Friday, December 11, 2009

Sick Of The Festivities

Man, that's always a classic, hilarious picture - with the back rub and held-hair!

You just know, that with those heels, her end-game IS STILL to hook up with some unsuspecting dude...

Guess what, that was my 35.41 year old wife last night (the first part). She came home from her Christmas *Winter Holiday* work party just after midnight....

And fifteen minutes later, whilst I was blogging I overheard four distinct chunk-blowing eruptions behind me.

How old are we again?

I presume she held her own hair; and re-brushed her teeth before going to bed.

[But I didn't take any chances!]

This is turning into a problem around here. She was out three of the past six nights - including a 5pm-1:46am romp with the local *moms* last Saturday. And she's got afternoon cookie bakes and whatnot still on the horizon.

Must be getting me back for my *golf trips* and whatnot, I guess.

Tomorrow night's a champagne party - for both of us. And I LOVE champagne.

At weddings, after the best man toast, I generally go around and drink everyone's unconsumed glass at our table - and at adjacent ones.

Back in the day, when I was in the trading pit...after an extraordinarily profitable session, I'd go to the bar and inhale two entire bottles myself (and dream up ways to lose that cash as soon as possible!).

Sure, drinking all that bubbly gets me seriously whacked....but I just may have to deliberately cross the line tomorrow to get back at Mrs. C-Nut.

I believe my Seinfeldian non-vomit streak is precisely 4 years now. Ironically, the last instance was coming home from her company's *Winterfest* whatever party in 2005. I did try to project the chunks out onto the Mass Pike....but it turns out, they just stuck to entire side of the car. Thank God she was driving.

It would have been a great photo op for someone so inclined.

1 comment:

Taylor Conant said...

I discovered the same physical properties of projectile-vomit from a moving vehicle in college and had to spiff the taximan $20 at the end of the ride out of guilt for my friend, who I had helped puke out the open-window to spare the interior of the cab, instead just drenched the left-rear fender and trunk area.