Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Eviction Update - Scat Leverage



Recall I have only a couple of weeks before I have to appear in Housing Court - where my landlord is trying to get some money from me(!) and boot me out of his GMAC's house.

Let's go waaaaaay back to 2.5 years ago when I moved in.

There was another family here renting this house for a few months. On their way out, there were some expensive *septic issues*, an occasion which my landlord used to keep their security deposit. The young lady who lived there was bull$hit about the whole thing. She and her husband are rather well off and didn't see the point of fighting over their deposit. But she was irate because the landlord tried to blame a poorly-installed septic system on something she might have done. The contractor who was digging the thing up informed her that the problems with the poop shoot had nothing to do with anything she may have flushed; they were all due to a cheap jerry-rigged installation.

Now since we've been here, right away the blower blew out costing my idiotic landlord $770. See - Homeownership Sucks!

Furthermore, the tank alarm has gone off frequently for who knows what reason. Once some septic dude came and started cursing something its *problematic installation*. I'm quite sure the matter was brought to the attention of my landlord....and summarily ignored.

And this past fall, while hitting golf balls deep in the backyard I started to smell some *crap* - at least once in a while. Leakage?

Fast-forward to today. It's been winter-time so I haven't been outside much. But today I followed up on a suspicion of mine out back. I went right up to the septic tank machine or whatever it is and discovered that the blower was not working. I flipped the switch a few times; tried to reset it; but all to no avail.

Why was I suspicious? Well, for one thing the blower is pretty loud and I felt like I hadn't heard it in quite some time. Secondly, our toilets have been burping, swirling, and clogging quite a bit recently.

Hmmmmm.....so what's going on here?

Could the tank be getting backed up? Or could it be full?

I read something today that said a septic tank should be pumped every 2-3 years. Well we've been here precisely that long and have never seen the tank get emptied. Go figure. Recall that 75% of my family is home all day long - pooping and peeing rather prolifically. Only my wife here has the option of an occasional septic-tank-relieving *work $hit*. So if the average person's tank needs pumping that often, then I'd bet ours is most certainly overdue.

So what should I do with this development?

Septic issues are more delicate, or precarious than run-of-the-mill tenant gripes. Yeah, if there's a rat I can complain, withhold a little rent, etc....but I can still live here.

But if the toilet were to blow up, there's no way I can spend the money needed to fix it and deduct such a large sum from my rent. No, I'd be defecating in a bucket!

Thus my first instinct was to contact my landlord right away:

CaptiousNut - I don't know what you did to turn the septic system off....but it's not going to look good when brought to the judge's attention in two weeks.

Hee hee...

And if he had any designs on getting me out of here, or collecting any allegedly unpaid rent, he'd have to go into his pocket and call a septic repair service. (And of course, I've already decided that anyone he sends out for anything....I will caution them against doing work without getting most of the money upfront! Yes, I am that thorough, and that devious!)

But I'm going to do some more research before communicating this problem. I want to continue slow playing my hand; I could save this revelation for the judge in two weeks as yet more evidence of his negligence.

Or I could contact local authorities. I have to assume that malfunctioning septic tanks are the stuff that Boards of Health take a keen interest in.

For the prior installment of this melodrama, see - Water Torture.

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