Wednesday, December 16, 2009

To Jail Or Not To Jail?

It was 1.333 years ago that we *turned the knob around* on our daughter's bedroom door. Recall she kept getting up, all night long. This way we could lock the scofflaw in, if necessary.

Though nearly 3.5 years old, the Princess still makes late night visits to our bedroom - usually around 2:41am or so, probably every other day. You see, at 12:30am, or even 1:30am....I'd have the energy and will power to pick her up and carry her back through the freezing house (I sleep in the buff!) and all the way up to her room.

But at 2:41am, my wife and I figure we can share the bed with her for another 2 hours and 19 minutes or so, until Mrs. C-Nut vacates her bed real estate; or I do on golf days. The sneaky little girl knows darn well our time threshold!

We haven't locked the Princess in her room in some time now. I've kind of rethought the whole thing. My daughter has those night terrors. She wakes up screaming and inconsolable. I just about have to slap her little face to wake her up and out of it. I've come to see the locking in as somewhat cruel - even though we only exercised the option a handful of times. Our daughter is, after all, still a *child*.

Plus I've been reading all that *attachment parenting* propaganda....

Okay we won't go there, not now anyway.

On a side note, one *attachment parent* I know told me that she's been having a hard time relating to some of her South Shore neighbors. While she breast-fed hers through age 3, and I presume has nothing against a little *family bed* time....she's not feeling so compatible with her peers who are, "Ferberizing their kids." These two parenting methods truly are in utter and complete opposition! (Ferberizing is essentially letting the kids scream their heads off, and thus no different than locking them in their rooms, etc.)

So why is this subject getting rehashed here?

Well, a friend of ours, a *detachment* parent of twins(!), just told me that, after putting locks on the outside of her kids' doors....that HER MOTHER threatened to call *social services*!

Now just because I've personally decided against incarcerating my nocturnal daughter, that doesn't mean that I'm about to wax judgmental on others who do so.

To report your own daughter for something like this...

That's pretty bad. And grounds for eventually sending the 'old bag' grandmother to one of those really inexpensive nursing homes far, far away.

See the pretext - On Child Incarceration.

And for a wee bit on *attachment* theories, see - Complete Book Review - Hold On To Your Kids


Mom in MA said...

We use this and attach it to the inside of the doorway. It has a locking, swinging, gate door that can be opened/closed.

We are able to attach it to a part of the door frame whereby we are still able to open/close the 'real' door if need be.

This allows us to keep our 2 year old wanderer in his room without the severity of a closed door. It's still open and we can hear him if he 'needs' us.

We originally added it because it was easier than trying to retrofit a baby gate to the top of the stairs which are near his bedroom door. Gotta love an old house.

CaptiousNut said...

Oh, man, I hate old houses!

I don't know, a *gate* flirts with outright incarceration.

Would your mother turn you in?

We had a gate, only used it for the first kid, and only once in a while. We were lucky that the two homes we were in were pretty naturally child-proof.

But we also let the kids have free rein on the stairs from the get-go. One might have fallen twice, but that was it - and only a 4 or 5 step descent. Too many people don't give their kids the freedom to learn.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I grew up like that...6 kids, lots of freedom...stitches 3x on my face by age 12! ha.

A gate is less likely to induce trauma than a solid door. I'd never lock my kids behind a closed door. That's department of familys services stuff...

How about this ridiculousness I happened upon tonight ... a listing not far from me. The realtor has got to be smoking something if she thinks that Atlantic Bagel will be a draw to anyone...blech.