligerent accusations that I *stole* the covers....that might very well one day drive me to a divorce attorney!

Or, minimally, I might round-up all those flannel PJs of hers and set them ablaze.

Twin beds....not a bad idea!


Anonymous said...

I vote "round-up all those flannel PJs of hers and set them ablaze" ;)

armybrat said...

wait till you both get a bit older. You'll be the one in flannels and socks while she's naked with the AC set at 50, the ceiling fan on high and a fan at the foot of the bed going full blast.

Anonymous said...

Remove "d" word from vocabulary.
Buy two Snugglies !
Call on -air marriage counselor, Dr.Laura.
Consult Prince and /or Princess C-Nuts.

These are two Hi-IQ people ???

CaptiousNut said...


Why do you say that?

Even among the 'old coots' I've always seen the females all bundled up and the men in skivvies.

Across the generations, men have always traded warmth for more accessible *scratching*, no?

armybrat said...

voice of experience.